15 Things Every Guy Should Do Before He Settles Down

1. Learn to communicate. Once you learn this skill the world will literally and figuratively be at your feet.

2. Charm as many women as you can.

3. Live on a boat and visit as many ports as possible. This experience is enhanced when you bring along a number of young, beautiful travel companions.

4. Marry a few starter wives so that when a truly good woman comes along you won't blow it. Make sure you have pre-nups and no joint bank accounts.

5. Spend a wedding night with the new wife that you just met and her best friend. (Obviously long before he settled down.)

6. Spend as much time as you can fishing and hunting in Alaska. This experience is unmatched when you do it at the end of the earth.

7. Ride your Harley cross-country.

8. Cruise around with your best buddy and say the most off-the-wall sh*! to everyone. The object of this exercise is not to get you're a$$ whooped, but to make everybody laugh.

9. Go to Vegas and party with strippers all night for as long as you can get away with it.

10. Blow money on foolish things that make you happy. One day you'll realize that true happiness comes from being surrounded by quality people who genuinely care for you. This won't cost a penny but can't be bought for all the money in the world.

11. Drink and party until your wheels fall off. Get it out of your system so you won't ever feel like you're missing something that isn't something to be missed.

12. Do every stupid, fool-hearty thing that would make your mother's hair stand on end if she had clue one about what you were into. If you kill yourself you aren't meant to reproduce.

13. Learn how to recognize a good woman. Unfortunately, you will most likely be up to your eyeballs in chaff before you realize the wheat you've been ignoring has been standing right in front of you all along.

14. Learn how to be a real man: put your partner first and live to make her happy. If you choose a quality woman to marry (see 13) then her happiness will come from seeing you feel like you are "the man."

15. Learn the phrase, "Yes dear" ...and mean it when you say it.

You will most likely end up madly in love and committed for life to your best friend, a woman who will hold your hand and your heart until death parts you.