2008-2009 NFL Playoffs: Wild Card Round Picks

The fallout from stretch run collapse and utter failure into the 2008-2009 NFL Playoffs has crystallized with the recent firings of Jets Head Coach Eric Mangini and Denver Bronco boss Mike Shanahan. Both teams were unable to secure a Wild Card NFL Playoff berth after leading their respective divisions at midseason following losses in the final week of the 2008 regular season.

In the case of Eric Mangini, riding a grizzled thirty-nine year old veteran into the stretch run of the 2008 NFL season is enough cause to be shown the door. The New York Jets raced out to an 8-3 record and peaked with a clutch 34-13 victory over the undefeated Tennessee Titans at Nashville. The Jets were the team to beat for all of fifteen minutes this season.

Brett Favre and the J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets quickly were brought back to reality by Father Time and the perpetual Boogie Man of mental gaffes and poor execution that is a staple of the Jets franchise. The club finished with a 1-4 record and out of the NFL Playoffs with a wretched, turnover-riddled performance versus the Miami Dolphins at the Meadowlands.

Favre was to go on to lead the NFL with 22 interceptions. The quarterback has frustrated Jets Nation with a maddening dosage of ill-timed, game changing pick-six turnovers throughout the season. Reports out of New York City have emerged detailing the brewing animosities lurking beneath the surface between Favre and his teammates. Running back Thomas Jones has taken to the airwaves to blast Favre and the Jet coaching staff at the urgings of Angie Martinez and her Hot 97 radio station.

Brett, this is not Wisconsin, anymore. New York City is irate.

Ironically, Hot 97 is notorious for instigating rap beef, not for getting coaches fired.

It is a fitting end for Eric "Manginius." Mangini, the former protégé of Bill Belichick forever tarnished the legacy of the New England Patriots franchise by fingering his former boss with the bold proclamation that the Patriots success came on the strength of video taping and stealing signals from opposing sidelines.

Spy-gate was born. Spy-gate evolved into a convoluted mess of wiretaps, New England Patriot interns, NFL Commissioner Goodell, and an eerie cover-up of destroyed footage that still included fines and lost draft picks. The Patriots proceeded to up the ante last season, blowing out all comers in retaliation for being labeled as cheaters. At the time, the Mangini - Belichick handshake was broken down and analyzed by commentators with more vigor than any offensive scheme. The father-son relationship disintegrated into warfare as the two openly loathed each other.

Eric Mangini is now out of work after three short seasons, a 23-25 record, and one NFL Playoff appearance with the New York Jets. Do not cross Bill Belichick:

Eric Mangini: 2000-2005 Patriot DB Coach and Defensive Coordinator. Fired as Jets Coach.

Romeo Crennel: 2001-2004 Patriot Defensive Coordinator. Fired as Browns Coach.

Charlie Weis: 2000-2004 Patriot Offensive Coordinator. Should be fired at Notre Dame.

Is Bill Belichick evil? Is the Bill Belichick coaching tree over rated? Is management to blame for recycling the same tired names in this Coaching Fraternity Network? Is management to blame for showing a coach the door after three crapshoot seasons? When are we going to learn?

Shanahan. Mangini. Cowher. Crennel (Maybe Not). Schottenheimer. Kiffin. Spagnuolo.

This is the NFL Mafia and I am foreshadowing that this musical chair coaching carousel mentality is doomed to fail. The big name coaching syndicate mocks fans with the unrealistic expectations of translating the Glory Days of yore into victory at a new location. Ownership buys into the hype, throwing money at these "big time" coaches with the intent of "changing the culture," i.e., selling seats. We must realize that coaching legacies are often a function of being at the right place at the right time.

For example, commentators were "shocked" that Shanahan was fired at the end of this 2008-2009 season in Denver.

Huh?

Losing to the Buffalo Bills at Mile High and then getting rocked by the San Diego Chargers 52-17 in prime time with a playoff spot on the line may warrant a pink-slip. Shanahan cannot win without Elway. Shanahan cannot run the football without the chop, ahem, "zone" blocking schemes of Alex Gibbs. Mike Shanahan is an over rated offensive "genius."

Still, Shanahan will land on his feet somewhere. Shanahan will "change the culture," boost ticket sales, and flop. Commentators will then resume to shouting at each other on the NFL Network, ESPN, and FOX to describe what happened, before bursting into fake, rehearsed laughter over some canned joke routine.

What if we all ran our respective lives from the lens of NFL ownership?

Husbands would be hit with divorce papers every other year for missing out on a promotion at work, students would switch majors weekly, investors would shift into and out of stocks every second (o.k. they already do that), and workers would quit their jobs three times within an eight-hour shift. We would then all commiserate with our friends and seek to throw as much money at whatever buzz worthy retread has-been that we could find to "turn this thing around."

Of course, right before refusing to show up for work, dismissing our loved ones, and giving our girlfriends the boot - we would pledge our "undying support" to these people while interviewing for a lateral move into another dead-end job, rekindling ties with an alcoholic Uncle Frank, and secretly telephoning our best friend's ex-wife.

Here are this week's 2008-2009 NFL Playoff Wild Card Round Picks:

Falcons (-1.5) over CARDINALS

Matt Ryan is no rookie and these Falcons are not the Seattle Seahawks. The Arizona Cardinals have ran rough shod over the weak NFC West Division and stumble into the NFL Playoff Wild Card round with a 9-7 record after being shellacked every where outside of the West Coast. The scenario was highlighted by the December 21 47-7 drubbing at New England this season.

Michael Turner is set to gash the Arizona defense to take the pressure off of Matt Ryan. A few sustained Atlanta drives here, Ryan to Jenkins bubble-screens there, several Michael Turner the Burner romps into the Cardinal secondary, and two field goals for good measure will put 20 points on the board for Atlanta.

The pick also includes the customary Kurt Warner fumble or pick-six interception paralleling the abject misery that has doomed fifty years of Cardinal football.

The 2008-2009 NFL Playoffs Wild Card Pick:

Atlanta 27, ARIZONA 17

Colts (-1) over CHARGERS

The two teams that "nobody wants to play" face off at San Diego. Indianapolis is the precise gamer that "nobody wants to play" led by the rocket arm of NFL MVP Peyton Manning and the quiet strength of Tony Dungy. San Diego is the manic-depressive team that "nobody wants to play" and feeds off of sheer turmoil.

Controlled chaos may beat the Kansas City Chiefs and Denver Broncos; but disorder of any sort will be a death knell versus the Indianapolis Colts.

Ladainian will be brooding along the sidelines in his full Darth Vader facemask headgear by the third quarter. Philip Rivers will be jawing at the Colts defense, Peyton Manning, and the Indianapolis water boy behind the bulwark of seven other Chargers from the friendly confines of the sideline with his familiar "hold me back" posture.

Norvel Turner will stare into space while fantasizing about his Glory Days at Dallas. You know, before he was exposed at Washington and San Diego as a middling Head Coach that was unwittingly foist into the coaching spotlight courtesy of calling the plays for a cast of Hall of Famers.

See: Weis, Charlie.

Hey, I grew up playing Madden. The playbook:

Lead draw to Emmitt Smith. Seam route to Jay Novacek. Lead draw to Emmitt Smith. Play action pass to Michael Irvin. Touchdown.

This was the Dallas Cowboy offense under Norv Turner. Certainly, every teenaged Madden fanatic could have won Super Bowls as the Cowboy offensive coordinator and parlayed that into a multimillion-dollar head-coaching contract.

Point taken. This thing will be a fiasco.

The 2008-2009 NFL Playoffs Wild Card Pick:

Indianapolis 34, SAN DIEGO 13.

Ravens (-3) over DOLPHINS

Chad Pennington will be running for his life. South Florida will serve as an ideal homecoming for Ed Reed and Ray Lewis, stalwarts of the "U." The wildcat gimmick will be blown up and abandoned after two possessions.

The Baltimore defense will be walking around prior to the snap, blitzing from three different angles, and dropping defensive tackles into coverage. The Raven fun-house defensive scheme will become a House of Horrors for the Miami Dolphins.

This will not be pretty.

Never mind Baltimore's rookie quarterback. Joe Flacco may only need to attempt fifteen passes to win this game. I am foreshadowing a repeat of the 27-13 smack down that the Ravens already laid upon the Dolphins at Miami in Week 7 this year.

The 2008-2009 NFL Playoffs Wild Card Pick:

Baltimore 38, MIAMI 13.

VIKINGS (+3) over Eagles

The Philadelphia Eagles recent 44-6 thrashing of the Dallas Cowboys will be exposed as a one-hit wonder fluke victory over a soap opera cast posing as a football team. Philadelphia's Mismanagement of the clock, curious play selection, and getting stuffed weekly in short yardage situations is not Playoff football.

Besides "run up the middle three times for no gain," "screen pass to Westbrook," and "Donovan rollout," what exactly is on Andy Reid's play sheet?

Has Reid ever played Madden before? Is Andy Reid's play sheet actually a local restaurant menu? Does it even matter?

Adrian Peterson will run wild. The Metrodome will rock.

The 2008-2009 NFL Playoffs Wild Card Pick:

MINNESOTA 24, Philadelphia 13.