10 Things to Avoid Doing at Funerals

In a perfect world, every funeral service would be a beautiful celebration of a life well lived. Unfortunately, this world is far from perfect. Some funerals are more like soap operas or comedy sitcoms than they are anything else. What should be a meaningful homegoing celebration can easily turn into a pitiful display of buffoonery.

In case you know of anyone who is planning to "act out" at an upcoming funeral or just doesn't have sense enough to follow basic funeral etiquette, you may want to share with them this list of activities that are best avoided at funerals:

1. Trying to reconnect with a former love or get a new one. Even if you are not biologically or emotionally connected to the deceased, it's in poor taste to try to establish a romantic connection at a funeral. Don't try to seduce anyone in another pew with your eyes, or give unusually long hugs to grieving persons under the guise of offering comfort. Many people are indeed vulnerable at funerals, but it's a bad idea to view that as a window of opportunity for romance.

2. Bopping your head or humming to music that's being broadcast over your cranial airwaves. Some people try to mentally prepare for a funeral by playing soft, soothing music on the ride to the funeral home. If however you were listening to your favorite upbeat dance tunes on the ride over, be careful not to bop your head or hum along to any music that's lingering in your mind.

3. Falling down - or out. Of course, accidents can and do occur, but short of an innocent trip or slip down the aisle, it's best to avoid being overly dramatic at a funeral. Remember, the focus should be on the departed, not on the living. The more you draw attention to yourself during a funeral service, the less you will be honoring the deceased.

4. Leaning on the casket. Most caskets are pretty sturdy, I would guess, but avoid leaning on the casket at any time before or during the funeral service. This is an insensitive act that could have catastrophic consequences if by chance the casket is not as sturdy as you thought.

5. Initiating or joining in an altercation. No yelling, name calling, spitting, clawing, fighting or shooting should take place at the funeral. Jilted lovers, angry relatives and people whom the deceased owed money to should be barred from the funeral home.

6. Taking a snooze. Due to health reasons, some people are prone to nodding off at random times. Elderly people and young children can usually get away with this, but if you do not fall into either of these categories, make sure that you remain alert throughout the funeral service, no matter how long the service many be. And if at all possible, avoid taking sleep-inducing medications until after the service has ended.

7. Taking pictures without first getting permission from those dear to the deceased. Yes, some people do take pictures at funerals, but when this happens, it is usually done by a close family member or friend. If you are a colleague or casual acquaintance, or if you happen to be an amateur photographer looking to diversify your portfolio, please avoid taking pictures at funerals unless asked or invited to do so by one who was close to the departed.

8. Munching on snacks. No one wants to have hunger pains during a funeral, which is why it's best to eat beforehand if you cannot wait until the repast that follows the service. Even eating a candy bar or small bag of potato chips is in poor taste during a funeral. And no popping bubble gum or blowing bubbles either!

9. Saying anything negative or sarcastic about the appearance of the deceased. "Is that her real hair?" for example, is not a question to ask during a funeral. Also, avoid commenting on the outfit, jewelry, or facial expressions of the dearly departed if you can't find anything genuinely positive to say.

10. Arriving drunk. Some people make it a habit to show up to funerals inebriated. Perhaps the sadness of the occasion is an excuse to get wasted, or they have a difficult time managing feelings of grief or even guilt. Regardless of the reasons, intoxicated people disrupt funeral proceedings. If you are prone to drinking during stressful times, put the bottle down or please stay at home.