10 Ways to Help Manage Stress

I'm a busy mom with two small boys, one is two-years old and a huge source of stress by himself. The other is five-months old. I work in a fast-paced dental office three days a week and spend and hour and a half commuting, so in total I am gone for 10 hours or more (if I need to stop for groceries or do other errands), and I come home exhausted. In addition to my job and my children, I also have a household to run and church callings to fulfill. After my second baby was born, and I went back to work I felt totally overwhelmed by the load I had to carry. I had to find ways to better manage my time and my stress. I recently asked to have my workdays reduced to three to take some of the pressure off, but I know not everyone can reduce the time they spend at work, so I thought I'd share some other ways to get through every day without ending up in a straight jacket.

1. Focus Your Energy
Instead of trying to do everything on my to do list, I dedicate specific days to specific purposes. One day a week is for housekeeping, one day is for administrative tasks like paying bills and setting appointments, one day is for managing my church-related responsibilities, one is just for spending time with my family. This way I don't overload my to do list on my days away from the office or cram too much into my evenings.

2. Limit Daily Housekeeping
I used to obsess over keeping a perfectly tidy house, but I've learned that with two kids, a job, a commute, and my other responsibilities I just don't have enough time or enough sanity to keep it perfect every day. So as I mentioned before, I dedicate one day a week to cleaning my house from end to end until it is immaculate. The rest of the week I give myself thirty minutes a day. I spend ten minutes tidying the kitchen, ten minutes straightening the living room and bedrooms, and ten minutes doing laundry. My husband takes out the garbage and watches the kids while I clean. I encourage my two year old to help out by picking up his own toys and the clothes in his room.

3. Organize Your Home
Cut down on clutter and create a system for areas of your home that tend to be chaotic and stressful. For example, I keep my desk from becoming a black hole by keeping a three compartment paper sorter. I use the RAFT system to organize my mail, which stands for read, act, file, toss. Mail that needs to be read goes in one slot, action items that need an answer goes in another slot, items that need to be filed go in the remaining slot. I keep bills that need to paid separate, hanging on my ribbon board but you could also include them in your action area. The rest gets tossed. Everyone has a different problem area so find a system to manage your home that works for you. Reassess your organizational methods regularly. Every fall and spring I sit down and identify problem areas for clutter and stress in my home. Then I come up with an action plan for getting those problem areas under control. Keeping my home organized saves me a great deal of time and stress in the long run.

4. Take Some Time to Plan
Make a list. Even if your not a dayplanner kind of person, checking items off a to do list helps prevent stress caused by forgotton responsibilities and checking tasks off provides a sense of satisfaction as you see your to do list shrink. Also keeping a family calendar makes it less likely you'll forget appointments and events. This could be as simple as printing a calendar on your computer to stick to the fridge and writing your to do list on a post it not. I personally like to keep a dayplanner though because it keeps everything in one place, its easy to reference when I need it, and it's portable so it goes where I go.

5. Streamline Your Personal Care Routine
Shave some time off of your morning routine and eliminate time wasted in the bathroom. I shower at night before bed so all I have to worry about in the morning is hair and makeup. I keep my hair short with lots of texture so styling only takes five minutes and I don't have to worry about looking perfect, and I keep my makeup simple. I just dab on concealer, dust on some finishing powder, add a little bronzer to my cheeks, sweep on a neutral eye shadow, and finush with a coat of mascara. I spend about fifteen minutes total if you include the time it takes me to dress, brush my teeth, and wash my face.

6. Be Prepared
If mornings are hectic prepare as much as you can the evening before. I not only shower at night, I also pack my lunch, diaper bag, and purse up with everything I need in the evening. If I know I have to go shopping the next day I throw reusable shopping bags in my trunk the evening ahead. If it's time to take waste to the recycling center I make sure that's all in the car the night before. This way I forget things less often and I get out the door on time. I prep an easy breakfast by adding one egg and some chopped veggies to a one quart ziploc bag and shaking it. Then in the morning I boil some water and throw the ziploc bag in for an easy omelet.

7. Manage Finances
When my finances are helter skelter or my bills are late I think about it constantly. I spend more time coping with anxiety because I didn't take care of my budget and over spent than I do over any other stressor. To nip this worry in the bud I keep a budget template on a spread sheet program ( I use openoffice.org calc, it's free) and each month I create a budget sheet for each payday. My husband gets paid weekly so I include the expenses for the following week in each period, when we were paid biweekly I always tried to schedule bills two weeks ahead. I pay bills first then get groceries and gas. Once the necessities are taken care of I know how much I have to work with. I also use online banking and schedule payments for two days before the due date. Because I'm doing this ahead of time the money stays in my account longer even though it's already technically been spent. This helps prevent overdrafts which used to cause me tons of headaches. I also round all my expenses up to the nearest dollar when I record them so an extra cushion is created in my account.

8. Get Some Shut Eye
Getting plenty of rest is a great stress reducer. When I make it a point to get my eight hours in, I'm less irritable and so much more able to tackle stressors. I admit I struggle with this, it's hard to fit everything I want to do into one day and still get to bed by ten, but I know it reduces my stress levels drastically

9. Get Professional Help
I am a Type A, perfectionist, rigid, stress-prone personality. A few months ago after the birth of my second son I started having problems with an old neck injury, frequent tension headaches, my sciatica flared up, and I was experiencing constant anxiety. I was practically non functional. I don't see a therapist, but I did start seeing a chiropractor and a massage therapist regularly. This helps a ton not only to relieve my pain but also to help me cope with stress. Also my chiropractor recommended a homeopathic supplement called Formula 303 which contains passion flower, valerian root, and magnesium carbonate to help treat anxiety and muscle tension.

10. Stay Spiritual
My number one recommendation for stress control is to stay tuned in to the spiritual. Prayer is one of the best stress relievers I can recommend. When I can't carry my burdens any more I place them on my heavenly father and he carries them for me. As an LDS mother I am so grateful to have the opportunity to attend my meetings once a week where I am renewed spiritually to face the week ahead, and to live in an area where I can attend the temple once a month. Staying close to my Father and My savior fills my well of strength when it is completely dry. No matter what your faith, keeping that faith close will give you the strength to manage any stress that comes your way.