10 Tips for a Better Relationship

Building a better marriage is a two way street, but someone has to get the ball rolling, and it might as well be you. The best approach to a happy and functional relationship is to look inward and mold yourself to what you need to be to make your spouse feel like the treasure he/she is.

1. Unity. One of the hardest things to let go of in a permanent relationship is to release one's self and focus on someone else. Life is no more about "me", but, rather it's "us". Selfish wants such as playtime with old college friends should be limited to special occasions, reassuring your partner he/she comes first.

2. Not my money. A good sign of maturity in relationship is to let go of your earnings, with the realization that it's not truly yours anymore. Separated money holdings stop at the alter, and now we have to co-mingle the money, with each partner having equal authority over it.

3. Don't fight in front of children. To berate each other in front of children of any age creates a never ending cycle of resentment in the family when the kids are forced to take sides. Power struggles are bad enough with adults, but added tension, with hurt feelings from children, is a nightmare.

4. Set aside a special date night. Romance need not be prime rib and candle lit dinners to rekindle that special feeling that attracted you two together in the first place. Even a simple trip to the Dairy Queen is special when it's planned, anticipated, and you understand the meaning behind it is to remind each other why you care.

5. Choose special gifts instead of generic ones. Sometimes, the gift they really want comes from an appliance store, but to show your partner you understand them and care, try matching gifts with their personality. If he loves golf, how about a golf mug or necktie. Speaks German? How about a BBQ apron in German? Also, you can make a big impact with wrapping paper by adding a few simple trinkets to the package decor that reflects his personality.

6. Try to spend equal time with his family. Sometimes families are too far away for regular visits, but just staying in touch the best you can will show some honor to your in-laws. You can be email buddies or hook up with Skype for $2.95 unlimited calling. Whatever it takes, make his family feel special any way you can.

7. Give in. Whatever the disagreement is, it's usually not that important and not worth saying things you'll regret the rest of your life. Stand your ground with sound, persuasive debate on important issues, but for the daily strife in life, who cares. Also, if you smile it off and be nice, you'll heap some guilt on his little conscience and might teach him a lesson.

8. Don't nag. Nagging has a grating effect on people and can make them suddenly explode. If you have a guy that's "hard of hearing" try writing things down on a community chalk board or a sticky note on the fridge. The old sayings true: "You catch more flies with honey than vinegar".

9. Praise when praise is due. It only takes a moment to thank somebody or offer a sincere compliment. By building your partner's self esteem, you are creating your own world of adoration in return. But, I never compliment unless it's true and I really mean it. To speak vain, empty words opens the door to mistrust.

10. Plan your years ahead. Looking forward to your retirement years together is half the fun of getting there. Share your dreams and visions and keep them fresh and bold until the day you die. Life loses it's excitement when we lose our dreams. This can happen at any age, but is so easy to fix by choosing to hope again.