Jhx

The essential problem with skyscrapers is that once you've solved the problem of height restriction, than there's really nothing you can do with the things. There's a certain point where height becomes a statistic instead of a viewable wonder. Hence the Cloverleaf. For the first mile, they are a standard downtown contrivance, a pack of skyscrapers towering above their lesser brethren. But at the one mile mark, they suddenly begin to twist and turn about each other in a complicated helix. About another mile above that, the building do not only twist about each other, but actually start to knot in an intricate series of turnings and curves. They never actually touch but frequently come to within a few feet of doing so. By all accounts the views are truly spectacular, (and incredibly expensive).

Of course, each floor in the more complicated regions of the Cloverleaf has its own gravity system. This way work can proceed as usual despite the fact the worker in question might be entirely upside down compared to the distant earth. This does make riding the elevator a rather disquieting experience, however, so most folks just have themselves faxed to whatever floor they need to visit.

Despite the artistic beauty of the Cloverleaf, it is a place of business, and those that work here, being among the movers and shakers of reality, take their jobs very seriously. It is a place where the fates of billions are regularly decided and thus the atmosphere is one of cold professionalism and brutal efficiency. No Hawaiian skin days for the workers of the Cloverleaf. They are here to do the most important jobs that exist and they mean to do it right.

Needless to say, the Arcanoi are completely forbidden here.

Which, of course, means they flock to the place like pigeons.

Nearly all hours of the day and night they can be seen perched among the nooks and crannies of the upper reaches of the Cloverleaf. They are constantly climbing, flying, and parachuting their way to their favorite perches and doing their best to create all the disruption they can to the good workers of the Cloverleaf. Not so much on purpose, you understand, but it is very difficult for your average salaryman to concentrate on his budget reports when a pack of Arcanoi are playing/fighting/humping right outside the window. Scratching at the windows with their claws as they clamber up and down the towers, flapping about from perch to perch, and the occasional gun fights or sword duels all make for a great deal of annoyance among the upper echelons of Cloverleaf.

Oh, there are purges. The Cloverleaf Board is always sending out squads of mercenaries in black helicopters to shoot down the Arcanoi, or packs of griffins to eat them, but the Arcanoi always come back. That is when the Arcanoi are actually driven off. On those occasions when the Arcanoi actually beat the Cloverleaf defensive forces, they have enormous parties and the noise of their giddy celebrations actually seems to penetrate the soundproofed walls of Cloverleaf.

It is all most annoying for the Cloverleafers, as you can imagine.

But great fun for the Arcanoi.

In the center of the great Cloverleaf knot there is a vortex of stone and steel that swirls down into a whirlpool of buildings that allows a clear view straight down to the earth below. It is called the vortex and its perimeter occasions the most expensive workspace in the whole of the Cloverleaf. The fact that Jhx, (Jasmine Harlequin X) and her friend Spiderama Giggleguts are currently suspended in front of the great window with the best view of same is a subject of great embarrassment for the Cloverleafers currently holding a party celebrating one of the greatest business deals in years.

Hanging suspended in a nest of webs, (which further obscures the view for the Cloverleafers), Jhx is dressed somewhat simply for an Arcanoi, (both in clothes and body). She is humanoid and dressed in wide variety of clothing styles which while seeming to utterly clash at first sight, (each being a very different color), achieve a kind of chaotic harmony upon closer viewing, (a fact completely unappreciated by the Cloverleafers currently banging on the window). Her face is, at first glance, an intricate porcelain mask in the style of an ancient doll, (age stains and hairline cracks included), but upon closer viewing it is revealed the mask is fully mobile and expressive, giving an exaggerated life to the facial expressions of the individual wearing it.

Spiderama Giggleguts, being simply a three inch diameter eyeball with eight spider legs, isn't nearly so impressive to look at, (though much more impressive to be looked at by).

"Tickety tack!"

"Skitterguts snapping flies!"

"Wrackety tam a whopidoodle slant tinax!"

"G'wan!"

"And shuddering clocks cause knocks and sock to box!"

And so on and on. Arcanoi are a secretive bunch and each one of them speak a individual language, (or code), they create for themselves. One of the primary steps in truly befriending any Arcanoi is to learn its language, which also the reason so few Arcanoi get along with each other, (never mind everyone else). Jhx and Spiderama speak the language of the Chaos Cat, who was a greatly respected Arcanoi until she got eaten by a Tyrannosaur in a downtown bar last month. It is generally supposed that the Chaos Cat will be back once she gets finished sulking, (the Tyrannosaur snuk up on her in a neutral territory and she's pissed about it).

What Jhx and Spiderama are discussing so intently here on the breaking edge of modern capitalism is rather simple really, though of great social significance.

They're going to conquer Hel.

Rephrase!

On the outermost edge of forever lies the second city. It has, (despite common belief to the contrary), a much lower population than the first city but its inhabitants tend to be far more dangerous, vicious, and tend to dress primarily in black and blood. Under current management, (which has a far higher turnover than you have been led to believe), the name of the place is Hel, in the Norse, (read viking), tradition.

To call it a city is a bit inaccurate, by the way. While Hel is certainly larger than any city that has ever been, (save one), it is really more accurate to call it a fortress. From the outside it is all black walls miles high with great spikes, gigantic wolf heads of iron, and other generally unpleasant bits of architecture decorating its top. Beyond the walls great towers and buildings can be seen, within the windows of which the burning lights of frenzied activity of Hel can be seen all at all hours, (Hel never sleeps). And above all stands the great Tower of the Moon, (in contrast to the Tower of the Sun which stands in the first city). While not as impressive structurally as say, the Cloverleaf, it still manages to do its job, which is to scare the Hel out of anyone within a few hundred miles, (which is about how far out the tower of the Moon can be seen).

While Hel has occasionally been raided by the odd hero or group of same, it has never been seriously assaulted. Generally speaking most folks have better things to do with their time than die.

Until Mac that is.

Rephrase!

Something truly horrible dies squealing. Tentacles flail, a dozen fanged mouths open and close, and single great red eye pops white as a long knife finds its way home.

Jhx is dancing.

Busy, busy, busy!

A room of black basalt walls and grey stone floors. It is a filthy place filled with bones, blood, piles of demonic crap, and a large bank of security monitors. That which once watched those monitors with it single red eye is now a burbling mass of melting slime on the floor.

And Spiderama Giggleguts sits in its place.

"Snack pack!"

"Skippity diddly doo!"

"Phlif!"

Spiderama's many dancing legs dart back and forth across the oversized keys of the control board, (red eyed slimy things need big keys for typing, apparently). View after view of truly horrible places flash across the screens until the monitors all pause for a moment on a variety of views of the bloody ground directly outside the gates of Hel.

This is where the first army of the Arcanoi is doing a great job of getting itself slaughtered.

To describe the battle would be difficult as Arcanoi are not really organized enough to have a battle. A few thousand individual bar room brawls with lots and lots of sharp bits would be a more accurate description. And gunshots. And rockets. And energy beams in all the colors of the rainbow. And explosions, (lots of these).

But the nice things about a battle of this sort is that it tends to draw a lot of attention. Which means a small dark figure with an eyeball with spider legs in its pocket can get quite a bit of sneaking done. And so auxiliary control room 2 has fallen to the first Army of the Arcanoi.

Jhx and Spiderama stop speaking as they watch the screens. Death is nothing new to them, (they've both been dead several times after all), but they've never encountered it on a scale like this before. There has never been a war in their memory and the spectacle is a car wreck that goes on and on. You can't look away.

And then there is Mac.

He rises up out of the bloody carnage, a dozen various nightmares biting and clawing at his steel hide. He must have been knocked down else they would have seen him earlier, for it's hard to miss forty odd feet of steel and guns. Most Arcanoi don't go in for great size, (it makes it easier for other folks to see you coming), but Mac has watched a few too many giant robot movies and he lives the dream. With a sudden spark of twisting electricity the various critters trying to get a bite of a Big Mac suddenly fall away, all charred flesh and burning hair.

As another set of horribles come rushing towards him Mac quickly surveys the scene. His sensors sweep back and forth across the battlefield and Mac comes to a crucial decision. He raises his left hand and gives Hel the bird.

Which, (of course) was the signal for everyone on the battlefield with a free moment and a big gun to shoot at the small red X painted on the great wall ahead of them, (painted there some hours earlier by a very small Arcanoi named Walli). The walls of Hel are strong, but the primary defensive nature of Hel is the fact that it's so damn big that the chances of you're hitting anything vital by taking random potshots at it are virtually zero.

Unless you know exactly what you're aiming at.

And thus it was that the primary control room of the forward defensive line of Hel went blooey. Which, of course meant, that all control systems were immediately switched over to Auxillary Control Room One. At least for the few seconds it took a small bomb hidden in the corridor outside to detonate in a truly impressive way.

At which time all control systems passed to the small, almost unused, Auxillary Control Room Two.

"Bingo!"

"Ker-splatz!"

Tiny spider legs dance across keys which now can do a lot more than just switch camera views. A voice like damned thunder comes crackling out of a speaker on the wall. The voice probably had something very relevant to say which makes it even more the pity that Jhx ripped the speaker out of the wall before it could say it. In the distance, a series of explosions can be heard as various individuals rushing to Auxillary Room 2 discover a bunch to tiny devices that have only two functions. One, to explode when undesirables come near them, and two, to recite an extremely dirty limerick (very quickly) as they detonate.

"Tiko! Tiko!"

"I am hurrying dammit!"

"Fershamanitz Rex!"

"Oh, sorry! Fahsoom belaba!"

Click, click, click, go spider legs on keys. Click! Forward artillery batteries turn off! Click! A pack of unpleasantly nasty things rushing down corridors smash headlong into heavy iron doors slamming shut. Click! The air conditioning goes off! Click! The toilets back up! Click! Click! Click!

Click!

And, for the first time that anyone can remember, the front gates of Hel swing open.

Bingo.

And Mac waves his hand and all the hordes of Arcanoi that he has assembled by sheer force of will surge forward.

And Jhx reaches down, grabs Spidrama, and shoves her deep into a pocket as she races for the door to find what nightmares may come.

And somewhere, somewhere deep in the depths of Hel, the boss is starting to wake up.

And then....

"Kerspow!"