10 Things I Love About My Incompatible Husband

More than half of all marriages end in divorce. We've heard it on the television, read it in books, echoed it from our own lips a time or two. My husband and I still look at each other like teammates at half-time; products of broken homes ourselves. We aren't too cocky. We see people with 20, 30 years under their belts go down still. We haven't yet.

But we've had several opportunities.

Here are ten qualities in my husband that once made me want to beat my head against a wall. Now I am grateful for them (sometimes.)

1. He's a motorhead.

By trade, he is an automotive technician; a techno-junkie who is perpetually distracted by anything shiny and metal. He is also very good at it, so people always need him to do something with their car, equipment, etc., which makes him really popular. 98% of everything he watches on TV is about cars or machines of some kind. I've been to countless car shows, autocrosses, and auto-shops of various sorts. I have sat for hours in the shop watching him work, waiting on him to turn his attention my way. At some point I stopped griping about it and pursued my own interests, which has consequently made me more interesting to him (imagine that!) Now I can appreciate the fact that I never have to pay for my car to be serviced and I can have an intelligent conversation with someone about car parts sound like I know what I'm talking about when I discuss automotives.

2. He's a morning person.

OK, I can sometimes hammer myself into a routine where I get up early, get a lot done, go to bed early, repeat. But my natural tendency is to stay up with the owls and get up at the crack of noon. Mr. Sunshine, however, is off and ready first thing. "Daylight's burning," he says. I used to groan upon hearing this worn-out phrase, when all I wanted to do was lie in the warm bed and cuddle. After bearing this man two offspring who will jump up and down on my head if I sleep past six, I tend to be the one saying it.

3. He doesn't contemplate the universe.

"Face it, Baby, some people are just not that deep." As a melancholy personality who tends to overanalyze people, songs, statistics, relationships, and the voices in my head; I just couldn't get that. I got my feelings hurt so often by words or gestures he didn't remember, always reading into things. Sometimes there is no hidden agenda. And he doesn't waste his energy trying to find it anyway, preferring to work around the house. Ah, how refreshing.

4. He hates mushrooms.

How can anybody not like mushrooms? I think they should have their own food group. But they can be picked out fairly easily. Hurrah! More for me!

5. He's allergic to cats, shrimp, and every indigenous plant in the Southeastern United States.

I never realized how fortunate I was.

6. He forgets things.

It's a common phenomenon that women remember virtually all minor (and major) infractions, arguments, and injustices committed in a relationship. Ours is no exception. After a few years of marriage, I realize I am as guilty of committing these as is he. But there isn't room in his brain to keep that and the parts list too. So I've become better at keeping me old mouth shut.

7. He's critical.

It's hard to feel romantic toward someone who's bursting your bubble all the time. But I've learned to appreciate having a man who warns me to gargle with Listerine and tells me when dinner bombed. Because when I get a compliment, I know it's for real.

8. He's bossy.

Before marriage, I was a free spirit, roaming whithersoever I could save the money to go. I had no problems being alone, answering to no one, with no one to answer to me. The first year of marriage, I thought the man of the house was a complete tyrant. Now I see him as the person who keeps the ship running. And in learning to follow, I have learned to lead; a necessity for parenthood.

9. He's a spendthrift.

This is something that still drives me crazy to some extent, but he is a responsible provider and always gets the bills paid. I, on the other hand, can be frugal to the point of stinginess, which is also unbalanced. It's nice to have a man who doesn't micromanage every cent, and he doesn't question how I spend what I earn... not that he would need to, tightwad that I am.

10. He is not ruled by his emotions.

I think it's a universal phenomenon for women to want their men at their feet. The paradox to this is that most of us can't really and truly respect and admire a man who is constantly kissing our butts. I would have the euphoria of our first few months together in a bottle if it were possible, so that we could stay lost in the romantic throes of our newfound love for eternity. The problem with this is that it impairs our abilities to function in everyday life. And who wants a lovesick puppy following you around all the time? Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. I have found that being apart for an extended period of time duplicates this effect, however.

The best part of the whole arrangement is that we have grown together, apart, and back together again so many times that we have lost count. He's a big picture person, while I pick over the minutia. The differences have balanced, enriched, and strengthened us, while still having that unpleasant sandpaper effect that makes us fit together more smoothly. It gets funnier every year.