10 Steps: How to Parent Tweens

The tweens. Pre-teens. They're in-between. They are no longer little kids. In fact they despise being called kids. They are not yet teenagers though. They are much more like kids than they are teens. Here are ten tips on how to parent preteens, also commonly know as tweens.

1. The first tip that will help you to parents this age group is to learn to understand them. Complicated, they are. The best way to get them to respect you and listen to you is to be understanding of the points they are trying to make. Tweens are expressive. They are also quite moody at times, bouncing back and forth between independence and need. They are children trying to be like teens. It's a step they must take to become teens, then adults. Teens are tweens at heart trying to be adults. Understanding your young one is the first step to getting along with them, and to parenting them they way they need to be parented.

2. The second tip, or step, is to listen. Let them tell you everything. When you listen when they speak it will make them want to talk to you. It is very important to keep the lines of communication open. You need you child to tell you what's been going on at school, with their friends, etc. You need them to feel comfortable enough talking to you that they will come to you when something is wrong.

3. The third tip that will help you to parent this age group is to talk to them. Tell them often, if not at least weekly, that they can always talk to you. Let them know that you always love to hear what they have to say. Tell them that you like hearing about their schoolwork, friends, and thoughts. It is especially important to talk to them when their behavior is less than satisfactory.

4. The fourth tip regards discipline. Once again, communication is key. When the behavior and attitude take a turn for the worse communication is what will prevent a fight. Always ask why. There is always a reason when it comes to ten through twelve year olds. They'll be happy as can be until that reason comes and disturbs them. Children never act without purpose. They are generally always upset about something whether it be that they can't do what they want or they have to do something they don't want to do. When you reach a situation like that the only thing that will save you a fight is to communicate. An understanding must be reached. The young one needs to know where you stand and also you need to be able to see where they are coming from too. Communicating the reasons why in a calm way, and doing so consistently can save you a lot of trouble.

5. The fifth tip is this: Never give in. Tying in with discipline, giving in is the number one mistake to make with a tween. Once you give in one time they will expect you to give in each time. They will increase the demands, tantrums, comments, etc. each and every time even if you only give in once or twice. They will then try to get you to give in in other aspects. Never give in. When you have said no keep it a no. When you have asked them to do something don't let them off the hook. Giving in makes them have less respect for what you say, and for rules.

6. The six tip on parenting tweens is know that they still need mom and dad. They are still kids. They don't think so but they actually are still little kids. A ten to twelve year old is in no way comparable to a teenager or an adult. They think they are though. We know they're not. My ten year olds think they are much older than they are. They've never been adults but somehow they seem to think they know all there is about being an adult. Adorable and so independent they are, but they are still so young yet, so childlike. They still need kisses, and love to be read to. They still need to know how much we love them and that they are our special boys. Just because children want to be independent and want to know and do it all does not mean that they don't need to be loved like little kids. They still are inside, in their hearts.

7. The seventh tip on parenting ages ten to twelve is to let them be independent and make good mature decisions. They want to do it themselves, and act older, so offer them safe choices they can make for themselves. Give them the choice to open a savings account. Give them chores and let them earn an allowance. Let them choose the clothes they wear and the hairstyle they want. Approve them so long as they are approvable. Always correct bad choices by offering other options. This makes them ready to make the tougher choices they will need to make in the future. It lets them be a little more mature and responsible and helps them to make good life decisions.

8. The eighth tip on parenting tweens is to compliment them. Praise them when they are doing good and they won't do bad. It is really as simple as that. When they get positive attention for making good choices, acting responsibly, and being independent they will want to do so. When they don't get the positive attention they will act out.

9. The ninth tip is to keep rules firm. The household rules, the school rules, the law. Set a good example by following the rules and verbally express an important of doing so to your children regularly. Kids need to have a good strong respect for the rules. This prevent rebellion as they get older. No one wants a rebellious teenager.

10. The tenth tip on parenting tweens is to still supervise them. Many tweens are very capable of doing things on their own. That doesn't mean that they should be allowed to though. Parents still need to supervise. These tweens are still kids. They are no ready to be left alone, or to go to the store on their own. Accidents and kidnappings happen when parents aren't looking. Make sure your watching closely to prevent them. Thanks for reading and take care!