Black Friday Safety: Better Late Than Never

Yet another black Friday has come and gone, and once again I shake my head in disgust. I've seen reports on CNN, and read articles on AC that talk about the unsightly events that went on at the entrance to to some of these department stores.

Some people blame the materialistic mindset of this nation. Others blame Stores like Walmart for not making the proper preparations to avoid injuries. It's clear to everyone that only one of those two issues can be remedied. And seeing as I I'm in a giving mood, I feel compelled to offer up a couple of helpful solutions.

Allow shoppers to drop in Mission Impossible style and grab what they want.Have a bunch of ladders set up for those who show up at 4 or 5 A.M. Set a few rules before lowering them into the store. Example: 5 items or less at a time, ten minutes on the floor maximum, Can only be lifted back up to the roof 4 times, Don't squeeze the Sharman, etc.

Don't want to spend a lot of money on rope? Fine, just remove an entire wall. Instead of uncivilized customers cramming a narrow doorway, like pigs running to a troff of slop, everyone will have enough room to casually walk into the store. Really, either solution should do the trick.

To deter shoppers from running away with products without paying first, simply have Law enforcement on hand in the parking lot. No one will be aloud to leave without showing a receipt first. Plus, if a fight breaks out between two women over a Elmo doll(almost guaranteed to happen), the cops will already be there to handle it.

While none of this can fix problems from this years Black Friday, if at least one department store decides to use either of my genius ideas it will be a step in the right direction.If not, you can expect more running of the bulls styled trampling, and unneeded bloodshed in the future. Happy holidays!