10 Gift Registries You Never Need

Gift registries can be a convenient tool for large scale celebrations such as a wedding or a first child, but too many people use the ease of online registries as an excuse to shamelessly solicit gifts for minor occasions or events when requesting gifts is considered greedy and impolite. By understanding why certain events should not be associated with gift registries or the ubiquitous "wish lists" that many retailers promote, both gift givers and recipients can plan special occasions without etiquette faux pas.

What Is a Gift Registry

Before deciding whether or not you should have a gift registry, it is important to understand what a registry is. A gift registry or wish list is an itemized list of gifts the recipient chooses and marks for size, color, and quantity. The list is then made available to shoppers who can purchase those specific items for the recipient. In many cases, gifts purchased off a registry can be shipped directly to the recipient, making a registry an easy way to shop for someone whom you may not see often or who is some distance away.

Gift registries can be good, of course, and there are times when they are entirely appropriate. The two biggest occasions for gift registries - and by far the two that usurp the majority of gift registry use - are weddings and baby showers. Each of these events is cause for celebration, of which giving gifts is a traditional part. Furthermore, both a wedding and a new baby mark an individual's transition into a completely new stage of life, one they may not be prepared for in terms of material goods. Because of this, registries have evolved to allow individuals to purchase gifts for these celebrations by choosing from lists of requested items that can help the newlyweds or new parents become equipped for their new roles.

Unfortunately, many retailers have expanded their selections of gift registries to include many different occasions when gifts are traditionally given, convincing materialistic consumers that such lists are proper and convenient whenever gifts are anticipated, even if no gifts are required or the situation does not require large scale gift giving.

Gift Registries You Should Not Have

The top 10 gift registries you should neither create nor buy from include...

1. Second Weddings

It is certainly acceptable for a couple to celebrate finding new love and a new relationship even if they've been married before. Filling out a gift registry for a second wedding, however, is inappropriate because the individuals getting married have already built households - albeit with different spouses - and should already have the necessities of married life such as towels, small appliances, and dishes. To use a second wedding as an opportunity to "upgrade" items is ostentatious, and creating wedding registries for items other than household necessities (a hobby registry, for example, or a cash registry) makes the celebration look like nothing more than a gift grab. The single exception to this, however, is if the wedding is still a first wedding for either the bride or groom; in that case, a small, discreet registry is perfectly permissible.

2. Bridal Shower

While the purpose of a bridal shower is indeed to "shower" the bride with gifts for her wedding and married life, creating a unique gift registry just for the bridal shower is unacceptable. By the time the bridal shower is planned, the couple should already have completed their wedding registries and shower guests can select gifts from those lists. If the shower is to be themed, gift suggestions should be spread by word of mouth through the invitations and shower organizers rather than through additional registries.

3. Engagement Party

Couples who celebrate their engagement with a party may indeed receive some gifts to commemorate the occasion, but those gifts should not be from a registry. The proper time to hold an engagement party is just after the couple announces the change in their relationship, which presumably would be well before the wedding date and before any gift registries are created. Furthermore, gifts are not required for an engagement party, and creating a specialized engagement registry is in poor taste.

4. Bachelor/Bachelorette Party

Yet another wedding celebration, the bachelor or bachelorette party is not a gift-giving occasion. One or two gifts might be presented to the honoree, though those are typically group gifts from the bridesmaids or groomsmen and should either be chosen from the group or selected off the wedding registry. Special bachelor or bachelorette party registries are especially presumptuous because the guest lists for these events are small and usually only include members of the bridal party and very close friends, all of whom may already be purchasing gifts for the bridal shower and wedding, not to mention their own travel and attire costs for the wedding itself.

5. Wedding Anniversary

A wedding anniversary should be a private, subdued celebration between a couple commemorating another year of wedded bliss. Even if a party if planned and the anniversary is a significant one - the couple's 25th anniversary, for example - no registry should be created. Presumably the couple has been able to successfully establish their household for many years, and registry-type gifts are not required and should not be expected. While gifts can certainly be given to celebrate a couple's wedding anniversary, they should be carefully selected items that relate to the couple and their relationship with the giver rather than anonymous items from an expectant gift registry.

6. Multiple Children

Many soon-to-be new parents create gift registries for baby showers and eager grandparents willing to buy gifts, and doing so for a first child is just fine. After that first child, however, the parents should be far more knowledgeable and equipped for additional new arrivals, and gift registries for additional children are unacceptable. The only exception may be for an unexpected child several years after the first child was born when old baby gear has been long disposed of, those even those circumstances do not always justify another baby registry.

7. Birthday

While gifts are a traditional part of a birthday party, creating a birthday registry for any age is presumptuous. Ideally, the guests invited to a birthday party should be close friends and relatives who would well know the interests and hobbies of the honoree, making a registry unnecessary. This offense is even worse, however, if the birthday registry is made and no party is planned - there can be no more blatant example of a gift grab.

8. Graduation

While a graduation is a cause for celebration, whether it is a college or high school event, it is not a cause for a gift registry. The close friends and family members who would give gifts on this occasion will know what is appropriate - dorm items, career-themed gifts, etc. - without a registry, and to create one simply shows an attitude of greed and immaturity inconsistent with this milestone event.

9. Back to School

One of the most heinous examples of retailer-driven registries are back to school wish lists. Theoretically, this gives friends and family members the easy opportunity to "help out" with school supplies and other educational expenses, but by creating a wish list for this type of annual occurrence simply shows a lack of education. Parents of young students should be well prepared to purchase the necessary clothing and supplies for their children to return to school each fall, and college students should have enough money of their own - either through wages, savings, scholarships, grants, or loans - to afford their own educational expenses without begging through a registry.

10. Holidays

In an effort to not leave out any gift-giving occasion, many stores now offer a choice of holiday wish lists that may include Christmas, Hanukkah, and Easter. While gifts are indeed exchanged for many of these holidays, special occasions such as this should be focused on sharing time with family members and friends rather than on materialistic calculating of goods desired and received. If asked, an individual can offer a few suggestions for gifts they'd like, but to create holiday registries and itemized wish lists amounts to demanding gifts for every occasion.

In a society where materialism is out of control and frugality should be practiced with increasing devotion, excessive wish lists and gift registries are only convenient for one thing: showing your lack of respect and appreciation for the kind thoughts and well wishes of friends and relatives unless those thoughts and wishes are expressed with dollar signs.