12-step Programs: The Good, the Bad and the Outrageous

First as the subject was explained to me: drug use causes a person to have "dulled emotions." He went on to add that all that's really left are the "primal instincts" of fear and rage.

Second, as stated in "the Big Book": "alcoholism is when the emotions fail to reach the stature of the intellect." Meaning the huge segment of individuals who started their "drinking careers" as kids have remained thus stunted. You will see many middle-agers "acting as if" they were adolescents-- having put the years in which they should have been "growing up" into drinking and/or "using," and therefore never attaining the emotional stature of adults. In addition, the brain cells that were destroyed by substance abuse do not "repair."

Something which 12-Step Programs do not like to admit is that "the Programs" do not change these facts-- neither time nor time spent in "meetings" will bring a person's full range of normal emotions back to their appropriate level, nor diminish the reliance on and extremes of "primal instincts," nor lead an individual to one's appropriate level of emotional growth.

That is "part A" of the subject. "Part B" is even worse...

The next fact which "Programs" brush under the rug is that neither time nor time spent in their meetings can do "jack" in terms of the so-called "underlying issues and causes" which were the strongest contributing factor in people's reliance on drugs/alcohol in the first place. A very high percentage (no pun intended) of those who find themselves in 12-Step Programs are a) survivors of various types of serious childhood abuse, and b) possess the mental and emotional consequences thereof-- and 12-Step Programs will not change, fix, or resolve either of those factors. While the Programs do have a benefit-- interacting with others-- there are two extremely serious drawbacks: first, a person may easily become dependent on the Programs, almost as if it is yet another addiction; and second, a person who becomes enmeshed in "Programs" may delude himself into believing that it is "recovery" from the issues and the complications associated with it-- or, as the saying goes, they're "in denial," believing that attending meetings and "sharing at the tables" is an adequate and successful replacement for the professional help that they actually need.

The facts which the Programs do want people to be aware of, however, are much different-- read their literature, for it paints a very different picture than the hogwash that's frequently passed around by Program members themselves.

One of the most important facts spelled out in their basic materials is that no one in the Programs, be they "oldtimers" (long-sober longtime members) or Sponsors can claim any degree of authority, for they have no qualifications by which to do so. Sponsors are said to do and/or be nothing more than one's "guide through the Steps" assisting their Sponsees with understanding what each is about and how to proceed correctly; they clearly state that a Sponsor has no qualifications as counselors, doctors, or other professionals, and should not attempt to assume such a role or sway a newcomer from seeking professional assistance. The Big Book also specifically states that no Program member has any authority or ability to "diagnose" whether or not someone else is an alcoholic; and the Narcotics Anonymous texts concur in terms of drug addiction-- only the person himself/herself knows the answer. For all Program members, including Oldtimers, their "place" is limited to one very clearly and frequently stated: to share one's "strength, hope, and experience." Consequently, that is the main purpose of Meetings-- for each person to bring out "what worked for me."

As one of the main themes of Narcotics Anonymous is "We can, and do, recover!" and its Alcoholics Anonymous counterpart, frequently even chimed at Meetings: "Happy, Joyous, and Free!" sound good in theory, compare it to what actually takes place in Meetings, or with interactions between members outside of Meetings-- both in terms of longtime Program members and their approach to others. As for the first problem, I challenge you to find any Oldtimer to whom you can point out the words written in the Basic Text, who will acknowledge it as a fact-- they flatly refuse to acknowledge that they or anyone else "can recover," will go as far as to counter that statement with insistence that anyone who does believe it is "in denial," that one must spend the rest of one's lifetime "recoverING" and "in recoverY," the exact opposite of what their Programs teach. Consequently, if you express that you are indeed "Happy, Joyous, and Free," Oldtimers will shake their heads sadly, thinking that you are so far "in denial" that you are probably lost forever. What exactly is the point or purpose of these Programs when people dismiss their most basic concepts and principles?

Similarly, the frightening but unfortunately very real consideration "if you are a drug addict, you want to believe that everyone else is one, too." One can change the term/word to whatever is applicable-- many Program members feel such a need to believe that everyone is like them that they will go to amazing extremes in attempting to affix such labels on others, with no concern as to whether or not it is relevant. Many display a nearly cult-like fervor in trying to gain new "recruits" into the Programs, having no issue about the possibility that perhaps a person does not belong there. If you, also, are in the category of people who have no need of 12-Step Programs, I challenge you to attend some Open Meetings and see what happens! You can attend a Meeting solely from curiosity; you can be there to use their rest-room or to get out of the rain; but you will be confronted with the mentality that yes, of course you need a Program, that yes, of course you have whatever 'problem' the group members have-- but if you 'just don't see it yet,' it is their place to convince you of 'what you really are, and what is really wrong with you.' Meaning "out the door" with another of the 12-Step Programs' basic concepts-- Oldtimers who have serious problems have such a need to believe that 'everybody' has those problems too, takes precedence over what is clearly spelled out in the main literature of their Programs: no one has the ability to discern whether or not someone else is an addict or an alcoholic. So again, what is the point or purpose of these Programs when even those who have been there the longest ignore the basic concepts and principles?

The bottom line is that the point and purpose of these Programs is written very clearly in the Program material itself-- the material is straightforward about what the Programs are, and what they are not; what members can do, cannot do, and should not do; and when they attempt to drag "everybody-and-their-dog-Spot" into the Programs, pointing out everything they "perceive" to be wrong with you and what you must do about it, they are ignoring the most basic and essential facts of their Programs.