10 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Strong

Every relationship has its ups and downs, but there are ways to stay on the right track even when the "downs" are hovering around you. Unfortunately so many couples find themselves working against each other when times are tough. Financial situations are the number one cause of marital spats. The anger that arises during these spats commonly lead to other problems such as complete communication break downs, adulterous affairs, and even verbal; emotional; or physical abuse by one or the other, or even both partners. This can be extremely toxic to any relationship, and even worse if there are young witnesses watching their parents go through such trying times. It can also begin or continue a cycle of violence that is very difficult to stop. But there are many ways a couple can avoid turning difficult times into bad times and possible a break-up of what was once a beautiful relationship.

My husband and I have had some extremely challenging obstacles to hurdle, especially in the past year, but we have met them full-force with our hands tightly holding one another rather than pushing each other away and making it all worse. The following are some tips to keeping the love stronger than the anger.

1. Communication - discuss the events that are causing the challenges in your life. Talk about what can be done to improve the situation as well as the pros and cons to the solutions you have each suggested. Keep the lines of communication open at all times for one another.

2. Honesty - Always be honest about your feelings. When you buff a situation with dishonesty just to get through it without too much confrontation or emotional hurt either on your part or your partner's, the problems will continue to linger in the back of your mind and may eventually explode in a sudden burst of anger directed towards your partner which can easily lead to a chain of negative events that can make the original issue seem petty. So keep it real.

3. Trust - trust in your partner and trust in yourself. You must trust in your mate's feelings and suggestions. Do not begin to question your partner's intentions during this time of more genuine issues that need to be dealt with. Trust in yourself to discuss the issues from your heart so your partner knows you are as much determined to find a solution as he or she is.

4. Acceptance - It is very important to accept each other's different opinions. You do not need to agree with one another, but accept each other's ideas and suggestions as a possible solution. Also, bring in your honesty at this point. State that you do not agree, but you are willing to hear them out. No two minds work the same, but together they may find one's strengths may help the other's weaknesses, and vice versa.

5. Compromise - As state above, no two minds work the same; however, compromise it the most powerful tool a couple can use to keep their relationship strong and functional. You each may have your own ideas, but when you combine them, the solution to any current problems will surface quicker than if you do not work together.

6. Step Back - If things get hot and friction begins to effect your communication, step back and give each other a breather. Take a break to rethink what needs to be said. Many times hind-sight is 20/20, therefore, if you take a break, you may be able to re-organize your thoughts and get back to communicating with a clearer mind. Do not get to the point where you both begin to say thing you may regret later.

7. Give In - Sometimes you cannot combine your thoughts to work together. Giving in to one another when you feel you have reached a dead-end with resolutions to what you are discussing, may be the only way out. Giving in is just another form of compromise that we all have to face at times. Don't be stubborn, open up.

8. Creativeness - Stay creative with your suggestions to solutions. When it comes to the common problems of financial woes, find some creative ideas to keep yourselves above water. Whether it is a side job, a yard sale, or even organizing a bake sale, you can always find creative ways to keep the lights on. Just keep them on the right side of the law, and you will find the money one way or another. If it is an issue specifically about your relationship, there are many creative ways to keep the love alive...wink, wink.

9. Humor - Always find the right moment to keep the atmosphere light. My husband is a pro at cutting through the thickness of negativity with a spurt of humor. Make your partner laugh, because if we don't laugh through trying times, then it may seem like an eternity before we reach the other side. A positive attitude is the key to making it through the challenges life puts in your path.

10. Take some "together" time - Find some time to just let it all go and enjoy each other's company. Whether you have found a solution to the problems you are dealing with or not, you need to put it all aside and spend some quality, problem-free, time together. Take a walk, go for a ride, watch a movie, or just cuddle. Remember why you chose to spend your life with the person beside you in the first place and go back to that feeling of contentment without all the reality that goes along with every relationship. Love each other completely.

My husband and I have just been through a year of unexpected and severe challenges that we are still trying to find some light one the other side, but through it all, our relationship has strengthened rather than weakened. We have learned our limits and how to hold each other up during times of tears and frustrations. We have found laughter and optimism at times when most would just give up. Life always finds rocky paths, but no matter what, it will all smooth out in the long run. So don't dwell on the negative, rather appreciate the great person who is with you during what could be the worst times. Turn them around to be experiences you can look back on and laugh about later.