15 Things Cheaters Say and Do

Most of us have had the misfortune of experiencing a cheating significant other, but perhaps some warning signs are in order! "Things Cheaters Say" is a hot topic on twitter these days, and there are some pretty clever excuses floating around out there. I have compiled a list of the 15 most common (and most ridiculous) things cheaters say according to those who have experienced a cheater first-hand.

15. "Are you going to believe her over me?" - Unless she is the crazy girl who has hated me since high school, then yes, I probably will believe her over you. Why would she lie?

14."I was drunk!" - Unless you were drugged and you have the medical records to prove it, this is the lamest excuse I've ever heard. If you can't control yourself when you're drunk, the least you can do is control how much you drink.

13. "You read into things too much." - This is another way of saying "You use too much common sense."

12. "That's not a hickey, it's an injury from (insert ridiculous event here)." I don't know what you are doing with your buddies or a vacuum cleaner that would result in a hickey-like bruise on your neck, but I want no part of it.

11."I didn't know what I was doing." - Wrong, you knew exactly what you were doing, and if you didn't, well I should probably break up with you for someone more intelligent anyways.

10. "You have trust issues." - Yes I do, and it's because you cheated on me...

9. "She's just a friend!" - Well I certainly hope you don't cuddle naked with your guy friends, too.

8. "I took extra hours at work tonight." - You are the laziest person I know, you definitely are not working late tonight. You are either cheating on me, or ditching me for another ridiculous activity, which I will have to assume is at least as bad as figure skating and/or a pillow fight with your guy friends. At this point, I might find it entirely possible that you do snuggle naked with them.

7. Cheaters are always secretive about their phone, email, Facebook, etc. - I don't want your Facebook password just to check up on you randomly, because that is just ridiculous, but if you tilt your phone away from me when you get a text, I would be an idiot if I didn't think something was up (unless it was my birthday or Christmas, of course).

6.Getting offended easily - If you're defensive about literally everything I say, you're either cheating or too irritating for me to deal with.

5."You should go out with your friends tonight, I'll stay home." - This isn't an immediate indicator, but if you hate my friends and hate it when I hang out with them, something is definitely up.

4."You are too jealous!" - You're right, I'll take the blame for this one. I guess it's my fault that I didn't read the fine print that states I am required to share you with girls you meet at the bar.

3. "She forced herself on me." -This is called rape, and you should probably report the incident to the police.

2. "My friends can vouch for me." - It is probably not that difficult to get your guy friends to lie to me about where you were last night, especially if they are the same "friends" with whom you cuddle naked. Sorry, but I'm not exactly inclined to believe them.

1. Cheaters never want to have sex with you - unless there is a medical problem I should know about, you must be getting it somewhere else.

Sources:
www.twitter.com
www.thefrisky.com