10 Reasons Why Danny Bonaduce is a Loser

After watching the video of Danny Bonaduce injuring Johnny Fairplay during a Fox reality award show, I couldn't help but think how Bonaduce is such a loser. It's just the first of 10 reasons why Danny Bonaduce is a loser. If you haven't seen it, you can watch the video here. The incident started when Fairplay questioned why the audience was booing him. The always in need of attention Bonaduce came on stage to explain "they're booing because they hate you". As Bonaduce was leaving the stage, Fairplay ran and jumped on Bonaduce as part of his "monkey hump" shtick. After a few awkward seconds, Bonaduce hurls Fairplay over his shoulders. Fairplay does a face plant and then quickly leaves the stage holding his face; obviously hurt.

01 Many have applauded Bonaduce for feeding Fairplay his karmic dessert. But I think anyone who makes Johnny Fairplay, the Survivor contestant known for shamelessly lying about his Grandmother dying, look worthy of sympathy has to be loser.

I felt bad for the guy. It was pathetic enough when Fairplay was being booed by a bunch of other loser reality stars. I mean, seriously, can you imagine your life when you are being booed by the cast of the Surreal Life? But in between the thud and running off stage, Johnny Fairplay became very human to me. And Danny Bonaduce became a complete loser as he just shrugged the whole thing off.

Had Johnny Fairplay's ego just been hurt, I might think he deserved being tossed too. Getting tossed can happen when you "monkey hump" people. And I hope after getting his teeth rearranged, Fairplay will retire that act so I never have to utter "monkey hump" again. But did he really deserve the free dental work? I don't think so.

Legally, Danny Bonaduce hurling a monkey humping Fairplay falls under self defense. But Bonaduce is still a loser for acting as if Fairplay's pathetic attempt for a laugh was an attack worthy of serious injury.

02 Classic loser moment: Being arrested for beating up a transvestite prostitute.

According to Bonaduce, he didn't realize the prostitute was a man until he got into the car. The prostitute got into the car with the expectation s/he'd be paid and demanded the forty bucks regardless of Bonaduce changing his mind. Bonaduce pulled the prostitute out of the car and essentially beat the prostitute up before the prostitute could beat him up.

People shouldn't have to pay for something they don't receive. But if Danny Bonaduce is dumb enough to proposition a man, he should have just given him the forty dollars. He is already a loser for using a prostitute; why become an even bigger loser by assaulting a transvestite prostitute in an unfair fight?

03 Beating up prostitutes, out of shape DJs, and wimpy reality stars, is not badass. It's weak. And unless you are being paid John Cena's salary, participating in fake fights to make you seem tough just makes you seem like a bigger loser.

If that isn't enough reason why Danny Bonaduce is a loser, see this video Danny Bonaduce Bites Local DJ. Even in fake fights, Bonaduce still cannot resist using wussy loser tactics.

04 Not all reality stars are losers. Some reality stars ended up on my list of breakthrough performances and plenty of other reality show rejects are worth remembering. But with rare exceptions, washed up actors who transition from hit TV shows to lame attention-seeking reality show generally fit the loser mold.

05 Danny Bonaduce spends way too much time shirtless. Only losers think the world is impressed by their steroid use.

06 The only positive thing I can say about Danny Bonaduce is that he does not support 9-11 conspiracy theories. But he falls back into loser territory with comments like this: "if anyone had a rope thick enough, I think Rosie should be strung up for treason" (referring to Rosie O'Donnell's belief in 9-11 conspiracy theories as she expressed on The View).

Calling for the death of conspiracy theorists, even Rosie O, is nutty. And adults who demean others based on issues of weight are losers; especially when the comment is coming from someone with their own addictions and disorders.

07 Danny Bonaduce is associated with one of the few professions where getting paid doesn't negate loser status. And surprisingly enough I am not actually referring to reality TV; but instead, to Bonaduce becoming a radio personality and Adam Corolla's sidekick. This video here is what happens when two loser radio personalities get together.

08 Biggest loser moment: Danny Bonaduce cheating on his wife.

09 Danny discovers his blind date Gretchen doesn't believe in pre-marital sex. What's a sex addict to do? Marry her of course.

I'll give him credit for trying to make the marriage work, but getting married to a stranger in order to have sex sounds like something off a failed sitcom.

10 Danny Bonaduce has previously stated he's pleased with his anger. He thinks it gives him more personality.

I guess that's the kind of mentality you get after growing up on television. Too bad the 48 year old father of two doesn't know that growing up doesn't have to be boring. Or understand how his anger plays into the 10 reasons why Danny Bonaduce is a loser.

For a different take on Danny Bonaduce, check out Superdork's article Danny Bonaduce - Intrigue, Passion and Controversy (here).