Views on Abortion from Close Observation of Women Who Choose Abortion

I spent several years as a volunteer councilor with Planned Parenthood advising women on their alternative choices instead of abortion. That is why in this essay instead of my personal view of abortion, I have decided to pass on what I had concluded society's view on abortion might be and how these views were formed based on my working with women who have chosen, or have contemplated choosing, abortion.

The thought of abortion doesn't suddenly spring up unaided from out of the blue. The seeds of abortion are sown early and cultivated by many hands. The seeds of abortion are the behaviors of individuals that are condoned by society that can ultimately lead to the act of abortion either directly or indirectly. *

Some have claimed "Lots of women don't really want to have an abortion, but feel compelled to do so by family, boyfriends, etc.". As a counselor in a Planned Parenthood Clinic I advised women on alternatives to abortion. While I can honestly say I have never seen a woman dragged kicking and screaming into an abortion clinic, I can as honestly say that only a few women were there without deep sorrow and regret for what they felt they had to do. And only a mere handful come to that decision on their own without the verbal or tacit urging of another.

An interestingly side issue: from my notes I was able to classify the small group of women who apparently had no qualms about choosing abortion. This is not to say that they did not have the urging of another, but that by the time they had arrived at the point where they felt the need of this drastic procedure they had already been conditioned well to the acceptance of abortion as just another medical procedure to "cure" them of an unwanted "growth" that had invaded their bodies. These women seemed to fall into three categories regardless of age and race: well dressed sophisticated career women or middle class homemakers, those who appeared almost bored with the entire procedure and were poorly dress indicating low incomes, and teen-aged girls who were simply frighten and to whom the baby had no reality. It seemed to me then by deduction that the level of education had much to do with the ease of acceptance of abortion. The better educated and the less educated appeared to share the same attitudes and from these disparate educational advantages still rationalize abortion as unrelated to morality. Whereas those of average education were more apt to see their actions in a moral light and although hey were determined to abort their child they did see the fetus as a child and the action as a "kind of murder" as one once told me. All but the teenagers to whom the baby had no reality, had been conditioned by their life experiences, relationships, religious beliefs and other influences prominent in social activities to accept or reject abortion. Conditioned by a village.

The morals of today are very much to blame for what the vast majority of people believe to be a morally and/or spiritually wrong action whether they accept or reject abortion. This appears to be an anomaly to me since they consciously understand abortion to be a morally wrong action and yet this same majority still accept and defend abortion.

The teachings of the churches have traditionally defined the people's moral values so it is with the churches that the first seeds are sown. The churches sow the seeds of acceptance or rejection of abortion in two ways: they speak out clearly on issues and behaviors deemed moral, or they ignored the issues and behaviors that are already taking place. On the issue of abortion the churches did the most harm by ignoring the behaviors that ultimately would lead to a woman choosing to abort her child. How many sermons about marriage before fornication have you heard since the "let it all hang out" 1970's to the "hooking up" 1990's to the wholesale "cohabiting" as a first choice 2000's? I personally have heard or read very few pastors addressing the issue of abstinence to any one other than perhaps teen girls. And this only recently (last 10 years or so).

The churches appear to give adults a pass on abstinence and to address only teenagers who are presumed to have fewer rational thoughts, more raging hormones and less experience than the adults they are trying to emulate. Adults do not have these restrictions placed on their behavior either explicitly or by default. In fact if modern TV, movies and music is a reflection of acceptable adult social interactions then it is assumed that active sexual behavior is expected between "consenting" adults even after a very short acquaintanceship. And yet this injunction to remain abstinent until marriage is a major tenet of the Bible, is it not? The Bible (or other holy book) that churches are charged with teaching and upholding as the way God meant for his children to conduct themselves.

Another culprit in the decay of morality especially in our lower classes are our social welfare agencies. New employees and volunteers are stringently coached to be non-judgmental in all cases when dealing with the public. When recommending prenatal services for pregnant women seeking government aid it is made clear that social service councilors DO NOT suggest to the pregnant females that they discuss future birth control like an IUD or tubal ligation with her doctor. One must never indicate in any way that women should seek birth control, or suggest that having a baby without the experience and wherewithal to support that child just might be a bit immoral as well as immature. In 1960 5.3% of births were out of wedlock. today 30% of births are out of wedlock. We have no figures for how many abortions are performed on unmarried women. The social welfare agencies have been especially harmful to the minorities in matters of morality. In 1960 24% of Black babies were born to unwed mothers and today that figure is 70%. Whites have fared no better with the figures being 1960 at 4% and today 27%. The Planned Parenthood councilors do advise women to seek birth control and advise on the various methods so future unwanted pregnancies will not happen and future abortions of unborn babies will not become a possibility.

Some governments are offering benefits for what is termed immoral behavior by the Bible but has become a common behavior in society therefore encouraging these behaviors. Among the benefits being offer to unmarried cohabiting couples is the health insurance coverage that has traditionally only been available to the immediate family of the employee. These are to couples in a heterosexual relationship I am referring to. The relationships that could lead to the decision to have an abortion.

Parents and boyfriends often urge women to get abortions. Parents (and future grandparents) because they too have been conditioned to accept abortion by society and do not want the possible responsibility to help raise an unwanted grandchild if their daughter is unable to do so.

Live-in male partners have not committed to a lasting relationship and so are just as likely to urge abortion in case of pregnancy as are casual boyfriends. Study after study has been done that show the detrimental effects cohabiting has on both adults and children and yet cohabiting has now become the norm and is accepted by society as a committed relationship almost as much as marriage. Fully 87% of the couples who marry after cohabiting for any length of time are divorced within two years of the marriage. This is far more than the ratios for couples who marry before setting up a household.

Low self-esteem and depression is a very real danger for cohabiting partners. This is especially so for females, but males also suffer, and the problems only increase as they go from partner to partner. Economic hardship is almost a given for the women as they commonly have lower paying jobs than men and fewer benefits so when the relationship ends, as it is overwhelmingly likely to do, they are left usually in more dire financial straits than when the relationship began.

Marriage on the other hand generally offers protections from economic disaster for the women and children if the relationship ends. There is also to be considered the protection for widows and orphans that the federal government and some unions offer that do not apply not matter how long the cohabiting relationship had lasted and how the children are related to the deceased unless he has acknowledged his parentage on their birth certificate. However even this acknowledgment is not as secure as legal marriage.

The greatest damage done by the wholesale trend away from marriage as a preferred relationship in my opinion is the known negative effects on children. Children studies have shown who do not have a male influence in their lives are more prone to misbehavior when young leading to out of control behavior such as gangs and juvenile crime in their teens and to prison as adults. It is known that children in a cohabiting home life do not bond with the "boyfriends". There are many reasons given for this but the main one is that children feel the relationship is temporary and resent and distrust the male partner. It is known that children of cohabiting partners are more likely to be abused in some fashion by the non-parent partner. It is estimated that up to 80% of children murdered by adults are in families where the adults are not married. These facts are known and understood and yet society continues to accept and even justify cohabiting rather than marriage and commitment even for adults with children thus putting these children in danger of if not abuse and death, or juvenile crime then more certainly they will grow up with an inability to commit or bond to another human being.

There is much more that I could relate of morally destructive behaviors that society has accepted or fostered that would lead to an acceptance of abortion and a possible choice of abortion, but this will I hope foster some thoughtful reflection of our beliefs and how they conform with our actual societal behaviors. Most of us see abortion as morally wrong and yet most of us accept abortion because of our conditioning by society.

* Please understand that in this essay I do not wish to judge behaviors. I am merely the messenger pointing them out. Also in most cases I am quoting actual studies that have been conducted to arrive at the stated conclusions. At those times when I offer my own observation or opinion I will inform the reader.