200 Male Sexual Abuse Survivors Stand Together on "Oprah"

The largest effort ever demonstrated on television. 200 men stand together and share their stories of survival. Each man held in their hand a photo of themselves at the age their abuse occurred. Tyler Perry appeared on the show to share his story. His abuse began at the age of five. This is a silent epidemic that often never gets resolved due the victims living in shame. Many who appeared on the episode were motivated to share their stories in hopes of helping other men to release the shame and fear of speaking out on their abuse.

This episode made known the surprising statistic that approximately one in six men is sexually abused before age 16 (1in6.org). Statistics would not matter when you have twin boys and they have both been sexually abused for 13 years. Patrick and Kevin were abused starting around the time they were in third grade attending Catholic school. Their abuser, a Catholic priest targeted them because they were known to be mischievous and thought no one would believe them. He would give their teachers and parents excuses to pull them out of class and from home on weekends. He lied that they were needed to help assist with Mass or a funeral. There were instances where they were sexually abused by other priests and told to perform acts with each other for their abuser to watch. As the boys grew older their abuser would pay them money as a way of buying their silence. Their parents became suspicious as they saw the boys buying nice clothing and items and decided to have the phones tapped. They recorded phone conversations between them and the priest. After several years their parents finally discovered the truth.

What about when a perpetrator is in your own family? Chad was sexually abused by his father at age seven. He indicated that he was abused every time his mother left him alone with his father. I was puzzled when he also described being in some near situations where his father had abused him in close proximity when his mother was at home and also in a hotel room during a family vacation with his mother and sister sleeping nearby. As I listened to his story, I was already prejudiced in my mind that his mother must have known the abuse was going on. Chad is now 30 years old. His mother is still with his father. The Oprah show did make contact with Chad's father by phone. Chad's father did admit to abusing him.

Patrick is now a married father of two. Chad also has two sons. Both share a distrust and resentment towards people and do not trust people around their children. Chad allows his mother to see his sons but has stipulated other rules to not have his sons around his father alone.

Jim Hopper PhD (jimhopper.com) has set up an easy to use website giving advice to men who have been abused and the people who care about them. Oprah's guest expert Dr. Fradken emphasized how molesters have a way of engendering your trust in them. You are so manipulated into thinking things will get better or will be different next time and often things get worse.

If you missed this show, the story is not yet over. On November 12, women and partners in these 200 men's lives come back to the show to them talk more about the after effects and problems they battle with. Dr. Fradkin will also return to discuss the permanent impact that childhood sexual abuse can have on its victims.