16 Attitudes that Keep the Abortion Debate Polarized

Polarizing politics: the process by which elected officials encourage a black-and-white, divisive stance on an issue, thus assuring that they will gain votes by taking up a certain side of the argument.

One great example of this can be seen with abortion. When I look at the abortion debate as it stands now, both sides seem to be stuck in a stalemate. It's become an issue we can't talk about, except with people we know agree with our own viewpoint 100%. Every day, the matter becomes more polarized, more taboo, and thus, more frozen in a state of unchanging, controversy-laden stagnation.

It's easy to see how we got here: belligerence, intolerance, and a straight up lack of common sense. Personally, I believe we can put aside division on this issue and start to make real progress in how we handle it. But first, there are a few common attitudes we need to set aside:

1. Saying things like, "No one's going to be interested in the abortion debate right now, what with the economy being so bad," or slightly more observant people who say, "I can't believe people are so interested in the abortion debate, what with the economy being so bad!"

Reality check, people: inability to afford to raise a child is THE single most common reason that women choose to have abortions. This is why, in spite of the recent Republican reign of power (including many anti-abortion legislative measures and abstinence-only education), abortion rates have been higher during the 2000s than they were during the 1990s.

2. Talking about helping expectant mothers choose to carry a pregnancy to term without discussing the stigma placed on single mothers - or for that matter, any woman/couple who gives up a child for adoption - and how to end it. And no, it doesn't count if you're going to be kindly religiously judgmental. If a single woman decided to carry an unintended pregnancy to term for the sake of adoption, she should be able to do it without being considered some kind of "reformed sinner." Likewise, if a married woman does the same, she should be able to do it without having it reflect negatively on her and her husband.

3. Anti-birth control sentiment. Being anti-abortion can be an ethical position. Being anti-birth control is pure theocratic nonsense. If you want to abstain from using it, fine, but you need to leave the rest of us alone.

4. Messing around in public policy without understanding the medical, legal, and logistical realities of what they're trying to do. "Fertilized eggs are people!" legislation is a prime example of this (like the ballot measure that was recently struck down here in CO by a margin of 3 to 1). Fertilized eggs are not pregnancies: in fact, they are naturally (meaning, without birth control) flushed from a woman's system half the time they occur. Are we going to try to track this and issue social security numbers, death certificates, etc., for all these incidents?

5. Being on one side of the issue but utterly unable to understand the point of view of the other side. As adamantly pro-choice as I am, I understand that this is tricky ethical question. I expect both pro-choicers and pro-lifers to have enough intelligence and respect for productive discourse that they understand that whatever position you take in the end, it is only logical to agree on two things:

a) the prospect of ending what may be a human life is and should be a weighty matter under any circumstances and that which is a human person has a right to live...

and

b) there is a scientific basis for doubting the "personhood" of an early fetus and women have rights over their own bodies.

6. Being pro-life, but not recognizing that a great deal of the pro-life movement is based in sexism and misogyny.

7. Being pro-choice, but not recognizing that not all pro-life positions are based in sexism and misogyny.

8. Wanting to make abortion a crime, but only punish the doctors who perform it. 'Cause, you know, all abortion doctors are men and women are morally weak and can't be held responsible for all those emotional decisions they're going to make. Your sexism is really showing if you hop on this bandwagon, so you might want to work on that.

9. Wanting to make abortion illegal, but make exceptions for "the rape of virgins." Virgins? Are you freaking kidding me? If you're saying abortion is murder, what are we supposed to conclude? That it's okay for virgins to get a "one murder free" coupon for being "good" girls (according to your religion, which is not my damn religion)?

10. Denial of the existence of misogyny on the pro-"choice" side of the argument. Yes, Virginia, there ARE people who use coercive means to force women to abort when they don't want to. There are certainly men who will take matters into their own hands if their wives and girlfriends make the choice they don't want.

11. The "women use abortion as birth control just because they don't care," argument. Even assuming that all women who have abortions don't give five minutes thought to the ethical considerations, do you really believe they'd all rather spend several hundred dollars and get an uncomfortable procedure done than spring for a few bucks worth of condoms? Get. Real.

12. The attitudes of people who want more unwanted pregnancies to result in adoption, but are, at the same time, trying to prevent adoption by unmarried people and same-sex couples. You know, guys, you're having kinda a tough time convincing me that you're really trying to "save babies" rather than push a religious agenda at any cost when you pull stuff like this.

13. The attitude of pro-choicers who make flippant jokes about abortion and insult childbirth and mothers. Implying that abortion is okay because killing babies doesn't matter (rather than arguing that it's not "killing babies"), referring to fetuses as "parasites," etc., or railing on and on about how they don't want to have kids and consider themselves superior to those who do. I get it, already. Grow up and show some respect for other human beings.

14. The nearly complete and utter lack of talk about expanding our understanding of and access to adoption options, including the various levels of open adoptions that are possible. It's not just "kiss your baby goodbye and never see it again," - there are a lot of choices, including varying levels of contact and agencies that specialize in putting birth moms in touch with loving gay and lesbian parents.

15. The nearly complete and utter lack of talk about how very, very difficult nature makes it for a new mother to give up her baby. People who so lightly advocate adoption as an alternative to abortion don't seem to have any understanding of how painfully difficult it us to give up the baby that your body has been spending the last nine months making. I'm not saying adoption can't be a viable alternative for some women, but you can't keep presenting it as a simple, painless way to avoid a total unnecessary abortion.

16. Misinformation campaigns of all kinds. If your opinion is right, you'll know it because you won't need to use lies to make it acceptable to others.