20 Sick Leave Excuses
This is a humorous look at sick leave excuses.
Here are some of those excuses that I may or may not have used myself at one time or another; or have heard used by other work colleagues and or people I know:
1. Employee: Sorry Boss I cannot come in today I have got stuck in traffic on my way home from London. I realize I should have set off earlier to get home in time for work today. I assure you I did this at 5pm yesterday, but you know what it is like when it snows in the UK. The traffic stops on the motorway.
Boss: But it has not snowed today.
Employee: I know this; I only realized that my windscreen needed cleaning about 10 minutes ago. I'm afraid that I am still 300 miles away in London; there is no chance I will make it back.
2. I have a really contagious strain of diarrhea and I really should not come in as you might contract it.
3. I have vaginal pain!
4. Isn't it Sunday, why are you calling me?
5. I was wrongly arrested for a driving offence!
6. I'm sorry I am not at home right now I left for work an hour ago. *Beep*
7. I have memory loss... who are you again?
8. You said during the party last night that I could have the week off; I didn't want to take liberties so I decided on just a day. I hope you don't mind me not taking the full week?
9. *Don't answer the telephone and turn up at work next day as if nothing happened.*
10. My Sat Nav has broken, I am in Alberta (use any state or city) somewhere!
11. You really should consider changing the hire car company Boss, this Toyota is useless.
12. Harry said he was covering my shift, take it up with him!
13. I'm trying my best to get fired!
14. Due to the current recession I cannot afford the bus fare.
15. I'm at work... I just stepped out for lunch.
16. My agoraphobia is playing up again.
17. Why what time is it?
18. I came on today... (menstrating)
19. I had a tire blow out on the way in... the tow company say it could be an hour or two before they get out to me.
20. How can you be so insensitive? It's my cat's funeral today... *click*
I do not condone the use of any excuses relating to a day off work... Common sense is advised.
Published by The Portland Journal
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