10 Things to Watch Out for While Dating

Sure, there are probably a lot more than ten things you should be careful of when going out into the dating arena, but remembering to watch out for these ten should save you a lot of grief out there. And girls- don't think of this as just a guide for men. If you're going to be out there and dating, I recommend keeping these ten things all there in the back of your mind while you're doing so, because when you find Mr. Right, the last thing you want to do is to slip up and lose your shot with him.

Conflicting Interests:
This is probably the most important thing to watch out for while dating and that's why I've put it first. Sure, it may seem obvious, but it isn't always, and I've seen lots of guys get into trouble with this one. If something comes up during conversation that's important to you (i.e. kids, money, education, politics, religion, etc) pay attention to how your date answers, because if you're a republican who wants kids and she's a staunch democrat who doesn't, chances are she's not going to change any more than you are, and trying to force a relationship around big, central issues like that just because everything else seems perfect usually just results in disaster, and that's just going to make both of you miserable in the long run.

The Seeker:
Wow, she has a lot of guy friends. How does that work? Well, if they're all about the same age as her and they show up with a bang, then drift away with a whimper and always hang around on her outer circle of friends like a pack of hungry jackals, they're probably men she's rejected because they don't live up to her standards. If you're dating her, then good job! You've made it past the first line of defenses, but be prepared- the battle is all uphill from here. Watch your step, and be careful how readily you hand over your heart, because if she decides you're not "the one" after all, chances are you're gonna end up like the rest of her trailing posse of would-be dates. Unfortunately some of the best women out there seem to fall into this category- they know they're awesome, and they won't settle for second best, so you really have to shine to impress them and show them that being with you really is better than being lonely.

The Pattern:
She just got out of a relationship where the guy abused her, and the last guy before that abused her, and the last guy before that... and now she's interested in you. Is it a break in the pattern? Hopefully. I've seen some incredible relationships happen where girls who had a bad run of luck with men finally find the one right (and awesome) guy and stuck with him, but that's not always the case. Typically if she's picking men who are abusers over and over again, she's doing it subconsciously, and chances are that once she figures out that you're not a violent, ape-like excuse for a man, something will turn over in her brain and suddenly you won't be manly enough for her. Sound unlikely? Maybe, but I've seen this one happen so many times before it hurts.

The Girl Who Never Stops Talking:
Conversation is a great skill, and it's absolutely essential to a long, happy, and healthy relationship, but when you spend your entire date listening to stories about a girl's friends and you can't even get a word in edgewise, that's definitely something to be considered. Think about it- say you keep going and things actually start getting serious with this girl, but she's done 99% of the talking and you've barely managed the rest, how well is she really going to know you? This might not seem that important, but trust me, it can most definitely come back to bite you later.

The Party Machine:
If you're into one-night stands or think getting drunk at parties is a blast, then this is probably the girl for you, but if you're looking for someone with a little more substance than someone who spends her weekends in an alcoholic haze, you might want to steer clear of this one. She's not a bad choice, per se- on the contrary, she might be an amazing person, but right now she's just young and confused, and given a few years, you'll probably find that, like a good piece of fruit, she's a lot more interesting. Because if she's bombing her brain out with 151 every time you turn around, you can't expect to cultivate a healthy relationship with her.

The Desperate Ones:
She comes out of nowhere, you've seen her maybe twice before, and suddenly she wants you... bad. Sure, this can be fun, but Watch Out! Check her motivations. Maybe she's just lonely and doesn't get out much, maybe she really really likes you, or maybe her biological alarmclock just went off, and she needs to find a man, now. Might be worth the risk if you figure you're at a place in your life where you wouldn't mind hearing the words "I'm Pregnant" within the next six months, but if you're still looking at the daddy thing and hoping to put it off a few more years, you might want to think twice, or at least insist on getting to know each other a lot better first. Diving right into the intimate part of a relationship with no real foundation of trust and love beforehand can sometimes be disastrous in the long term anyway, so take things slow if you can.

The Girl with Issues:
Deeper psychological issues and moodswing-type behavior is hard to detect on the first couple of dates, but one thing that is easy to notice is clinginess. I've had some dates that consisted of getting all dressed up to lay on the couch and watch TV for an hour- and nothing else, because the girl is literally stuck to you. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with hugs or cuddling or sensitive moments, they're all great and wonderful and the stuff of a truly amazing relationship, but when we're talking barnacle-grab on the first or second date with a lot of crying on your shoulder about how hard life is, you might want to think twice about whether or not this relationship is going to be healthy for you.

The "Other" Girl with Issues:
"I hate my ex!" She says, or maybe she tells you a "funny" little story about the time she stabbed someone because she just "kinda felt like it." This is another one to watch out for, especially if she uses the words "I can't help it" because then she's especially dangerous. Start thinking about what she might do to YOU if you suddenly became the target of her "affections" or, God forbid, you become the next "ex". Because trust me, if you go up for a drink or a cup of coffee and come down the next day looking like the victim of a wrestling massacre involving a sack of angry wildcats, that "warm fuzzy feeling" isn't going to offset the sense of "what the heck am I thinking?" that is likely to set in heavy down the road. And when the breakup occurs? Pray she doesn't show up outside your house at 3AM with a bone (or maybe something heavier) to pick.

The Queen of Perfection:
Sometimes it can be hard to spot these girls because they just look so darn good! Sure, if she's single and she looks like a fashion model, she might seem like a great catch, but take some time first to think about why, exactly, she cares so much about how she looks. It might be she's awesome and has a lot of time on her hands and she appreciates being beautiful, or it might be indicative of a deeper psychological issue. Watch her during the date- nervousness is normal, but panic, especially over something small, like the temperature is slightly warmer and she has to shed that stylish piece of fur against her will and suddenly it's a crisis, isn't. Worse than that is a girl who's always looking in the mirror or touching up her makeup throughout the whole date. Not only does it show an internal lack of interest (I mean, it's a date- eye contact is essential) but it shows insecurity in who she is and how she feels about herself. The best girls, (I've found,) are the ones who appreciate dressing up once in a while, but don't really bother much with makeup otherwise. They've just got more important things to focus on than looks, and that's often indicative of a deeper, more interesting, (and more sane) personality.

Women You Could Easily be Friends With:
This is important, not in a "steer clear" watch out sort of way, but as something absolutely essential to look for when you're out shopping for a relationship. If you want something that will be fun, passionate, and that will have a greater chance of lasting for a long while to come, look for a woman that, if things fell a part, you could easily just kickback and share a drink with. Look for common ground on issues that are important to you in the world at large, like your opinions on whatever you're passionate about, and go for the girls that are compatible with you there. If you're into cars, then get out there and look for a girl who loves to work on them (they exist!) If you're the activist type, then go to a rally or get involved with the local or school chapter of a club that's organized around a cause you feel is important to support. If you love books, go to a bookstore or a library, if you're a computer dude, but on your best duds and head down to the local internet café- there are lots of great things to do in great places that will allow you to meet great people, and most importantly, great women. So now that you know these ten things to "Watch out for" get out there and snare that one and only Miss Right that's been waiting her entire life just to meet the one and only YOU.