10 Funny Ways to Maintain the Magic of Santa Claus

The visit to Santa's lap is a magical experience for kids, but for parents it can often be a nail biting, gut wrenching heartache; especially in the era of recession. Be encouraged! Just because your child isn't getting exactly what they want for Christmas certainly does not mean they have to let go of the magic of Santa Claus!

A puppy, horse, or the million dollar toy may not be under the tree but that doesn't mean we have to slander the good name of Santa! So, how do you do it? How do you maintain the magic without lying through your teeth? Here is a borderline realistic and (borderline) humorous list of responses for you to let your kid-down-easy because you KNOW what they asked for will never make it under the tree.

WARNING: This is not for children under the age of 14. In addition, was totally constructed to make you smile - one disappointing parent to another. Happy Holidays!

1. I talked to Santa and he said it wouldn't fit in the sleigh

2. I heard Elves don't make that. So, let's not waste a line item on your list! We have to come up with something else. Go get your list...

3. I wanted one of those too when I was a kid but I learned Santa often brings something TOTALLY different. In fact, for the BEST kids on the list, he never brings exactly what you ask for...but a surprise!

4. You can't expect to get anything you ask for after Thanksgiving because the orders are in.

5. When you get older, you will understand that there are rules to being Santa. One of those rules is that you can't bring an animal into a house when anyone in the house is allergic. Sadly, I am allergic to horse hair. I'm sorry I never brought this up before...

6. Santa called and wanted me to tell you those are actually made in China, not by elves. So, your dad and I would have to buy it...or your grandmother, my mother-n-law. I am telling you now, we didn't get that because we got you LOTS of great stuff already. I guess it's up to your grandmother. So, when she calls tomorrow...be sure to tell her that YOU KNOW the secret.

7. You know those "Santa Rules" I was telling you about...well, here's another one...Santa can't bring that to kids under the age of 10. One year, Santa actually broke the rule and the kid did not read the directions and died. Santa has never recovered. In life, I think you will learn that there is always someone ruining it for everyone.

8. Santa's on a budget this year too, surely you've heard about the economy.

9. Santa can't do anything that needs to be fed. If you're friends get something like this, you need to know that Santa didn't bring it...Suzy's parents did. So yes, Suzy's parents are liars.

10. There were A LOT more kids on the "nice list" this year. Since that list is alphabetized and your name is Zach...well...

BONUS: And the number one reason you aren't getting what you asked for is because Santa is saving to make sure Mrs. Claus and the elves aren't foreclosed on. This means, Santa is in a very precarious position of potentially losing the entire North Pole to the bank!

This is very serious and something only you and I know. So don't go talking to the other kids about foreclosure...or your teacher. But from me to you...times are tight. We need to be thoughtful of Santa big-time...or there will never ever be a Christmas with toys AGAIN!