the Exhausted Mans Guide to Wooing Women

It's human nature to want to pair up with another person, and do whatever two consenting adult like to do in the privacy of their local Motel 6.Love is a beautiful thing. It's also very elusive. This guide will assist men in luring it out of hiding, for the purpose of getting women to take notice of their perceived awesomeness..

Wooing Women: Eye Contact.
Eye contact is the second most important form of communication. People can talk, and listen using only a glance in your general direction. Eyes are hypnotic, sexy, mysterious, and sexy.

Eyes are also, at times, misleading. There could be a beautiful woman across the room, looking at you sitting at a bar. It appears as though she has become quite smitten by your very being. Reality check: You have this huge wad of ear wax coming down the side of your face, and she's frozen in fear.

Wooing Women: Confidence.
You can't just be confident when in the presence of a woman. You have to exude confidence. You have to have that stuff oozing from your pours. Not literally though. Anything oozing out of your flesh is more than likely to scare them away(See previous paragraph.)

If you happen to have a piece of toilet paper stuck to the bottom of your shoe, don't acknowledge it. There's no real reason to panic in this situation. Walk around with your head held high. Women will take notice of this, and view you are an alpha male.

Wooing Women: Body Language.
Body Language is the third most important form of communication. By transferring the confidence from that toilet paper on your shoe, to the way in which you walk, you can maximize your overall visual appeal to the opposite sex.

Of course, this doesn't mean do whatever comes to mind. You may feel more comfortable riding around on a unicycle instead of walking from point A to point B. Please fight that urge. Do your best best to fight it with all your might.

Wooing Women: Linguistics.
Talking is the most important form of communication.You could have the greatest stride when walking, most persistent stare the world has ever seen, and not get anywhere with a woman because of your lack of lack of proper English(or whatever language is spoken amongst the two of you.)

If you know simple greetings such as "Hi." or "Lovely weather we're having to day, isn't it?" you're already ahead of the curb. I'd refrain from saying any of the following: "You've got an apple bottom!" or "Ever think about letting you're hair down? On a scale of one to 10, you'd probably be an honest seven."