10 New Year's Resolution Suggestions for Michael Richards

A lot of people, including me, were shocked by the recent bigoted remarks expressed by comedian Michael Richards. Up until that time, he had been a television icon, largely due to his over-the-top Cosmo Kramer character on the unforgettable "Seinfeld" television series.

He is not, however, the first Hollywood celebrity to disgrace himself with tacky, irrational conduct and, sadly, is unlikely to be the last.

I have some New Year's resolution suggestions for Mr. Michael Richards, which may help him be a lot more thoughtful in the future.

1. Be honest about your struggles with prejudice.

It may be politically correct for celebrities to act as though they don't suffer from the same social maladies that "regular" people do, but the reality is that the famous are still human beings.

Screaming out offensive racial slurs because you're angry at somebody is a clear indication that you may have some deeper issues regarding your perceptions of black people. Denying that you are a bigot, when your words have revealed otherwise, is not going to remedy the problem.

Be honest enough to admit that you may have some difficulties with your views of people from other ethnic groups.
Maybe you had this hostility buried somewhere deep down in your psyche and this incident caused it to be revealed.

Confessing to yourself that you struggle with fighting preconceived ideas you have about folks outside your own culture is the first step to turning things around, because then you can get help to reprogram your thinking.

2. Get to the root of your anger issues.

We all say stupid things, on occasion, when we get angry.

Given recent events, your main issue seems to be that you get very easily enraged. When you do, you appear to lose all self-control and launch into risky, out -of-control behavior. Much like an unexpected tornado, you mercilessly attack those in your path, not caring who you hurt when you are caught up in the moment of your fury.

Perhaps you're upset because your post-Seinfeld career has not gone the way you would have preferred. Perhaps you unconsciously see yourself as a "failure" because you don't feel you can ever equal the same success you had playing Kramer. Even "average" people forced to leave jobs that made them feel important deal with resentment and confusion.

Michael, you need to see a therapist to find out what's really going on with you, somebody who can help you with anger management, to save you from self-destruction.

3. If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.

Sure, I know this is a very old saying, but it still remains true.

If being a comedian is too much for you to deal with right now, then you may need to just step away for awhile.

Hecklers come with the territory, if you are a standup comedian, but it's a mark of your skill to learn how to ignore them or respond with a snappy comeback that is clever, not hateful.

If you are unable to deal with a heckler without going over the edge, maybe you ought to consider a career change. For example, you could remain in show business, but try doing some behind-the-camera work, where you won't come in as much contact with live audiences.

4. Show, don't just say you're sorry for hurting others.

Saying you're sorry when you offend others is a good start, but it's merely a first step.

My guess is that your recent outburst is probably not the only instance of your making insulting remarks to others. You may have hurt people close to you in more private settings, injured family members or friends with callous words and actions.

The thing about words is that you can't tell them back, no matter how many times you apologize, and the impact of what you've said still remains in the memories of those you sent them out to.

Even in 12-step programs, persons are expected to make a list of all those they have harmed and to be willing to make amends to them all. This is not something that can be achieved instantly, but something that is going to take time.

Make a point of going personally to the community you offended and letting them know you want to do everything you can to make up for your actions. Go to any family members or friends you may have hurt over time and go out of your way to actively do things to remedy the effects of your past conduct.

This will not be easy and not everyone will forgive you right away or at all, but you will have taken responsibility and that's what is most important.

5. Do some damage control.

You are going to have to face the public, whether you like it or not, in order to move forward. That will require a certain degree of humility.

Going on David Letterman was hard, I know, but it was necessary, because of how reprehensible your behavior was. He should by no means be the only place you go to express yourself.

Try calling influential people, like Oprah Winfrey and Larry King, and appealing to them to allow you to go on their television shows to speak out on this recent incident. Realize that you will be questioned and scrutinized and that you need to be real with people, because anything less than sincere contriteness will be quickly picked up by viewers and cause you further problems. Nobody likes a phony.

Being willing to put yourself out there and take the reactions of the public, even the bad ones, will prove that you want to make things right again.

6. Don't despise your past accomplishments.

Yes, Michael, your "Seinfeld" days are over and now relegated to the syndicated rerun universe.

Still, you need to be proud of your past accomplishments, instead of resenting them. You made millions of people across the world laugh and laughter is something people need a lot of nowadays.

Be proud of what you contributed and stop trying to distance yourself from it.

7. Get closer to those who really love you.

Fans always claim to "love" celebrities, but their so-called love is predicated on a carefully-crafted image projected by your publicist and the media. They do not know you on a personal level.

Reach out to relatives and good pals who have always cared about you, long before you became famous. These are the folks who always believed in you before and who will not walk away, even when you go through bad times.

Spend time with them and involve them in your healing process.

8. Do something to help others.

It really is true that doing something to help somebody else gets your focus off yourself.

Michael, you have so many financial resources to offer those who are less fortunate. There are a lot of people in the United States and across the world who need food, clothing, shelter and love. Your monetary contributions could ease the sufferings of many people.

You can also help folks one-on-one. There are so many people in hospitals and nursing homes who need somebody to make them laugh. Why not go visit some of these places?

Given your recent remarks, you also need to contribute time with organizations that help to deal with racism and its effects.
It wil help make you more aware of how prejudice hurts people.

9. Be thankful.

You have so much to be thankful for.

Too many people spend a lot of their lives looking at what they don't have instead of what they do have. I don't think celebrities are any less prone to doing this than we "regular" individuals.

Be thankful that you're alive and in good health. Be appreciative that you are blessed with financial abundance and not in need, like so many of your fellow Americans. Be thankful that you live in a country that has allowed you to be able to attain the success you have.

Learn to be thankful for even the smallest of things, from being able to see a sunset to being able to hear a bird's song.

Once you realize how much you have been blessed with, then it will help you be a lot less hostile and bitter towards others.

10. Educate yourself.

The fact that you said what you did during your unfortunate tirade makes it clear that you need to educate yourself on the history of the ethnic group you insulted.

Perhaps not knowing the full picture of their struggles and experiences has limited your understanding of just why you have gotten the response you have from the Black community.

It could be that you've drawn negative conclusions, based on media representations, which often portray people of color as criminals, welfare frauds or something else awful. The truth is that there are good and bad things in all groups.

Read books, talk to people who know about racism, etc., then next time around, you may learn to address hecklers or anyone else you disagree with without using racial epithets as a response.

Try these and then maybe you and the rest of the world can move on!