10 Tips to Survive Being an In-Law

First of all, being an in-law falls into this category of life's must-do's. No matter what you think, these people who you marry (because we all know you are not just marrying the man of your dreams, or the woman of your dreams, you are, in fact, marrying their family also) are under no circumstances, YOUR family. They do not have to accept you for your faults, they do not have to appreciate your idiosyncracies, and they do not, I repeat, do not, need to know your life story. Only your spouse needs to be supportive of your decisions, not your in-laws, don't ask for it (support), don't expect it, and don't cry about the lack of it, if that happens to be the case.

My inlaws are amazing people, I have learned many lessons being married to my husband, and being married to his family! We have all had our ups and downs and they have become an inspiration to me. A good inspiration! Remember that the way you treat your inlaws will reflect in your daily activities, it will reflect on your relationship with your spouse, and it will affect the relationship you have with your children.

Rule number one: Do not share your life story with your in-laws. Experience tells me now, after the fact, that sharing every little dirty detail with your in-laws as a way to win them over could do the opposite - it could make them dislike you.

Rule number two: Do not fight your spouses battles for them with their families. Experience also has shared with me that when you try to fight a battle for your spouse with their family, you will not only lose, but you will inevitably push these people away.

Rule number three: Never make fun of your in-laws, especially in front of them. Common sense people. They may joke about you, and you may not like it, but under no circumstances are you to make jokes about them, especially when you are within hitting distance.

Rule number four: Never complain about your spouse to their family. Really, if you even thought that you had gotten close to his sister, or his mother, or even his step-mother, you haven't. They are testing you. Trust me, do not spill the beans about how your spouse snores all night long, or did something that really ticked you off.

Rule number five: Do not call your mother in law 'mom' unless she invites you to do so. This is breaking one of the most sacred rules of them all. Do you really want this woman as your enemy for the rest of your happy life together? Trust me, once again, she would prefer to be called Mrs. so and so, or by her first name. When in doubt, DON'T do it!

Rule number six: Do not give your in-law's any advice. It is not welcome. Unless they ask you for said advice, do not offer it. Remember, speak only when spoken to. Please!

Rule number seven: No expectations. It is hard enough for your spouse to meet your expectations, don't expect the same from his or her family. They most likely have no expectations, or very low expectations of you, so why put them in such a difficult situation.

Rule number eight: No comparisons. You do not need to compare your family to your spouses' family. They are not the same family. Why would they act as such? When you compare the way you were raised to the way your husband or wife was raised, you invalidate them and the way that they were raised. You wouldn't like the same comparison with your family, so don't do it to theirs.

Rule number nine: Never share your financial information with your in-laws. It will do one of two things - make them wonder why, if you have so much money and are so comfortable, did they foot your wedding bill, or it will make them think that you are not wise with your money and spend it needlessly. Neither is a good scenario to be in, so just don't talk about money at all with them, any of them!

Rule number ten: Never, ever, ever write about your in-laws. At least, don't let them read it if you do. They will do one of two things - assume that you are disrespecting them, which i'm sure you are in NO way doing, or they will assume that you are a complete idiot and didn't know any better. Neither option gives me the 'feel-goods' so just avoid it all together!

Bonus tip: The topic of sex - undeniably, unquestionably, no-doubt-about-it, do not speak of it with any in-laws. Things your own mother would not want to hear are not to be spoken of with someone who bore the very child you speak of in reference to your sex life. Avoid this at all cost.

There you have it, the rules of engagement so to speak. Know these rules before you tie the knot. Know them before you open your big mouth and get yourself into a predicament that you will never free yourself from. Realize, also, that having in-laws in your life is only strengthening your relationship with your spouse, how you interact with his or her family is a test you need to pass. Be on your best behavior and for goodness sake, do not let your guard down!

The in-law is a precious commodity, protect it, guard it, and make sure that you treat it with dignity and respect, hopefully, in return, you too, will be welcomed and treated with the kind of respect that you deserve.