10 Ways to Tell the Honeymoon is Over

Let's face it, the first few years of marriage, we go out of our way to make that someone who has agreed to spend the rest of their lives with us, feel special. We do this in many ways; through words, actions and patience. Patience, after a while, becomes tolerance and soon, before we know it, the honeymoon is over. Here are ten ways to tell if your marriage has taken that step into "Realityland."

1. Before, he would throw his dirty clothes into the hamper. Now, you find his underwear hanging on the doorknob.

2. Before, when you came home, she would greet you with hugs and kisses. Now, she greets you with a plunger and the number of toys Little Johnny tried flushing down the toilet.

3. Before, he would call you cute nicknames like, "Honeybun" or "Sweetcheeks." Now, it's, "Hey, you!" (Note: After ten years of marriage, he drops the "you.")

4. Before, she would give you your favorite meals with all the trimmings. Now, she gives you extra napkins for your Sloppy Joes.

5. Before, he would take you to your favorite restaurant where the menu had a wide array of exotic dishes. Now, he takes you to a restaurant where the menu is behind somebody's head.

6. Before the kids arrived, she would wear her sexiest perfume. Now, she smells like "Eau de Baby Poop."

7. Before, he would surprise you with sweet smelling flowers. Now, he surprises you with announcements of his flatulence.

8. Before, she would ask, "Is there anything I can do for you?" Now, she asks, "What do you want now?"

9. Before, he would want to make love all night. Now, he wants to wait until the game is over.

10. Before, she would want to make love all night. Now, she hopes the game goes into overtime.

If any of these sound familiar, congratulations. You are now into the down and dirty side of marriage. You are finally being yourself. And, isn't that all we want anyway? Just to be ourselves? No more putting on our happy face when we feel like screaming. No more putting up a false front when we want to say what is really on our minds. Of course, if we all did that, there would be a lot more people checking the single box on their tax returns. The happy medium is to realize that we are all going to change after marriage and it's up to each of us to be prepared.

Here's to many years of connubial bliss.