10 Reasons Why Being Single is Awesome

You come home from work and find a note from your girlfriend. She left, and she's not coming back. Congratulations! You lucky bitch, welcome to the good life! Enjoy pursuing your own interests, growing your bank account, developing friendships, and anything else that you want to do!

1. Freedom.
Go anywhere. Do anything. The world is your oyster. If you want to move to Quebec and work in a coffee shop, move to Quebec. There's no 'ball n' chain' holding you down. Want to become a world class Kung Fu expert? Do it. Move to China and study with Shaolin monks. Take up bird watching. Drive to Mexico and become a drug mule. Knit yourself some winter time mittens. Pursue anything that intrigues you.

2. Casual Sex.
Just because you're single doesn't mean you aren't getting laid. Any beautiful woman you see could be lying in your bed panting after hours of steamy casual sex. That cutie at the grocery store that gives you those suggestive eyes might be handling your produce by the end of the night. Not so much the case in a relationship, unless it has an infidelity cream filling.

3. You have your own social identity.
In a relationship there is no more 'You'. There is 'We'. You and your loved one have been socially merged. People say, "When are Reese and Sarah getting here?" It's never just Reese or just Sarah. There is no Reese. There is no Sarah. There is Reese and Sarah.

If only it stopped there. You don't even try to hang on to your individually in a relationship. 'We' say things like "We haven't seen that movie yet", or "We don't like that restaurant". You don't have an opinion, but 'We' do.

When single, you are you. No bullshit. No other people's opinions. You have seen that movie. You love that restaurant. Your friends refer to you as a single entity, "Reese is on his way". That's all it is.

4. You can have friends.
There are rare exceptions where a man in a long term relationship will still hang out with his single friends. However, usually when you go into serious status friends go out the window. If a man in a long-term relationship somehow convince his 'loved one' to let him go to poker night, there's always a curfew or clause, "No drinking, and be home by one!" Good luck having fun with the guys now. Get ready to hear the whipped sound every fifteen minutes.

Being single, anyone and everyone is your best friend. If you meet a homeless man on the street that strikes your interest, you can spend the day riding roller coasters at Six Flags with him. You can go to Adams house and play video games for three days. Without bathing. When you come home it's no big deal. There's no fight waiting for you.

5. You are perfect.
There is nobody pointing out your flaws. In your own mind you are an Adonis. A gleaming pillar of perfection. Everything that you do is done right. Any thought you have is completely natural, and not the least bit creepy or inappropriate.

When in a relationship, there is nagging. There is whining. There are 'conversations'. Coming home and hearing 'we need to talk' either means you're running errands or you need to change something about yourself.

6. You don't have to listen to anyone.
Women talk. A lot. Being in a relationships means you need to learn how to listen. Sure, people talk to you when you're single too. The main difference is the lack of obligation to the conversation. If a single guy gets trapped in a long conversation with anyone, they can easily escape. 'Hey I need to get going; I have to meet Carl at the shooting range'. Easy as that. Try saying that in a relationship...

In a relationship, you have to care about everything the other person thinks is wrong. Any complaints that they have you better promptly acknowledge and agree. She will talk all night long about what bugs her and pisses her off. God help you if you forget one of them and accidentally do something that she already said bugged her. You'll never hear the end of it, you insensitive prick.

7. You're on time.
The average man takes five minutes to get ready for any situation. Friend's house? Done. Fancy restaurant? Done. Wedding? Done. The average woman takes anywhere from 45 minutes to 3 hours to get ready. If she knows you have to be at said location at 7:00, you'll be there at 8:32.

8. Nobody gets hurt.
Very few relationships end in marriage. Ask your married friends or family how many people they dated before they met their spouse. It's at least fifteen. Possibly under ten if they're religious. If we take this as an average, this means that one in fifteen relationships will end with someone getting hurt. Someone's heart will be broken. Married people will tell you that it's all worth it because of the one that ends in marriage. I ask them, is that such a good thing?

As a single guy the biggest heartbreak you'll experience is when Burger King is out of French fries. Even then, there's another Burger King right down the street with fresh hot French fries! Delicious and Satisfying!

9. You have money.
Dating has its price. You pay for everything, hands down. Once you get serious, the girl might start buying you dinner. This seems nice until you realize that you've gotten so serious that you just spent $3,000 on rugs. You know you don't need rugs. Carpet doesn't need another layer of carpet over it. Unfortunately, its' no longer your decision. You wish you could go back to when you were free. Being single allows you to keep all the money you earn. Instead of rugs, you buy a 50" Plasma HDTV. Instead of dinner and a movie, you buy a video game that'll take you 50+ hours to beat.

10. You may indulge, change, and grow.
The definition of indulge is 'to yield to an inclination or desire; allow oneself to follow one's will.' Being single makes 'following one's will' a piece of cake. Let's say you discover a newfound interest in archery. You may allocate as much time as possible to shooting, reading about and overall enjoying archery. You can join an archery team, make archery friends, and do archery things. In a relationship, you have a free thirty minute block of personal time every day. Spend yours wisely.

It's difficult to change any aspect of your personality in your relationship. If something seems slightly amiss, you'll be berated by 'Are you ok?', 'How are you doing?', and of course 'Are you mad at me?'

Be single and you can be anything. You can be suave and slick. You can be arrogant and mean. You can be a stereotypical sports jock. You can be emo and hate life. The options are infinite. Your personality is whatever you make it.

The only downside is that you are entirely emotionally alone.