10 Games to Play when Stuck in a Tree

Lets say you took the job as a notoriously tardy paperboy as a way to meet women(let's just say...). One day you incidentally step on the tail of one of your future girlfriend's angry, larger than average German Shepperd. You have 3 choices.

You can either A.) sacrifice a few extremities, while attempting to calm Sir Reginald Chompsalot down. B.) let out a loud, and very sissified scream to scare the mut, while at the same time voiding any possible hookups you could have gotten with this stupidly genius job. Or C.) Run up a tree and hope for the best.

If you picked anything other than C, you were destined to become Puppy Chow at some point in your life. I advise you to find the biggest dog you can right now, jump in his gullet and go to sleep. For everybody else, I have a few games for you to play that will help pass the time if you ever find your self in this unfortunate predicament. Some of these activities may even help you escape the bite range of the mongrel.

1. Drop leaves on the ground and try to form shapes with them. Geometric shapes are too easy, go for the advanced stuff like car silhouettes or something.

2. Yahoo! :Read a out a few memorable spam emails you remember from your Yahoo! Mail account. Nigerian letters will either enrage the beast, or bore him into submission.

3. Mind Over Mater: Make direct eye contact with the mongrel. Attempt to hypnotize it with a relaxed glare. When you have lulled it into a false sense of security, you telepathic energy to pick it up, and and place the dog on a nearby roof.

4. It's not you, it's...: Go over those cliche breakup lines and use them on the dog. Explain how space in very important to you. Also, try to make it understand the difference between loving someone and being in cove with someone.

5. Try doing a few bird calls. Who knows, you could be the real life verion of Dr. Do Little. If this tactic works, and the birds fly away with the trouble maker mutt, It might be a good idea to quit your day job and become a super hero. I heard the pay was crap, but heroes didn't have to pay for their meals.

6. Train Spotting: i doubt you'll be able to see any trains while stuck in any tree, so just talk smack to the dog by quoting that movie. "Armed robbery. With a replica. I mean, how the fuck can it be armed robbery with a fucking replica?" Try not to fall out of the tree while doing this one....

7. Maybe you're the living incarnation of Aquaman...call for the help of guppies and catfish.Tell 'em to find some sort of ramp in which to launch themselves off.

8. Make like MacGyver and create a tool to help you escape your troubling predicament. You can use Mentos, a leaf and three paperclips to make jet pack.

9. Count the number of children's toys on the roof of every house in the neighborhood.

10. Do an Aaron Neville impersonation to freak the dog out and make it run away.