10 Ways for a Lousy ESL Teacher to Not Only Survive but Actually Prosper in Thailand

Even if you are a really crap ESL teacher there are certain things that you can do to keep your job in Thailand. Here are just 10 which if followed might not only allow you to keep your job but will make you a valued member of staff.

1. Be a yes-person. In Thailand it is vital to always be seen as positive and willing to do what is asked. Most of the time you will have no intention of doing any of what you have agreed to do and usually just agreeing to do it will be enough to get you brownie-points, but if for some reason they take umbrage for you not doing what is asked then nine out of ten times this can be smoothed over by buying your superior a cheap and delicious Thai snack.

2. Flirt with and compliment all your colleagues and bosses. Your ability to get people to like you can really make up for any deficiencies that you might have in regards to teaching. Anyone who has seen the film, 'Shattered Glass' will know that it is amazing the amount of gross incompetence you can get away with if people like you.

3. Find out who are the real power-houses in your school, and focus most of your attention on getting these people to like you. Make sure that they know that your loyalties remain firmly with them. Provide whatever tidbits of useful information that you glean in confidence from your colleagues and never hesitate for one second if it comes to reporting them for any wrongdoing to your superiors.

4. Convince your colleagues that you are 100% a team player and that the bosses are your common enemy. You are walking a tight-rope here between convincing your work friends that you are on their side in any dispute and reporting back to those in charge about their rebellious employees. If you get it right you will be well rewarded.

5. Make your classes fun, fun, fun. Most students will forget that you aren't teaching them anything if you keep them entertained with movies and games. The more intelligent student might at first complain about the lack of learning, but constant flattery and putting them in charge of the remote control will soon have them on your side. Convince the students that you are their friend and and they will forgive your ineffectiveness as an educator, and give you glowing reports every time.

6. Know when to look busy. Find out when the school managers are going to be around and make sure that you look busy during their visits.

7. Learn to speak fluent Thai. Your ability to speak Thai will serve you more than your ability to speak English. Your compliments will sound more endearing to your Thai colleagues when it is in their own language and bosses will be able to extract more useful gossip from you as it is in a language that they are more familiar with.

8. Try and get your face into every school picture as this will increase your ties with the school. Your boss will be far less likely to fire you if it means completely redecorating the school when you leave.

9. Even if you haven't really messed up big-time in a while you should still regularly bring tasty Thai snacks into school for your bosses and work colleagues; this really is like money in the bank for you.

10. Use your more talented students to do your school administrative duties such as marking homework and filling out school attendance and marks. This will not only make them feel important, but will also ensure that they feel obligated to you as you will reward them with tasty Thai snacks.