2007-2008 NFL Season Preview (Part II)

In this part, we will analyze the regular season. By the end of this article, you will know: a)Who will win each division, b)Which two teams will snag the wild card spots, and c) ***SPOILER ALERT*** the Detroit Lions are still the Detroit Lions, and no matter how good Calvin Johnson is, the guy throwing to him is still Jon Kitna. ***END SPOILER***

In Part 3, to come in the next day or so, I will break down the playoffs with the teams that I have said will make it. What this means for you: By August 20th, 2007, you will know who will win Super Bowl XLII. For free.

Without further ado:

NFC EAST

Dallas Cowboys
Tony Romo might have been hot soup last year, but that was only because everybody and their mother planned on seeing a 40-year old Drew Bledsoe instead of a slightly faster, younger Drew Bledsoe. There's a reason Bledsoe never won a Super Bowl, he's not a big game QB. Ergo, if Tony Romo is the poor man's Drew Bledsoe, he'll be lucky to win a playoff game in his career.

Record: 8-8, 3rd place in the NFC East

New York Giants
As stated in Part I, this is Eli's year. He's got the confidence, and he;s ready to take his game to the next level. I also think that their defense won't get the attention it did in the past without Michael Strahan, but it will be just fine. Mathias Kiwanauka is going to wreck shop this year. He was in the middle of every play last year, and he made a couple of rookie mistakes, which happened to cost them at least one game. This year, he'll be in the plays the same, but he won't be making those rookie mistakes.

Record: 12-4, 1st place in the NFC East

Philadelphia Eagles
First they lose T.O., then long ball receiver Donte Stallworth, then backup QB Jeff Garcia. But they still have Donovan McNabb, and he should be healthy. I hope he does, for their sake, cause their backup is Tony Romo Jr., Kevin Kolb. But defense always wins game, and thanks to a pretty weak schedule, it should win about ten.

Record: 10-6, 2nd place in NFC East

Washington Redskins
Jason Campbell is going to be a great quarterback. If he stays healthy (meaning Mark Brunell doesn't play) they should do okay, and Campbell will have a breakout year. Santana Moss is good, but Randle El is past his prime, and the defense is losing their touch with each passing week. Another losing season for the Redskins.

Record: 7-9, 4th place in NFC East

NFC WEST

Arizona Cardinals
They've got the talent (Matt Leinart, Larry Fitzgerald, Edgerrin James) but they're missing something. I'm not really sure what that it, maybe Matt Leinart is just paying his dues since he only lost two games in college.

Record: 5-11, 4th place in NFC West

San Francisco 49ers
This summer, my uncle, who is a huge 49ers fan, greeted me with this: "You hear about the NFL? Its gonna be shutdown for the next few years." My first thought was that a strike was coming. But no, he explains to be that the 49ers were back baby. And he was right. Alex Smith is coming into his own. Frank Gore is going to make a serious run at the MVP, and second year tight end Vernon Davis is going to destroy the NFC West. Last year they were one Seattle loss away from the playoffs, and the Seahawks are worse, the 49ers better.

Record: 11-5, 1st place in NFC West

Seattle Seahawks
Their window has slammed shut faster than they could believe. Hasselbeck is getting dangerously close to being incredibly washed up, and Sean Alexander isn't getting any younger. They got swept by the 49ers last year, and this time an easy win against Arizona won't propel them into the playoffs.

Record: 7-9, 3rd place in the NFC West

St. Louis Rams
They just inked Marc Bulger to a huge extension, who is the football equivalent of glass of lukewarm water. He has good stats, he just isn't exciting, nor is he a game breaking QB. This makes the Rams as boring as the San Antonio Spurs, minus the titles. Another winning season without a playoff berth. Sorry St. Louis, but you just got a World Series victory. That'll have to hold you for a while.

Record: 9-7, 2nd place in NFC West

NFC NORTH

Chicago Bears
How do you rebound from singlehandedly costing your team a Super Bowl? If you're Rex Grossman, you don't improve by any noticeable degree. He will never have the trust of his teammates and fans again, and he probably doesn't deserve it. He should count his lucky stars that Peyton's first Super Bowl overshadowed his meltdown. Thanks to a horrible division, Bears fans have another post season meltdown which will give them no position in the draft next year. Maybe they'll be desperate enough by next season to sign Michael Vick when he gets out of jail.

Record: 9-7, 1st place in NFC North

Detroit Lions
A funny thing happened on the way to the NFL season: the Lions drafted the best receiver since Jerry Rice, and their QB guaranteed a playoff spots. What Jon Kitna didn't understand is that you have to be some sort of legend for these guarantees to mean anything. Just ask Pat Riley. The Lions this year are going to be like an island filled with hot naked nymphomaniacs, but there is absolutely no bridge, and no way to get past the shark infested waters. Sorry, Motown. (And yes, that is the smoothest analogy I could think of in 30 seconds)

Record: 4-12, 4th place in NFC North

Green Bay Packers
Poor Green Bay. Not only is the state of Wisconsin mired in sports hell (with a possible reprieve from the Brewers, but I wouldn't count on it) but they're in the most unenviable position ever. Their marquee player is well past his prime, but is golding on for one more season to break the TD record. This would mean a lot more in Peyton Manning wasn't going to shatter the record whenever the hell he feels like it. Also, I kind of liked the record standing at 420. Don't ask me why. Good, young defense, and underrated receivers won't save the Pack Attack this year.

Record: 7-9, 2nd place in NFC North

Minnesota Vikings
I can't believe that ESPN has already said that Adrian Peterson will be in the Hall of Fame. He hasn't yet proven that he can make it through a college season without getting hurt, who's to say he can play a whole NFL one? I think he'll be okay, but he is certainly no lock for the hall of fame. Speaking of the hall of fame, guess who isn't going there? Tavaris Jackson, or anyone else on the 2007-08 Minnesota Vikings. If I was a member of this team, I would be down for a boat filled with hookers.

Record: 6-10, 3rd place in NFC North

NFC SOUTH

Atlanta Falcons
Well, I thought this could;ve been Michael Vick's year. I was wrong. Joey Harrington certainly is not the one to save a sinking franchise. How do I know? One word: Detroit. Don't believe me? Okay, one more word: Miami. 'Nuff Said.

Record: 5-11, 4th place in NFC South

Carolina Panthers
Unlike last year, when everyone had them going to the Super Bowl, this year, the Panthers might meet or dare I say exceed some expectations. Not with Jake Delhomme of course. But once he is benched after getting shelled by the Texans in week 2, David Carr will get his shot. After he gets over the shock of NOT getting sacked almost every down, he will throw some humdingers. Dwayne Jarrett already feels at home, having a Steve Smith with him in the receiving corps. That can't hurt anything.

Record: 9-7, 2nd place in NFC South

New Orleans Saints
I am relieved this year to be able to root for the Saints. Last year I was convinced that they would win the Super Bowl and redeem the town from Katrina, and that would prove to me that Sports were rigged, much like the Patriots winning in 2001-02 did. This year, I hope they do win. I like Drew Brees, and Reggie Bush is going to have a monster year.

Record: 10-6, 1st place in NFC South

Tampa Bay Buccaneers
How do the Bucs recover from a season in which they were probably the worst team in recent football history (even worse than last year's Raiders)? Stack the deck with as many washed up quarterbacks as you can find. This makes one thing clear: It can't be any worse than last year.

Record : 8-8, 3rd place in NFC South

AFC EAST

Buffalo Bills
A surprising finish to last year shows me that J.P. Losman is at the higher end of the mediocre quarterback. But if Jim Kelly couldn't win the Bills a Super Bowl, Losman certainly won't even come close.

Record: 8-8, 3rd place in AFC East

Miami Dolphins
If only they had given Marcus Vick the chance to prove himself. He certainly doesn't fight dogs. Instead, they bring in Trent Green who is not a very good fit for Miami. He was at home in the mid west, and he won't bring any help to these hapless Dolphins.

Record: 6-10, 4th place in AFC East

New England Patriots
Wow. This is an amazing team on paper. They have the best big game QB in the business with Tom Brady, and as an apology for wasting a year of his prime, they have surrounded him with the best combination of receivers in the NFL. The defense is always scary, and Bill Belichek is cooking up some sick game plans to make up for losing to the Colts last year. If they stay healthy, they'll make a go at 16 wins, but I don't think it will happen.

Record: 13-3, 1st place in AFC East

New York Jets
A mediocre team destined for a few more years of the same. Chad Pennington is good, and so is the coach, but they can't get past the Pats in the east, and they'll need some key wins to make it in the wild card.

Record: 9-7, 2nd place in AFC East

AFC NORTH

Baltimore Ravens
Their best shot at a Super Bowl win was last season when McNair got hot. The defense will be great, the running will be okay, but McNair is a year older and no longer a novelty in the AFC North. Troy Smith is going to become the face of that franchise, and the Ravens got a steal for him. I'll never understand why the writers who voted for him for Heisman turned on his so bad that he wasn't even drafted in the first round. Lucky for Ravens fans, Cleveland is in their division so they will never finish last.

Record: 8-8, 3rd place in AFC North

Cincinnati Bengals
My dark horse pick for the year. They have the same superstars as they have had for the last few years, and all their baggage has been cut loose. Carson Palmer and Ocho Cinco are ready to get back to the playoffs, and once they're there, they are gonna be hungry. If their defense has improved at all, they should the a threat in the AFC.

Record: 11-5, 1st place in AFC North

Cleveland Browns
Four thoughts:
1. Brady Quinn will start by week 10 (if Derek Anderson and Charlie Frye are lucky)
2. It won't make a difference
3. They are still the Cleveland Browns
4. The good news: possibly a number one draft pick in 2008

Record: 3-13, 4th place in AFC North

Pittsburgh Steelers
Now that Roethlisberger has recovered fully from his head injury, look for him to have another big year. I think the new coach will do pretty well, and I think the Steelers will be back in the playoffs, which certainly helped them two years ago.

Record: 9-7, 2nd place in AFC North

AFC SOUTH

Houston Texans
The only change the Texans made was to get the backup quarterback from the Falcons. Here's a hint guys: the QB wasn't the problem. You need an entire offensive line, and when they're guarding a worse quarterback, that's nobody's idea of success. As if they didn't have enough problems being in the same division as Indianapolis.

Record: 4-12, 4th place in AFC South

Indianapolis Colts
News flash: just because Peyton Manning won a Super Bowl doesn't mean that he is satisfied, or that he will approach the game any less diligently. He's going to come out this year better than ever, and the only question in my mine is how much damage he did to Tom Brady and Bill Belicheck's collective ego. I don't know, but I can't wait to find out.

Record: 12-4, 1st place in AFC South

Jacksonville Jaguars
Byron Leftwich is dangerously close to being a darker version of Brett Favre, a franchise player holding his team hostage. David Garrard did pretty well last year, and I think he is the future of that franchise. Their running game is pretty good, and I think they;ll do big things after this coming season, when Garrard gets the reins. They might make the playoffs, depending on when Vince Young gets hurt.

Record: 8-8, 3rd place in AFC South

Tennessee Titans
The bad news: I don't think Vince Young is quite superhuman enough to beat the Madden Curse.
The good news: If all goes as planned, he won't get hurt until Week 14 against the Chargers on December 9th, and he should have won enough games to at least secure a wild card spot. If not, make room for the Jags.

Record: 9-7, 2nd place in AFC South

AFC WEST

Denver Broncos
While Jay Cutler is going to be a terrific QB one day, I think he's got at least one year of getting his ass kicked before he becomes a big game QB. That year is this year. The Broncos are always dangerous, but I don't think they'll amount to much this season.

Record: 8-8, 3rd place in AFC West

Kansas City Chiefs
I could say the same thing as the Broncos if it weren't for two things. Brodie Croyle hasn't started an NFL game yet, and the running game is much better on KC. I think they'll do what they usually do: a respectable finish, but short of a playoff berth. Since I thin they'll beat Denver twice, they will finish slightly above them.

Record: 8-8, 2nd place in AFC West

Oakland Raiders
Even before JaMarcus Russell decided to milk the Raiders, I wasn't too optimistic. I think JaMarcus only got picked first because of the one game against Notre Dame. Just like HEISMAN WINNING Troy Smith was dropped to the later rounds because of one bad game. Russell just isn't that good, and Dante Culpepper is two years past being washed up. Just pile it on the bad news headed Oakland's way.

Record: 3-13, 4th place in AFC West

San Diego
The team is the same, the coach is worse. They'll easily make it to the playoffs thanks to an easy schedule. I'll never root for them however, as long as LaDanian Tomlinson continues to plagiarize Lawrence Taylor's nickname. They'll have the same record as New England, but they won't earn it.

Record: 13-3, 1st place in AFC West

So there you have it. The regular season results for this season. If you were paying attention, you know eight of the twelve teams in the playoffs. The Wild Card teams will be as follows

NFC
Philadelphia Eagles
Carolina Panthers

AFC
Pittsburgh Steelers
Tennessee Titans

In the next few days, I'll do you one better, and show you how the playoffs will pan out, featuring game recaps and scores. This will also include your Super Bowl Teams, as well as the winner. Until then.