100 Bottles of Beer - a Personal Tragedy

The date is May 16, 1998. It is a Saturday and I have gone to the Home Brew shop to purchase ingredients for my next brew, Pauwel Kwak, or Belgian Coachman's Ale. I intended to brew this the next day on Sunday. I did not get to it because my life was about to take a profound, tragic change.

Nancy, my wife, had gotten me started on this home brewing odyssey by giving me my first home brew kit for Christmas in 1994. Now, over three years later, she had been battling cancer for several months. She had endured two surgeries, chemotherapy, and two trips to the National Cancer Institute at Bethesda Naval Medical Center in Maryland. Through it all she had maintained a positive cheerful attitude.

This particular Saturday was a very good day for her. She felt better than she had in a long time and wanted to make barbeque ribs for dinner. Normally, any kind of activity would tire her out very quickly, but not today, she had some new found energy. She prepared the dinner herself, two full racks of baby-back ribs, a side dish, and I think there was even a salad. The ribs were fall-off-the-bone perfect.

We all enjoyed the dinner, Nancy, myself, our son Doug, who was eleven at the time, and my mother, who was visiting to help out with things. Nancy had just filled up her plate with a second helping of ribs when she said, "Oh shoot, now I have to go to the bathroom."

She bounced up the stairs to the bathroom as if nothing was wrong. A minute or two after she closed the door we heard a thump on the floor. I ran up the stairs and into the bathroom. She had hemorrhaged and passed out on the floor. She was just coming to and was unsure what had happened. I helped get her cleaned up and into our bed. I called her doctor. She was out of town for the weekend and unavailable, so I called the hospice nurse.

When the nurse arrived she checked Nancy over and advised us she may not make it through the night. The nurse stayed with us all night and was amazed when Nancy dug deep into her will and found some more of the energy she had earlier in the day. She seemed to be bouncing back from this spell. But it was not to be. She slept fitfully and restlessly through the night and by morning was struggling to breath.

At approximately 6:30 AM Sunday, May 17, 1998, I watched helplessly as Nancy, my wife of 14 years and 12 days, left us...

The following week was a blur of friends and family, arrangements and services, and a eulogy given by my brother Darrell who had participated in the Christmas gift. Catered meals were provided by my employer. I had to tell my co-workers to stop, enough food already; and tell family members to stop cleaning the house and doing things for me and Doug. It was time for us to be alone and sort out this new reality, this new family unit we had become.

I went back to work after three weeks but then, a week later, took a three month leave of absence for the summer. It was bonding time for me, Doug, and our dog Oscar. Funny thing about that dog, the whole time Nancy was sick, he wouldn't leave her side except to eat, poop, and maybe occasionally chase the cat. He was never the same after she died. Oscar left us a few months ago to go be with Nancy again.

One of the first things I did in the week after all the friends and family went back to their lives was get back to mine. I brewed the beer I had planned to brew on Sunday. It was therapeutic. It brought back a sense of normalcy. It was what she would have wanted me to do.

This recipe comes from another of Charlie Papazian's books, Home Brewer's Gold. This book describes the Gold, Silver, and Bronze winners of the 1996 World Beer Cup Competition and gives recipes for making a home brew clone of the Gold Medal winners. Charlie gives both an all-grain recipe and a mash-extract recipe for each one. Pauwel Kwak was the Gold winner in Category 31: Belgian Style Strong Ale. This was my 50^th home brew. I used slightly more mash water than Charlie specified but other than that it is exactly per his recipe and instructions.

Pauwel Kwak

6 lbs M&F Plain Amber DME

1 1/2 lbs Belgian Pilsner malt

3 1/2 lbs Belgian Munich malt

1/2 oz English Challenger hop pellets (60 min)

1/2 oz Styrian Goldings hops plug (15 min)

1/3 oz Czech Saaz hop pellets (15 min)

1/4 tsp Irish Moss (15 min)

Wyeast 1214 Belgian ale yeast

Priming: ¾ cup corn sugar & ¼ cup DME

Do a step infusion mash as follows:

Heat 6 quarts water to 140F and add to grains and stir well. Stabilize temperature at 133F and cover and hold for 30 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add 2 ½ quarts boiling water and stir. Add heat as needed to stabilize at 150F. Cover and hold for 60 minutes, stirring occasionally. Raise temperature to 167F and lauter and sparge with 2 gallons 170F water. This was the first use of my home made 2 bucket lauter-tun as described in part 13.

Collect three gallons of wort, add DME and bring to a boil, adding hops and Irish moss at times indicated for a total 60 minute boil. Remove hop bags and let drain through strainer back into kettle. Pour wort into carboy with 2 gallons cold water and top to 5 ½ gallons with more cold water. Aerate wort by sloshing the carboy vigorously and pitch yeast when cooled.

I got some vigorous fermentation activity for four days before racking to a secondary. I left it in the secondary just over three weeks, which was too long, before I bottled it.

This turned out excellent. It was a beautiful amber-red color with very minimal chill haze. A definite Belgian style flavor and the carbonation was right on. The only complaint, if you can call it that, was the alcohol level was higher than anticipated. This stuff would knock you on your butt! I once again did not take any gravity readings but Charlie's targets were OG 1.079 and FG 1.014 for about 8% ABV. I honestly believe it was stronger than that.

I did a remake of Pauwel Kwak about five years later, changing the malts due to availability, increasing the hops, and using a blend of two Belgian Abbey ale yeasts.

Pauwel Kwak II

6 lbs M&F Plain Amber DME

1 1/2 lbs German Pilsner malt

3 1/2 lbs American Munich malt

1 oz English Challenger hop pellets (60 min)

1 oz Styrian Goldings hops pellets (15 min)

1/2 oz Czech Saaz hop pellets (15 min)

1/2 oz Czech Saaz hop pellets (5 min)

1/4 tsp Irish Moss (15 min)

Wyeast 1214 Belgian Abbey ale yeast

UCCS 1762 Belgian Abbey II

Priming: ¾ cup corn sugar & ¼ cup DME

The process was identical to the first Kwak with a couple exceptions. I collected 3 ½ gallons of wort from the sparge, added 1 gallon of boiling water to the kettle along with the DME, and added another gallon at the end of the boil to bring the volume up to 5 ½ gallons. I then cooled with an immersion chiller before pouring into fermenter.

I pitched two yeasts because the Wyeast 1214 smack-pack was not getting started fast enough. So, I pitched the UCCS 1762 first. The UCCS yeast, I believe, is only available in the Colorado Springs area. It is produced at the brewing lab at University of Colorado - Colorado Springs which, I believe, was originally funded by Coors. They are clones of the Wyeast varieties and a few special strains requested by the local home brew shops. It is quality yeast packaged in vials containing a pitchable quantity. I have never had a problem with it except that I would rather see White Labs pitchable vials available locally. I have to go to Denver to get those.

I pitched the 1214 the following day when it was ready. I got a strong fermentation for four days before racking to secondary and bottled after 12 more days.

This beer did not have much Belgian character to begin with as the hops were perhaps a bit strong for the style. But, as it aged, the hop bitterness leveled off and the Belgian yeast became more apparent. It ended up just as good as the first although different.

I did take an OG reading on this one, 1.080, but for some reason neglected to take an FG reading. I suspect it was similar to Charlie's targets on the original recipe.

OK, that's two very similar versions of a classic Belgian style leaving us with 49 bottles still on the shelf.

Thanks for letting me indulge in a little personal catharsis. This is my personal journey through my craft and Nancy was a very important part of it. Home brewing helped me through a difficult time. Yes, I did try drinking my way through it as well. That did not help. Only the creative process and continuing what she had helped me start got me through.

Hold your loved ones close, and...

Keep on Brewin...

References:

Charlie Papazian, Home Brewer's Gold, First Edition, December 1997