103-year Old Texting Message? Turn of the Century LOL!

On a couple of occasions I felt I'd gone back in time when I recently visited my Father-in-law's home up in Thomasville, Georgia. The pace is much easier there, some of the buildings and homes are rustic and crumbling. The weather, pleasant and mild. And when a 103-yr old cook books materializes, let the fun begin!

I was chatting with my Father-in-law out in the garage when my wife came out holding a dilapidated pamphlet. Yellowed with age, the pages dog-eared. Holes show where moths have stopped by for a bite. A large water stain covers the bottom third of the book.

"Look at this," she says, displaying the cover. "If U R Not Our Customer B 1".

"Huh," I responded, "that almost sounds like..."

"It sounds like texting!" she finished for me.

I took a look at the cover. It displayed itself as, "The Best Yet Cook Book". Price 35 cents. Publication: 1907 in Marietta, Ohio by the S.A. Mullikin Company. That would have been five years before the Titanic sank. This was one ancient book.

Flipping inside the brittle pages, there are simple, text-type ads and recipes.

The main page boasts: "The Best Yet COOK BOOK. An every day guide, for the millions -- to economical and practical cooking. A Large Variety of Domestic Recipes Selected and Tested by a Committee of Kentucky Women Experienced in the Science of Cooking."

The Bank of Quitman advertises: "A general banking business is conducted, along strictly conservative lines. Savings Department pays 4 per cent interest, compounded quarterly. $1 starts an account. Safe Deposit Boxes for Rent--$3 to $7.50 per annum. Accounts of Ladies and Children are specially solicited, and every attention and assistance rendered them. We invite you to call."

The first page of recipes includes an almost scientific type explanation on the proper preparation of coffee and tea:

Beverages: "Boiling water is a very important desideratum in the making of a good cup of coffee or tea, but the average housewife is very apt to overlook this fact. Do not boil the water more than three or four minutes; longer boiling ruins the water for coffee or tea-making, as most of its natural properties escape by evaporation, leaving a very insipid liquid, composed mostly of lime and iron, that would ruin the best coffee, and give the tea a dark, dead look, which ought to be the reverse. Water left in the teakettle over night must never be used for preparing the breakfast coffee; no matter how excellent your coffee or tea may be, it will be ruined by the addition of water that has been boiled more than once."

Further in, I spotted this surprising procedure:

Substitute for Cream in Coffee. "Beat the white of an egg, put to it a small lump of butter and pour the coffee into it gradually, stirring it so that it will not curdle. It is difficult to distinguish this from fresh cream."

Check out the specific time instructions on this one:

Light Rolls for Breakfast. "At three o'clock in the afternoon, sift three cups of flour, one scant teaspoon baking powder, one teaspoon salt, and one of sugar into a bucket. Dissolve one-half cake of compressed yeast in one cup of tepid milk, make a hole in the flour and pour the milk in, but do not stir. Take flour from around the edges and throw over the top. Set this in a warm place until nine o'clock at night; knead, make into rolls, place in well-greased pan; cover with pan and keep in moderately warm room. Bake for breakfast"

Notice the measurement specifics and time constraints. I wonder how "quick" is quick, or how big that teacup is!

Muffins. "One pint flour, sifted with two heaping teaspoonfuls of Royal Baking Powder, piece of butter half as large as an egg, one egg, three tablespoons of sugar, one teacupful of sweet milk; bake very quick; have muffin tins well warmed beforehand."

Sandwiched (yes, pun intended) in the middle, between cooking fish and cooking meats, is a page labeled: "Husbands". And when I read the first line, it had me busting up.

A Recipe for Cooking Husbands. "One of the lecturers before the Baltimore Cooking School recently gave this recipe for cooking husbands:
'A good many husbands are utterly spoiled by mismanagement. Some women go about it as if their husbands were bladders, and blow them up. Others keep them constantly in hot water. Others let them freeze by their carelessness and indifference. Some keep them in a stew, by irritating ways and words; others roast them. Some keep them in pickle all their lives. It can not be supposed that any husband will be tender and good, managed in this way, but they are really delicious when properly treated.

"In selecting your husband, you should not be guided by the silvery appearance, as in buying a mackerel, nor by the golden tint, as if you wanted a salmon. Be sure to select him yourself, as tastes differ. Do not go to market for him, as the best are always brought to your door. It is far better to have none, unless you will patiently learn how to cook him..."

Apparently this next section on "cooking husbands" was important to the original cook book owner, as the paragraph is marked with brackets using a pencil:

"A preserving kettle of the finest porcelain is best, but if you have nothing but an earthen ware pipkin it will do with care. See that the linen in which you wrap him is nicely washed and mended, with the required number of buttons, strings tightly sewed on. Tie him in the kettle by a strong silk cord called Comfort, as the one called Duty is apt to be weak."

Another advertisement comes along. I love the diversity of this place... and only a three digit phone number:

Quitman Furniture and Vehicle Company. Furniture, Buggies, Wagons, Coffins, Caskets, Cook Stoves, Etc. LICENSED UNDERTAKERS AND EMBALMERS. Phone 117.

Duke's. If you want anything you can't find --go to-- Duke's Ten Cent Store

Quitman Clothing Company. The one price house. Requests the Ladies to send their husbands to us if you would have the husbands look well.

I guess for those kinds of folks that have a hard time with cooking, finding an advertisement like this was likely refreshing:

The Quitman Bakery. Fancy Groceries, Fresh Bread. Cakes, Fruits and Confectioneries. When you fail on these recipes give your orders to the old reliable.

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We've come a long way in our cook books and "text message speak". With our BFFs (Best Friends Forever) and LOLs (Laugh Out Loud). And while I still find it hard to believe that an egg white and butter can taste like coffee cream, I have seen the fun in communicating with our modern day text messages. Why, I've even written on praying for folks via text messages!

So, love on the friends around you. Make them a cup of coffee or tea. Serve up some fresh muffins real quick.

And if U R not a BFF... B 1.