10 Netiquette Basics

These are the lessons I have learned firsthand since starting to write for the internet in January of 2007. But these rules apply to everyone, not just writers and message board cowboys. It gets ugly out there, and I often have the nerve to be surprised by what a strange, emotionally charged world the internet can be, it's like the literary wild west.

Follow these basics and you can keep yourself from wasting time and precious mental energy on petty arguments, internet stress, and needless worry.

1.) Do not make DEMANDS of people, such as comments, comment reciprocation, ratings, etc. This is very off-putting behavior. Nobody owes you anything, remember that. Don't you want feedback that comes from a genuine place, instead of just pressuring someone into saying something generic?

2.) Conversely, do be supportive when you can. While it will be IMPOSSIBLE to encourage everyone simultaneously, you can do your best to read others articles, comment, and/or rate when you GENUINELY want to or have something legitimate to say. (Notice that the key is to be real with people, nobody likes a faker, and people can usually smell a phony from a mile away. Don't feel pressured to people-please. In fact, don't succumb to any pressure at all.)

3.) Be responsible for yourself, you chose to be/write on the internet, nobody is responsible for your success/failure/happiness but you.

4.) NO WHINING, if you have something to say, do it with dignity, confidence, maturity, and controlled anger or emotion. It's important to use your voice to speak out, but writing that sounds like whining is ineffective and is overlooked quickly.

5.) Be PATIENT and POLITE. This shouldn't need any explanation. And remember this, the internet has NO INFLECTION. So it's very easy to be misinterpreted. Take extra time to communicate clearly and exactly what you mean to say, and don't immediately start a fight if you feel misunderstood. Just because communication is easier and faster today, doesn't mean everyone knows how to communicate WELL.

6.) Fight Fair. This is an aspect of politeness, and arguments and disagreements are to be expected. But don't resort to name-calling or personal attacks. It only makes YOU look bad. Take the time to have a rea discussion, and you'll actually get somewhere instead of just getting an adrenaline fix. There's nothing quite like a good debate! But nothing feels worse than mud-slinging...you'll hate yourself for it.

7.) If you make a social faux pas, apologize. Nobody is perfect all the time, if you make a mistake because you didn't know any better, just go ahead and admit it. Writing on the internet means that your audience is now as big as the world, and maybe you said something genuinely offensive and didn't realize it. At least consider that as an option. Just be honest about this, and thank the person who called you out for educating you. Contrary to popular opinion, it's a GOOD thing to be sensitive to different cultures and people's feelings. (And no, not overly sensitive, I'm not encouraging liberal fascism... so don't even go there. That's an entirely different matter.)

8.) Don't take it personal. People will say mean things to you. You'll live. Don't let it bother you. Bullies are everywhere, especially the internet. Also, are you sure they meant to be mean? Analyze carefully, and double check before fighting back, reporting, or deleting someone.

9.) Don't assume that someone is ignoring you. People are busy.

10.) If the internet is bothering you, DISCONNECT. If you notice that you start to feel highly emotional or irrationally angry toward people you have never met, you may NEED A BREAK. People today are practically matrix-ed (Yes, I made that up...haha!) to their computers, cell phones, etc. What we need to do is LIGHTEN UP and get involved in our real-life communities as well as being involved on the internet. Don't forget, real life is out there waiting for you too. You've heard of road rage, well the same thing can happen on the internet sometimes.