10 Things to Ponder

I have one of those jobs where you have busy days and you have slow days. On the slow days, I like to ponder. For some reason, people don't ponder anymore. They think, they daydream, they fantasize, but they don't ponder.

When I was younger I used to ponder all the time. In fact, my mother walked in on me one day and caught me pondering. But, that's a whole other story and one best saved for the next visit to my analyst.

Anyway, I was sitting there the other day pondering about how glad I was that I bought a TV tray, because I was tired of having shirts with spots on them. And then it struck me. Maybe I could get people to ponder again. Getting people to ponder is not only fun to say, but it's fun to do, too.

So, I came up with a list of ten things for you to ponder and here they are now.

1. We see hundreds of birds flying around every day, but we hardly ever see any dead ones. Where do birds go

to die? Boca?

2. Why is the gas station, with the lower price, always on the other side of the highway?

3. Wouldn't it be cool, if you were driving behind someone who has their emergency signals flashing, all of a sudden, turn left and right at the same time?

4. I don't understand seedless watermelons. What do they use to plant them? A picture of a watermelon?

5. How can you tell when croutons have gone stale?

6. Why does your nose always itch, when you have both of your hands in a sink full of soapy water?

7. Why don't people keep rye bread and scotch tape in the liquor cabinet?

8. If they have pictures of missing children on cartons of milk, why don't they have pictures of missing transvestites on cartons of half and half?

9. If you have a bottle of Viagra that's more than a year old, are the pills impotent?

10. Have you ever tried writing a list of ten things, but the tenth thing is always the hardest one to come up with? Oh, wait a minute. There it is. Never mind.

So, there you have ten things for you to ponder. Have a good time pondering (just don't let your mother catch you.)