What is it like to Excel Inside a Horizontal Karen Owen? Time for a Thesis

Karen Owen, a recent Duke graduate who released the now infamous mock thesis, "'Excelling in the Realm of Horizontal Academics", has had her opportunity to share with the world the relative strength and weaknesses of thirteen of her sexual conquests during her time at Duke. In a 42 slide PowerPoint presentation, Owen stacked ranked her sex partners, most of who were Duke athletes, and commented and scored them on their abilities in bed.

She covered a wide range of subjects, ranging from topics such as physical appearance to staying power. Owen shared that she enjoyed alcohol infused 'blackout sex' (how she would remember enjoying something while blacked out is not clear), and detailed sexual romps in the Duke University library during finals week. She said she'll have plenty of stories to tell the grandkids someday. My grandmother used to tell me stories about growing up on a farm, and I must admit they were often boring tales. Owen's lucky grandkids will have much more interesting things to talk about with grandma.

As of yet, there has been no public word from the thirteen men who had sex with Owen. Presumably some, perhaps such as the individual who ranked last on her list, are embarrassed and want to move on with things. At least some of them have moved on probably from their glorious time with Karen Owen and have steady girlfriends or even gotten married. Not much is really known about them. Some may well feel victimized and very angry about having intimate details of their sexual encounters with Owen publicized.

But one potential route it would seem that the thirteen men could take is to share with the world their experiences with Owen. They could use the internet, as she did, and maybe even use a PowerPoint presentation format akin to the one Owen used in "Excelling in the Realm of Horizontal Academics". Perhaps it could be called, "Excelling In a Horizontal Karen Owen". They could share with the world their opinions on Karen Owen's naked body and various body parts. They could share with their world how talented, or untalented depending on their experiences, Karen Owen is at certain sexual acts.

They could share with the world if they wanted to go back for more from Karen Owen and whether or not it was worth the trip across campus. Hypothetically speaking, perhaps some of them aspired to sleep with Karen Owen and had the opportunity and were thrilled. Perhaps some saw her as a last resort when they had no luck at a party and called her up. Perhaps some would only have sex with Karen Owen if they were desperate, lonely or sad. Or perhaps some actually loved Karen Owen, though they didn't realize she would soon sell them out to the world on a Power Point presentation.

Until one, some, or all of Karen Owen's sexual conquests starts talking, we won't know what it's really like to, well, Excel in Karen Owen. But my hunch would be that at least one of them will talk and we can all share vicariously the good and the bad about sex with this recent Duke graduate.

Source:

Zachary Tracer, "Sex List Draws Media to Duke", The Chronicle