10 Ways to Ease Your Child into Preschool

The month of September brings with it several changes: A change of season; a change in the weather; and, for some, an exciting new start to the school year. For Preschoolers, it is the start to the very first day of school-ever!

It can be a mixture of emotions for parents as they let go of their babies to help them build up their independence. For Preschoolers, it can be frightening as it may be the first time for many of them away from their primary caregivers. How can a parent ease their child into the school routine while still making the whole situation a positive one?

Here are some suggestions:

(1) Visit the school: The best way to make a place less scary is to make it familiar. Take your child on a trip to the school. Show them where their class will be, the different play/activity areas there will be or even where their belongings will be (eg: if they have a cubby or storage bucket to keep outside shoes or jackets in).

(2) Tell them instructor/teachers' names and information about them: Tell your child what their teachers' names will be, what they look like or show them a picture of their teacher if one is available. In keeping with the above suggestion, a familiar face is much less scary to a child.

(3) Talk about what will happen on the first day: Most Preschools send out a newsletter or flyer to provide information about the first day, what to bring, instructions about drop off/pick up and other pertinent information. Talk to your child about what will happen on their first day. Sometimes if they know what to expect, it will ease anxiety and replace it with eager excitement.

(4) Talk about any monthly themes and what they can do to participate: Some Preschools have a different theme for each month. For example, October may focus on fall and Halloween. Get your child to input ideas into what they can contribute to the theme, such as costume ideas, decorations, Halloween snacks, or show-and-tell ideas.

(5) Review classroom rules and guidelines: Children fight rules but they also crave them. Usually the school sends home classroom rules and the guidelines they expect children to follow. They are usually few and set out simply so children will understand and remember them (eg: "Sharing Is Caring"). If you review classroom rules with your child, they will know what is expected of them ahead of time.

(6) Arrange a play-date: Try to set up a play date with other children on the same day(s) they will be attending Preschool. This will help your child work their school days into their routine and, hopefully, by the time the start school, they'll be all set.

(7) Get them to choose snacks and clothes: Toddlers and preschoolers fight for every opportunity to practice independence. By getting them to choose the clothes they want to wear and the snack they want, they'll feel as though they are contributing.

(8) Encourage and answer questions: Another great way to ease anxiety is to talk about the big school day. Watch how you ask questions because if you prompt answers (eg: "You're a bit scared of starting school, aren't you honey?"), you may be implanting a fear or concern where there isn't one. Merely asking your child what they think of starting school and if they want to talk about anything would be a great way to get them to discuss things.

(9) Let them talk about their fears/anxieties and suggest coping tactics: If they do express any anxieties or fears, address their concerns but be casual about it. Try to help them figure out ways to cope. For example, help them find an activity they love to start the session off with to start them off on the right track.

(10) Be excited: If your child thinks you are upset or nervous about the big day they will feed on this. The best thing you can do is be as positive about Preschool as you can without going overboard (kids can tell when you're trying to be excited for their sakes too!). Don't let them see you tear up; try your best not to give any indication you have any anxiousness (even if you do); and, most of all, put your biggest, brightest smile on. If they see you happy and excited they'll believe their new school won't be such a bad place.

Believe me, I understand how parents' heartstrings are tugged on the first day of Preschool: both of my girls (Jaimie, five in January; and Jordhan, three in October) started last week. After 40 minutes of trying to get Jaimie to calm down, I made my escape once she found some crayons and paper. Out in the hallway, Karen, the Head Child and Youth Care Worker in charge of the Preschool programs where Jaimie and Jordhan are, eased other mothers' nerves whose children still cried for Mama from the classroom. Karen encouraged them to keep trying:

"If you are determined to make things work and keep things positive, everything will work out fine."

As I listened to Karen's words, tears flooded my eyes as I watched my girls: Jordhan, who didn't even know I left; and Jaimie, who even with her SID, managed to find ways to cope with her new environment and even gave me a weak smile and a thumbs-up as if to say, "See, Mama? I can do it!"

They'll be just fine-and so will I (eventually).