10 Funny Facebook Status Updates

Funny Facebook Status Updates for older people: Remembers the day when blackberry and apple were just fruit.

An idea for film buffs: I love how in scary movies the person yells out, "Hello?" As if the bad guy is gonna be like, "Yeah, I`m in the kitchen! Want a sandwich?"

Funny Facebook Status Updates for witty people: I won't take a bullet for anyone. Because if I have time to jump in front of a bullet, you have time to move.

Another idea for witty people: Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?

An idea for funny people: After many years of therapy my therapist finally said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."

Funny Facebook Updates for witty people: Statistically, 132 percent of all people exaggerate.

On vegetarians: I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Idea for married people: I married my wife for her looks. But not the ones she's been giving me lately!

Funny Facebook Status Updates on religion: I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Funny Facebook Updates from pop culture: Hello everyone. Look at your status, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isn't mine. But if you stopped posting about other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You're on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like.