10 Worst Attractions at the Disneyland Resort

Here I am, pushing further in my quest to give you the best Disneyland-related advice by writing a list of the ten attractions that I prefer the least. Like my list of my favourite attractions, this is probably incredibly biased. As well, ride preference will still vary with everyone so don't take my word for it. Go on everything and make your own personal decisions. I had more difficulty writing this one over the ten best attractions because the Disney Company works so hard to maintain a fun environment with special attention to detail and great customer service. It's incredibly difficult to pick holes in that so while I've put these ten attractions on this list, they're not tragic wastes of your time and money. They're simply a tad less fun than the others.

10. Sun Wheel - Regular Cars, Disney's California Adventure
Beginning the countdown is Paradise Pier's Sun Wheel. However, it's only the regular non-swinging cars that are being included. I find that the swinging cars add a bit of thrill which makes the plain Jane cars, just that. While the view over both theme parks are spectacular, and the line for the stationary cars is always shorter, which can make it a quick breather ride before something speedier; there isn't much else going for it. The fixed cars don't offer something more than one's local amusement park, and it can be a bit of a disappointment.

9. Golden Zephyr, Disney's California Adventure
Probably the most annoying aspect in regards to this Paradise Pier attraction is that there is nothing golden coloured about it. The cars are silver. Getting past that point and onto the ride however, one discovers that there isn't much exciting happening. Unfortunately, the cars just spin around in a circle while attached to thick cables. The most thrilling part is wondering if the cables will break and you'll get to go flying into the water. Either that or you end up feeling quite ill. Neither feeling can be fully appreciated.

8. Davy Crockett's Explorer Canoes, Disneyland
For the adventurous go-getters, this attraction is probably welcome and exciting. Unfortunately, for the rest of us, Critter Country's DIY ride falls flat. Who else would want to pay excessive amounts of money to slave away under the hot sun paddling a massive canoe while a super psyched Cast Member shouts encouragement at you? The idea doesn't appeal to many, which is why there's never a frantic queue of people waiting their turn. My family put me on this once when I was a child, and they quickly regretted it. Children will most likely not enjoy this! That being said, if canoeing is you and your family's thing, a much cheaper and less frustrating option is to get out there on a proper body of water with a rental canoe.

7. Mission Tortilla Factory Tour, Disney's California Adventure
Number seven's attraction from the Golden State is a no-brainer for me. While I'm sure the tour is presented in an interesting manner, I have never actually done it because I've never felt it to be worth my time. This makes it an extremely biased opinion, but when I go to Disneyland, I'm not going there to watch people make tortillas. I'm sorry, but it's just not my thing. If tortillas are something you're into, then it's probably great. However, if you're not interested, don't do it.

6. The Bakery Tour, Disney's California Adventure
Everything that I said about the Mission Tortilla Factory can easily be repeated about this Golden State creation. This time, substitute watching people make tortillas with watching people make sourdough bread. While sourdough is definitely yummier than a tortilla to me, a bakery is even more upsetting to visit in Disneyland than a tortilla factory. Bakeries are more common. Most people know what goes on in a bakery. Tortilla factories are a little less known about. Though I will admit, the bread is absolutely delicious. Head to the Pacific Wharf and get some soup served in a sourdough bowl.

5. Innoventions, Disneyland
Tomorrowland's tribute to the inventor's future is number five on my list. Unless you have a vested interest in the future and inventing, I recommend skipping this one. Guests are first shown a quick presentation of up and coming inventions that will be on the market soon, and then they cut you loose into a science enthusiast's Wonderland. If you do go in, I encourage a visit to the virtual vacation section. It's very well done. Other than that, the layout is confusing, the activities are extremely simple (read: BORING), and the inventions aren't much to get hyped up about. Though I will admit that the fridge that knows how much of everything you have and can come up with recipes using those ingredients is pretty nifty. Be wary of you and your children's enthusiasm when it comes to this attraction!

4. Donald's Boat, Disneyland
Ah yes, the sweetheart of Mickey's Toontown; Donald's boat, the Miss Daisy. Like most exploratory attractions, this is a snooze-fest. Kids might get a kick out of ringing the bell and steering the oversized wheel, but apart from a Daisy figurine on the front of the vessel, there's nothing magical or Disney about this thing. Parents will grit their teeth in frustration at the crowd of children attempting to make it fun. Donald's Boat just doesn't make the grade. It makes a great touch for scenery, but as an attraction, I think not.

3. s. s. Rustworthy, Disney's California Adventure
If you thought my description of Donald's Boat was a shocker, wait til you read my verdict on number three's Paradise Pier monstrosity. The s. s. Rustworthy is, first off, sponsored by the McDonald's steps away from the boat which gives you a big hint as to its downfall. The boat is basically a McDonald's play area, but in a Disney park. Parents can put their kids in the boat while they enjoy a nice quiet meal from, you ready, McDonald's! Secondly, there is no hint of Disney whatsoever on the thing. No Mickey Mouse ears, no Disney music, and certainly no happy characters swarming around it. Finally, why the heck would you stuff your kid in a boat that you can find at many playgrounds when you're at freaking Disneyland? It's not right.

2. Chip n Dale Treehouse, Disneyland
This Mickey's Toontown concept was taken straight from a place called Lonsdale Quay in North Vancouver and many IKEA stores. Create a giant glass room, fill it with plastic balls, add a slide, and only let children in. The result is a pre-pubescent romp through a mass of plastic. The only difference with this winner of an attraction is that the balls are shaped like acorns and you're in the home of a pair of cute chipmunks. It might be more fun if the kids-only policy was slackened a tad, but something tells me that parents would rather pull their nails out with pliers than watch a mass of children beat each other up with acorns. Plus, think of the germs. Ew.

1. Goofy's Playhouse, Disneyland
Number one goes to the Mickey Toontown creation of Goofy's Playhouse. The attraction is simply another popular yet another common attraction doctored up to seem more Disney-friendly. Basically, the Playhouse is a massive bouncy castle. You know the things you can rent cheaply for birthday parties? Yeah. Disney's trying to pass off one of those as Goofy's place of residence. I realize that some of the other attractions can get pretty expensive to run, but this is the Disney Corporation we're talking about. Given that you can't spend less than $3 on a drink there, the least they can do is make every attraction decently fun. Plus, like the Chip n Dale Treehouse, people over a certain height (meaning adults and people over like 10) can't go in. Lame.

Runner-Up: King Triton's Carousel
Since I had to figure out a runner-up, I went with Paradise Pier's King Triton's Carousel. Don't get me wrong, I love carousels. I think they're a deliciously corny addition to any theme park, but this one could be a bit more Disney-minded. Given that it refers to His Majesty, King Triton, one might assume you'd be riding on characters from The Little Mermaid. Disappointingly enough, no, there's nothing even close to the movie, besides the attraction name. While I appreciate that the carousel is extremely fitting for the boardwalk-inspired Paradise Pier, I simply can't get over the un-Disney feeling. I had the pleasure of riding on what seemed to be a cute otter one visit to the Park, and then the constant looking at me and grinning got really creepy. That's a photo I wish I hadn't taken. On a better note, the attraction is still worth going on if you want that old school boardwalk cheese.