10 Fashion Trends that Are Fading Fast

It's a new year and that means it's time for a new look. Today we are going to look at some fashion trends that are on their way out. I am not looking at magazines, fashion runways, or fashion trend forecasting for this information. Instead, I am sharing with you the things that I have seen so much last few years, they have got to be on their way out. You may disagree, but I am telling you that the following items are already out of my closet and heading to a Goodwill near you this very weekend. Check locations near you if you want to pick these items up, because I swear fashionable women should be coming to their senses soon, and ten fashion fades are on their way out.

Top Ten Fading Fashion Trends:

1. The velour pantsuit. I mean the velour pants and the matching velour hoodie. Teachers, you know you have several of these in your closet and consider them dress clothes. I am going to go out on a limb and say all velour pants have to go. The hoodie can stay for another year or so, but that's it.

2. UGG Boots. Girls, UGG boots are great for camping. They are great if you live in the snow. That is it. Women all over California are wearing UGG boots - with shorts, skirts, swimsuits, you name it. Ugh boots are aptly named.

3. Spray tans and fake and bake. Orange skin was never in. It never will be. You look weird and you should stop it. Guys don't have a problem with pale skin. Only girls do.

4. High-waisted anything. High waisted clothes only look good on cartoon characters, like Mickey Mouse. Or Hobbes, of Calvin and Hobbes, when he was being cool and sporting his mickey mouse pants.

5. Harem pants. I should not even have to put this on the list. Every woman who bought these last year is a fool. Put them away until you start wearing Depends. Then they might be okay.

6. Large print plaid. Plaid was big in the eighties, but its remake into clothes for 2009 was a disaster. Plaids need to be small print to look good and show your figure. Large print plaids make you look like you are walking around in a rug or a bedspread.

7. Shoulder pads: always a fashion don't. No more to say on that.

8. Polyester shirts. If you don't know this, polyester is a petroleum product. If you have noticed this, polyester doesn't breathe and gives you body odor. Buy cotton clothing.

9. Gladiator flats. I have a few pairs of subtle gladiator heels, and I think they are the sexiest shoes of all time. The flats though, my goodness. Were you just auditioning for a play? They look awful on everyone.

10. Nails that look like claws. You may know this from my other articles, but I seem to have a things about nails. Fingernails. Toenails. They should be well-groomed. They should look clean. Polish is fine. No dinosaur claw fingers and toes. That's it. Do what you want with them, but then stand back and ask, does it look like a velociraptor just eviscerate something with these? Yes or no? Its an easy question ladies.

Okay, those are my ten worst fashion trends. I hereby proclaim that they are OUT. Fashion DON'T. DO NOT. May they rest in peace.