at 4 AM Life Stands Still

"I believe in whatever gets you through the night.
Night is the hardest time to be alive. For me,
anyway. It lasts so long, and four AM knows all my
secrets. Four AM is when my dreams die."

-Lost Souls, Poppy Z. Brite

At 4 AM Life Stands Still

Sleeping isn't my problem,
it's the waking.

At 4 AM with eyes wide open
just past night but right before day
in a void where no one else is conscious,
I don't know the difference between
real or phantasm.

I just know that here
the dead reach for me
and the devil speaks.

Sometimes it's a scream
other times flailing arms
that free me from the dream I was having
or really, having me.

There's fire all around
everything is glowing.
I'm looking down at my body
my big toe starts to sting
my body is getting farther away.

My grandmother is on the phone again
she's laughing
out of control
kind of like that woman in that Wizard movie
my grandmother passed months ago.

I need to dial the phone
the numbers are too blurry
I keep pushing them
connecting to the wrong number
I need help now
I can't make them out
I can't see them
something has happened to me
my heart beat is slowing.

They say you can't die in your dreams.
They're wrong.