2008 Grammy Awards Finally Brings Our Culture a NEW Pop Superstar

Move over Brittney Spears, we have a new pop star that has finally come to take your place. After nearly a decade of having your over-dubbed vocals and shaved body parts shoved down our throats we can move on from the trauma. I'm sure the whole thing was just a pawn placed in the market by the pharmaceuticals. All the young women have turned to anti-depressants because we'll never be as beautiful as you. The stocks have skyrocketed because the men have turned to blue erection pills for the fantasy that they could be with you.

Hopefully now, the rest of us musicians can be comparison-shopped to someone more realistic. I have heard it all in shopping for a record deal: "If you aren't Brittney Spears, we don't want anything to do with you." "Sure, we'll take a chance on you but first, do you think that you can come up with enough money from your friends and family to get a total makeover to look like Brittney?"

We can now strive to emulate the new pop star that is better and much thinner. I can't really say that Amy Winehouse's music would be hard to duplicate with her nasal tone and whiny lyrics but all the magazine, newspapers, television shows and You Tube videos love her for her originality. Five Grammy Awards are being airmailed to her in London for Record of the Year, Song of the Year, Best New Artist, Best Female Pop Vocal Performance and Best Pop Vocal Album. She wasn't at the actual Grammy Awards to accept them live but she performed via satellite, which may be assumed because she's on house arrest or surveillance where she can't leave the country. Now that's when you know you have made it in the big time, when the rest of the world caters to your schedule.

So how do people who spend most of their time in and out of courts and rehab earn millions of dollars and still get the coveted title of superstar? I know from my own experience going to a court (only once in my life for my parents divorce) is daunting and humiliating. Most of the time is spent waiting for the judge or being asked to come in and out of one room or another. How does anyone have enough time to rehearse his or her songs or book long and demanding recording sessions to create a full-length album overnight?

Ah, I envy those who are naturally talented enough to get a recording done in one take. That must be it, one shot Scott in the recording studio. I especially envy those born with parents who will subsidize them until they get a big break with a corporate sponsorship. Maybe that's what it takes these days to become a real musician.