10 Reasons You Should NOT Be a Swinger
Swinging Isn't for Everyone
1. You have a sexually transmitted disease. I shouldn't have to say this but if you are currently infected with HIV, Aids, herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, crabs or any other form of a sexually transmitted disease you should not attempt to become a swinger. Swinger groups are very tight knit and eventually someone will ask you if you are STD free.
2. You are looking to cheat on a partner, spouse or significant other. This is never reason to start swinging. If you are married and anyone in the swinging community finds out that you are using swinging to cheat you will be black balled from all parties and events.
3. You are trying to get back at a partner, spouse or significant other for cheating on you. Again this is not a good way to get into swinging. What would happen if you decided to forgive this person and then had to explain your own cheating. What if you were wrong about the whole thing to begin with? Swingers don't like to be used any more than anyone else and playing with another couple for the sake of revenge is just using them.
4. You want to convince your wife to do another woman. This has become such a common occurrence that many swinger's groups and parties prohibit men without partners. No matter what you say or do if your wife does not want to have a sexual encounter with another woman or couple, swinging with other people is not going to convince her. Almost every single experienced swinger can tell you stories about people they've met trying to do just this. It never works and it never will. Rent some porn.
5. You are tired of your partner. Everyone gets tired of their partner from time to time. This is not a valid reason for swinging. Swinging is meant to enhance marriages not tear them further apart. If you are both tired of your sex life and are open to having sex with others then by all means give it a try but do your homework first. No swinger wants to get down and dirty with a couple who are going to freak out halfway through and realize they made a mistake.
6. You are trying to "keep" your partner. Swinging will not make your partner stay faithful to you. If you are agreeing to swinging because you think you'll be able to keep your eye on your man/woman and make them happy at the same time, think again. This usually ends in disaster with one or both people in the relationship jealous and resentful. Besides if he or she is determined to cheat on you they are going to find another way to do it without you there.
7. You think your partner is fat, old, ugly, etc. It doesn't matter. That's just hurtful and won't get you anywhere in swinger circles. Get counseling and get over it or get out of it.
8. You are curious about seeing other people have sex. Rent a porn movie for Christ sake. While most swingers enjoy voyeurism many don't want to hook up with another couple just so they can satisfy some lame curiosity.
9. You just want to please your partner. Never go along with swinging just because someone else wants you to. Swinging is a personal decision that has to be made by every individual, individually. Just as a couple needs to decide to swing together, every person has to decide for themselves if swinging is right for them.
10. You think it's an easy way to get laid. You are sadly mistaken. Just because swingers like to have sex with other people doesn't mean they are having sex with everyone they come across. In fact swingers tend to have dating rituals they go through to determine if another person or couple is right for them. They usually have certain criteria you must meet and a pre-planned way of avoiding you if you don't hit the bull's eye.
There you have it, ten good reasons you should leave the swinging to the real swingers. Please do not attempt to use any of these excuses on experienced swingers especially if you really think you may some day actually become a swinger. Your reputation may precede you.
Published by Kelly Spies
I'm just a chick with a lot to say about different things. I've been writing for most of my life and aspire to someday be a published novelist as well as content writer. View profile
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18 Comments
Post a CommentGood article. I am very curious about swinging and would seriously consider entering into the lifestyle if it were an interest my wife had also. I haven't really broached the subject with her yet; but I think if you have a strong relatioship, high sex drive and establish some ground rules there is no reason swinging couldn't be a fun hobby to have!
Swinging ruined my marriage of twelve years. I was happy and thought swinging would make us even happier. All it did was create anger, jealousies, and ultimately a divorce. Today is my first Christmas without her in 12 years and I don't feel like living. Anyone thinking of swinging PLEASE DON'T DO IT.
we became close friends with our neibors are kids go to school together. They want to swing and we dont and their not getting it. I still want to be friends with them but they keep trying to come on to us and its making us uncomfortable.
This article is accurate. While our screening process is not perfect, we do strive to keep out cheaters and unwelcome people. Swinger lifestyle is not for everyone, but only mature and secure adults who understand there is more to love and relationships that is often constrained by sexual inhibition and petty jealousy.
We have separate events that cater to different crowds. If you were trying to convince your significant other to explore their sexuality, they must be fully aware and open to the possibility. You can't just take them to a sex party and expect everything to go smoothly. For these cases we recommend taking it slow, perhaps by attending a meet & greet where we invite swingers and curious couples out to enjoy a local night life spot. This way you can connect with like minded couples and singles in a neutral/no pressure environment, allowing for comfortable exploration. Check us out! EroticSwingerNY.org
I just found out that my housban is swinger, i cacth him after he try to pun my into that ugly life 3 time i dind't know about, he is been in this life for 7 years. This her me a lot i am moving away from him. He is on SDC.Com Latinlove16
Actually we feel if conducted mutually your in a stable relationship with no hang ups and both have a high sex drive then swinging could be the answer to exploring a variety of sexual fantasies such as threesomes, foursomes, swapping, voyeurism, group and bisexual experiences.
Be sure to discuss what you would both like to try, agree on who you will meet and wont meet, such as couples and or singles and chose your play partners carefully.
Some good advice here
http://www.swingersbloguk.com/should-I-or-we-start-swinging.php
As a swinger, and the editor of Swing! Adventures in Swinging by Today's Top Erotica Writers (SwingAnthology.com) I agree with most of what you've said. I do take issue with this point:
"You are curious about seeing other people have sex. Rent a porn movie for Christ sake. While most swingers enjoy voyeurism many don't want to hook up with another couple just so they can satisfy some lame curiosity."
Voyeurism is a perfectly acceptable thing to do in many swing clubs. Many couples go to swing clubs just to watch other people have sex - then they have sex with each other. The voyeurism spices up their sex lives. There's nothing wrong with this. People like me who love to entertain those who like to watch, really find nothing wrong with it. LOL
There are many ways to enjoy sex. Let's be gentle with those who just want to watch. There are places for that, too.
Jolie du Pre
My husband would like me to do this as well. I guess it is fun to think about sex with another women. I can't make it real. I would never be able to be with the cheating snake again.
To see my wife having sex with another was the fantasy I often indulged in. I mentioned it to her on some occasions. She seemed to be enjoying the idea but each time I did so, my excitement rose to the apex and I ejaculated.
My wife perhaps toyed with the idea and she took up a lover without my knowledge. I being her husband was the last one to know. I learned about it 3 years later. In these 3 years, he might have poured tons of semen into her vagina. He might have enjoyed her in numerous positions.
I did notice that my wife in bed was no longer enthusiastic as before. It seemed she no longer enjoyed sex with me. She mostly lay there as if she was a piece of dead wood while I wriggled between her loins in ecstasy. I knew that her lover too had been wriggling in the same spot and both might have enjoyed more than I did.
Then one afternoon, I came back from work to find them both sleeping in the same bed. They were not naked. They were not even holding each other. However, f
My husband wants me to have a girlfriend toy for us. While I do find the idea sexually arousing I also find it insulting and hypocritical at the same time. I asked him - "Well why not a boy toy for me - would that bother you?" and he said "Yes"
I have also caught him talking to ex girlfirends behind my back - so the trust and loyalty are definately lacking. And there is STD's and pregnancy to worry about. If my husband accidentally impregnated another woman - that would be the end all. I would be livid to say the least. I am always thinking about divorce because I have probed his mind and it is more than just a fantasy and in my heart I know he is willing to cheat on me. Soul mates - what a crock.
And if we did ever have an encounter with a "girlfriend" - to me it would be like giving me permission to be with another man.