10 Things to Not Do when You Die

There are some things you wonder about after you die. Will I be buried? When will it be? Will it hurt? How will my death affect others? Your death affects more people than you think. If you are an unnatural or unexpected death, you will probably end up at the Medical Examiner's Office. Here are some things, however sarcastic yet true they may be, to consider before you die.

1. Don't have long hair, but really don't have your hair in braids or corn rows. It makes reflecting your scalp at autopsy extremely difficult and knots easily. Keep your hair short. Actually, it's better if you are bald.
2. If you die in a motor vehicle accident, make sure you are the only one involved. If you are, you will probably end up being a view. If you are not, you will probably end up being an autopsy, which is more work on everyone. So if you choose to not wear your seatbelt, please head away from other cars. The tree is a much better option
3. Leave a note if you commit suicide. If a note is left, it will be more likely a view than an autopsy. For example, someone found hanging with a note attached with a history of depression and previous suicide attempts is pretty self explanatory. Someone found hanging without a note is a little less so.
4. Have a clean home. Since the Medical Examiner's office might have to go to your home to pick up your dead body, it's really gross to walk into a filthy home.
5. Have a clean body. Granted, you might have dirtied yourself upon death, however general filth and uncleanliness is inexcusable. Do us all a favor and clip your toes nails, brush your hair and teeth, and shower on a regular basis.
6. Get rid of your medications. The Medical Examiner's must take every prescription bottle and note every detail about it. Please get healthy and stop taking meds because not only is it better for you, you will be helping the environment by saving paper at the Medical Examiner's office.
7. Don't be obese. It's embarrassing enough to be seen while you are alive and overweight. Imagine needing six people to move your body when you are dead because you are so fat. Do us all a favor and keep you weight reasonable.
8. Don't die in a public location. News cameras love to film removals of public cases. That is extra pressure no one needs so when you die, do it quietly and someplace where the media won't care.
9. Don't die in a super private place. I know #8 said no public places however if you die alone and no one checks in on you for a while, you then begin to smell and decompose and trust me, no one likes a deco. Choose your location wisely so that all parties involved win.
10. Ideally, die at a hospital. Getting you from a hospital cooler is much easier than moving you from the bathroom floor in your apartment on the third floor with no elevator. Again, its courteous to those who have to deal with you after death.

While no one wishes you die, these are just some things to keep in mind as you may be approaching your final chapter. Because believe it or not, you may actually have unfinished business with the Medical Examiner's after death.