10 New Year's Resolutions Suggestions for Kathy Griffin

I really like Kathy Griffin. Her show "My Life on the D List" is very funny and very real. You do need a liberal sense of humor to understand her "attack" on the stars, but hey - she went to Iraq to entertain the troops and is a generous contributor to charities. She has guts. In a salute to Kathy's style, here are my suggestions:

#1- Referee a Charity Mud Wrestling Match Between Kelly Ripa and Clay Aiken
It's for charity! Surely both Ripa and Aiken are man enough for the challenge.

#2- Don't Show Your Underwear in Your Act Anymore
Since Brittany raised - um - eyebrows with her exhibitionism, you'll have to go commando now.

#3-Grow a Mustache
I don't know. You figure it out.

#4- Study Hard so You Can Move Up To The C- List
Make your folks proud. Tell them you'll be able to buy more wine in a box.

#5- Give Your Dogs their Own Spin-off Show
Don't be jealous of them. You can probably talk them into sharing their residuals.

#6- Run A Marathon 3-Legged Style with Flava Flav
Because you'll be able to keep an eye on the time. Next year challenge Oprah to a marathon with her
strapped to your back.

#7- Adopt Lindsey, Paris, Nicole and Brittany
Hey- you know they could all use some gentle but firm guidance. Take them on your next tour of Iraq.

#8- Get Plastic Surgery So You Have A Show for the Discovery Health Channel
Well your knuckles don't look as young as they used to. And your feet? Please!

#9- Make A Rap Music Video With Snoop Dog
He wears the bikini and shakes his booty.

#10-Claim You Are Carrying Larry King's Love Child
I saw your last interview with him. He was totally into you.