Top Ten Reasons We Love Queen Elizabeth

Number 9. Thought it was funny when she put Ireland up for sale on Ebay.

Number 8. Has "a little something special" for Michael Vic "if that bloody bastard so much as sets one bloody foot over here!"

Number 7. Was only pissed off for a couple of hours when advisers told her she didn't, "really, actually, own " Canada.

Number 6. Grounded snotty grandson Prince Andrew for calling his £2million pound allowance, "chump change."

Number 5. Plans to give Prince Charles an autographed copy of her new book for his birthday, "Horse Race Handicapping for Dummies".

Number 4. Ranked 47 players ahead of Hillary Clinton at Poker.com.

Number 3. She's fun! Asks obnoxious members of Parliament to go to Iraq on fact-finding missions----just to see what they'll say.

Number 2. Slapped Elton John around and told him to, "act like a man".

And the Number 1 reason we love Queen Elizabeth ...... "Belly up to the bar mates, 'er Majestys got this round!!"