10 Must Ask Pre Marriage Questions

It is easy to get caught up in the romantic idea of marriage. Too often we think we will be swept off our feet, have the wedding of our dreams, possibly buy a home, maybe have children, and live happily ever after.

Rarely do couples think how will we handle unemployment? Who will take the trash out? Who's family will we see on the holidays? What will we do if we can't have kids? Even more alarmingly, many couples aren't even aware of basic information about each other: credit scores, criminal background records, health problems, the other person's middle name.

To ensure a happy and lasting marriage, it is crucial for couples who are interested in marrying to understand why they are getting married, what they expect of their marriage, and how they will work through the inevitable ups and downs of life that will test their commitment to each other. While several churches and other organizations offer pre-marital counseling to help couples understand if they have what it takes to survive marriage, many people are hesitant to do this because of the cost or it makes them feel uneasy or awkward.

If counseling is not your style, these must-ask-questions are a great way to get started before you get swept away in the planning of your wedding:

1. What are my partner's likes and dislikes? How do these relate to my likes and dislikes?
2. What spiritual/political beliefs does my partner have? How do these relate to my own? What differences in customs or opinions might we face because of these beliefs?
3. What is my partner's credit score? Has my partner ever been convicted of a crime? What jobs has my partner held? What education has my partner received?
4. Do I or my partner or any of our immediate family members have any medical conditions, illnesses, disabilities or other special needs? How might this affect our life together?
5. What life goals for career, family, or other personal success do my partner and I share? What goals are different? How will we work through these differences? How will we help each other reach our goals?
6. How will my partner and I manage our finances? Who will be the provider? What will we do in the event of loss of income? Is a pre-nuptial agreement necessary? How will we pay our bills, manage accounts, set aside savings, and handle large purchases
7. How will we settle disagreements and differences of opinions? What is our fighting style? How do we resolve problems?
8. How will handle each other's families and friends? What Holiday customs will we need to honor? What boundaries will be set?
9. What will we do to keep our marriage thriving? What will we do in the case that one of us feels the relationship is stale or strained? Will we agree to go to counseling if we ever decide one day to not be married to each other?
10. What are the three most important things to us in marriage? What are our expectations of marriage to be like?

These questions aren't meant to scare you or make you doubt the love you have for your partner. There are no right or wrong answers. Answering these questions with your partner will help you be more prepared and more likely to succeed in your marriage together so you may hopefully enjoy a long lifetime of love together. By being open with each other and discussing these issues before they come up, you will have a better understanding when problems arise and solid foundation to fall back on through the years.