10 Ways to Harness the Power of Conversation

Have you ever felt like you could do with the gift of gab? Do words come out wrong when you try to speak? I know the feeling. It happens to all of us. Sometimes, communication just fails to bring about a connection.

The details of communication and conversation are more complex than most people could imagine. There are rules to everything-public speaking, first introductions, talking to a superior-but most of the time we don't realize we're following a set way of doing things. So learning the rules of communication-all the millions of them-isn't the best way to improve your conversations with other people. Not surprisingly, the best way to connect to others using effective communication is by examining yourself.

Follow these 10 steps to learn about how you communicate and how you can improve. With an honest self-examination, you can find what you need to work on and become a better conversationalist.

1. Review the basics.

Think about what you already know. You know the fundamentals of grammar. You know how to read. You know pronunciation. This is a great start! Now, practice reading out loud so what you already know becomes more ingrained in your spoken communication.

2. Open up your ears.

Listening is a great way to learn. Listen to yourself as you practice speaking out loud. Listen to other people talk to each other. Listen to the great speech-givers of the past (Think Martin Luther King, Jr.).

3. Keep your eyes on the prize.

You always realize when someone won't look in you the eye. Without eye contact, there's a lack of connection in a conversation. This goes for one-on-one talks and addresses to large groups. Always look at who your talking to, but be sure not to hold your gaze too long to avoid making the other person uncomfortable.

4. Recognize your mistakes.

Mispronounce a word, give out wrong information, call somebody by the wrong name-you're going to do it all. The key to good communication is to acknowledge your mistakes, then move on.

5. Realize the world doesn't revolve around you.

'I' may be the most commonly spoken word in the English language, but don't make it the cornerstone of your vocabulary. People don't like listening to a catalogue of your latest feats of greatness. Keep the self referencing to a minimum and your communication skills will vastly improve.

6. Crack a joke.

Lighten it up with a joke or two. Nobody wants to be serious all the time. You can really connect with people if you lighten the mood at appropriate times. The key is to know when to say when.

7. Look alive.

If you look friendly, your words will seem friendly too. If you want to get people to listen to you, there's no better way than smiling at them. They'll remember your liveliness all day.

8. Mingle.

Here's one time when it's good to be one of the crowd. Conversation is most rewarding when the speaker can connect to his or her audience. So blend in. If you're addressing a group of artists, talk about art. Find out what you have in common with the people you are communicating with, and use it to your advantage.

9. Practice makes perfect.

This is given. If you have to deliver a speech to a large group of people, practice, practice practice! Recite your speech to yourself in a mirror. And make sure you're adequately prepared for the big day, whether you use note cards or memorization.

10. Think about the great speakers you've met.

There must have been someone you knew at some point in your life-a teacher, a parent, a news anchor on TV-who gave great speeches. Think about that person. What made you want to listen to them? Find out and take on their methods as your own.

With these 10 tactics, you're on the way to being an excellent speaker. Communication is complicated, but awareness of your conversational style opens up opportunities to great speech.