10 Tips on How to Maintain a Routine with an Ill Child

Lets be honest, parenting an ill child takes effort. It's not an 8-5 workday and you don't get paid. It's challenging, tiring, and often stressful beyond all means. Even more so are the decisions you will have to face as your child fights to survive. Here are 10 things to think about as you struggle to help your child cope with their illness.

1. Educate Yourself

It is vital that you understand what your child is going through. Understand the pain, emotions, and basic symptoms of their illness. If it is shown in stages, look to see where you child is currently at and if they worsen, schedule or call, an appointment with their doctor. This also allows you to thoroughly answer questions your child may come to you with, and it should help you visualize and comprehend what to expect from them. It is also a valuable asset because it shows you what is a normal symptom and what isn't, so if your child's illness becomes a spin-off into another disease, you should be able to spot it.

Information can be found online, at the library, and often at the doctor's office. Don't be afraid to ask the Physician something you don't understand about the illness or about a treatment plan. Ask multiple questions if you have them; it shows that you are prepared, have thought over the matter, and actually care about your child. Doctor's don't mind answering questions; it's the fluff stuff that ends up grating on their nerves (and making them late). They are paid to help you, so make your time worthwhile; grab a notebook, jot down questions so you won't forget them, and get started!

2. Don't be Afraid to Discipline

I know it will always be easier to pamper a sick child in an effort to ease their pain and in hopes of bringing a moment of relief, but watch yourself. Don't let them walk all over you with requests of staying up late and "poor pitiful me" whimpers that break down previous rules of homework and chores. If they have the strength and energy, keep it up! It's important to reinforce limits, because this is a strong sign of normalcy instead of a shocking realization that something has changed. This also reinforces the parent-child relationship, which can often be swallowed up by the stresses of an illness. Don't let that happen. Instead, continue to build character through the bonding of family, the growth of friendship, and appropriate discipline when needed.

3. Get into the Groove

Even if your child becomes or is already home schooled, it's time for the biological clock to be set. Now, depending on what the doctor says, he may need more than the average 8 hours of sleep, but you shouldn't let him laze around in bed all day just because he can. It's best if you pick a time to get up- and take meds, that way his body gets self adjusted to the drugs and repeatedly replenishes itself the next day.

4. Breakfast is Important

For many, breakfast has become a thing of the past. Whether they don't have enough time in the morning, they are trying to lose weight, or they just "don't feel like it," the delicious aroma of pancakes has become almost nonexistent, and the grab and go ease of Carnation Instant Breakfast has even dwindled. But, why? It's the one meal that boosts metabolism and jump starts our engine, turning our brains on and cleaning out the fog between our ears in a simple step to start a new day. So, if possible, bring breakfast to the table, but play smart.

Look at what your child needs and pay attention to what they will and won't eat. When suffering from an illness the smells, textures, and acids of foods can be increasingly disastrous, making fruits and some vegetables unbearable. Medicines often deplete vitamins and nutrients from a person, so if they have a hard time digesting them, sneak (add) a multivitamin into their pills. Also, try to keep all meals on a schedule in an effort to make them comfortable.

5. Communicate Effectively

Basically, communicate but don't suffocate. It's hard sometimes to maintain a schedule/routine with an ill child because they are experiencing emotional and physical pain in variating strengths. Don't hover constantly, asking them "how do you feel" in between their sips of water and nips at toast; that will drive kids insane and it often leads to depression because they see themselves branded by sickness instead of the personality they once had.

6. Chores Don't Go Away

Chores are a great way to remind your child that they are still strong, willing, and able to do certain things. They are also a wonderful way to add order to your daily activities. You can pencil in picking up their room everyday after lunch, unloading the dishwasher when you've cleaned the kitchen done, or you can even create a list of chores for the week to be hung on the fridge. It doesn't matter, just use them as a building block to normalcy, and if you really want to, use them as them to squeeze time in with your child.

7. Continue to Show Your Love

Love is a vital asset to your child's survival, and it is the best way to add structure to their lives. Love, laughter, and tears are what make life worthwhile; don't forget this in your child's time of need. Instead, use these things to strengthen your relationship. Use humor to ease their pain and to take their minds away from the situation that they are facing. Give them your shoulder, without judgment, when they cry. Try to get them to express emotions; kids are prone to keep things bottled up inside, letting them grow dangerously vengeful if left unspoken.

Children often struggle with depression when they are first diagnosed with an illness because they blame themselves for things their parents have given up, their siblings are now leery of, and their classmates have said. It's not fair, but their world has crashed around them and they haven't fully comprehended what has happened to them. All that they really know is that things are different and it feels like they can't change it.

Find ways to remind your child that you will always be there. Ways like singing "I will love you in the morning" every morning; reading aloud, baking together in the kitchen, and coloring in the living room; and crazy family jokes will get them through. Constant hugs, prayers, compliments, and smiles will make a lifetime of difference. Don't give up, give hope.

8. Nap Time

Try to schedule a daily nap for your child. I know it can be hard, since you never know what life will bring you, but illnesses are well know for depleting the body, and if you allow your child to over exert themselves there may be consequences. Naps are a great way to recharge you child's battery, momentarily freeing them from the physical stress and emotional burdens of their illness and renewing their strength. Be careful not to let your child sleep too long. Too much time in bed can have adverse effects, making your child cranky and keeping them up all night tossing and turning, unable to rest.

9. Get Dressed

Get dressed, even if you don't have to. I know pjs and tangles can be fun for a bit, but getting dressed is another way to add structure to your everyday life and to keep your child in tune with day-to-day activities. It doesn't matter if you jump from one nightgown to another, changing clothes is a reminder that a new day has arrived and new things will be done.

10. Make Life Fun

The thing easiest to overlook when a child becomes diagnosed with an illness is FUN. All too often sick kids are found with pallid skin, sunken eyes, and limp hair. Not because they haven't bathed or are extremely weak, but because they are overprotected and not allowed outside, haven't seen friends in ages, and outside activities- as menial as a quick trip to the grocery store are out of the question. Even if they stayed in the car. Now, there is a time and a place to go to such lengths, but kids need a reason to get up everyday. If baseball, band, and even the average schooling has been crossed off their list, why continue to whittle it down?

Give them a chance to experience the outside world utilizing the strengths that they have. Just go down to Joe's diner and let them sit somewhere else for a change. You could make it a mental mission to get them out of the house once a week, but the number should grow in an effort to strengthen their limbs and spirit. It's amazing what outside communication and the uplift of different surroundings, no matter how simple, can do for someone, but pay attention to how long they can ride in a car and how well they adapt to strange environments.

So be strong and make life fun! Bust out the Legos and bring out the watercolors, you don't have to be miserable with an illness; you just have to be willing to cope. Pay attention to your child's emotions, and don't let your child feel like they've done something to deserve their sickness. Children often conjure unique ideas as to why they deserve their disease; don't let them blame themselves. Instead, rebuild your life one step at a time and maintain your family's schedule and routine as you strive to improve the life of your suffering child.