2008 Holiday Rock Songs

Dreidel, Erran Baron Cohen ft. Jules Brookes

From Sasha Baron Cohen's less-famous brother, a holiday album entitled Songs in the Key of Hanukkah. Although not necessarily rock, the single "Dreidel" is one of the strangest yet most original offerings of the season. Furrow your brow at the video currently showing at a YouTube near you, and draw your own damn conclusions. Personally, I prefer the album's opening track, "Hanukkah, Oh Hanukkah", but there's no sign this treatment will surface as a single. Still, the EP is an interesting and stylistically diverse showcase, and one of few from a Jewish P.O.V.

RATING: 3 of 5

Joseph, Better You Than Me; The Killers and Elton John ft. Neil Tennant

For the third year in a row, the Killers are gracing the listening world with a Christmas single. 2006 and 2007 yielded the aiming-for-poignant "A Great Big Sled" and the darkly funny "Don't Shoot Me Santa," respectively. This year's offering is a collaboration with Elton John and Pet Shop Boys' Neil Tennant. As the title indicates, this is a contemporary look at the traditional religious subject matter of Christ's birth. Melodically and thematically, the tune is an uncomfortable patchwork of each contributor's musical styles. Slow, unmemorable, phonily soaring, and overtly religious, this unfortunate ditty is destined for the bargain bin before New Year's Eve.

RATING: 1 of 5

A Christmas Duel, The Hives and Cyndi Lauper

Any song containing the lyrics "I slept with your sister" (or anything in that neighborhood) gets my vote. So far, I'm voting for Nerfherder's "Sorry" and this single. In spite of the bad-taste-is-funny lyrics and doo-woppy song structure, the song falls just a bit flat, in part due to the Hives' Howlin' Pelle Almqvist's charmless, trumpeter-swanlike baritone, in part due to Lauper's evident straining as the melody tested her upper range. It's not the perfect pairing, but if you're down for downloading another snarkily dark holiday tune, you could do worse.

RATING: 2 of 5

Let It Snow Baby...Let It Reindeer, Relient K

The Christian band is rereleasing their 2007 album Let It Snow Baby...Let It Reindeer with three new tracks recorded this year. The idea is that the collection of holiday-themed tunes will "snowball" every year as songs are tacked on. This year's additions are all takes on traditional holiday songs.

God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

Cautious vocals and odd instrumentation characterize this track, which could have been more interesting and original with minor changes. Still, as it is, it's not a complete bomb, just slightly disappointing.

RATING: 2 of 5

Silver Bells

Here is a sweet, traditional take with an added bridge and interesting beats that set the song in a more up-tempo (and more typically rock) 6/8 rather than the typical 3/4. For the nonmusicians of the world, this means the cover isn't as slow and plodding as the original but has a pleasant movement without forced drive.

RATING: 3 of 5

Oh Holy Night

This most ambitious of junior high choir solos retains its usual slow pace in this rendition. One gets the impression that the whole band is either falling asleep themselves or attempting to put the listeners down for a nap.

RATING: 1 of 5

Little Drummer Boy, The Almost

From the band's Tooth and Nail EP No Gift to Bring comes this reworking of the traditional Christmas song. Predictably drum-driven, the track features acoustic guitar and unbearably scratchy-whiny vocals that remind me of a particularly annoying ex-boyfriend (here's looking at you, Emo Nemo). The song continues at a traditional tempo and ends with the frontman screeching "me and my drum" ad nauseum in lieu of an actual musical climax. On this track, the Almost have downgraded themselves to the Not Even Close.

RATING: 1 of 5

We Wish You a Metal Xmas and a Headbanging New Year, various

Eagle Rock Entertainment/Armoury Records bring you this heavy holiday treat. For the most part, this album is a novelty stocking stuffer for the otherwise ungiftable metalhead in your family. Still, there are a few stand-out tracks that bring old-school metal energy to old-guard holiday tunes with spectacular results.

Run Rudolph Run; Lemmy (of Motorhead), Billy F. Gibbons, and Dave Grohl

Rockabilly/metal guitars meet Lemmy's garbled growl and Grohl's solid drum work (and backing vocals) in this faithful and fun rendition of the rockin' holiday favorite. Heavy enough to tickle the fancy of the metal fancier in your crew, this track is still listenable enough for a general audience. Success rice! And the guitar solo is nothing short of bitchin'.

RATING: 5 of 5

Santa Claus is Coming to Town; Alice Cooper, John 5, Billy Sheehan, and Vinny Appice

Freakin' evil-sounding chords and vocals, typically symphonic and Cooper-esque, teeter on the edge of genuinely merry; overall, the effect is contrived and not altogether comfortable. Still, the guitar solo brings listenable noodling, and the track is a fun listen.

RATING: 2 of 5

God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen; Ronnie James Dio, Tony Iommi, Rudy Sarzo, and Simon Wright

Heavy riffs give way to Dio's distinctive warble in this dark arrangement that at the outset bears a little resemblance to Zeppelin's take on "Dazed and Confused." The obligatory guitar solo is fun, and the song is headbang-worthy throughout. I almost forgot I was listening to a Christmas carol. Don't miss RJD's spitting out "Satan's power!" in the reprisal of the first verse.

RATING: 4 of 5

Santa Claus Is Back In Town; Tim "Ripper" Owens, Steve Morse, Juan Garcia, Marco Mendoza, and Vinny Appice

This track brings driving blues-based riffs, passable vocals and drum work, and absolutely delightful guitars. The solo in particular shines. Avoiding any dark or spooky themes, this arrangement is a fun metal frolic. All in all, a great tune.

RATING: 3 of 5

In other tracks from this album, "Silent Night" gets an ill-advised if memorable death metal arrangement, double bass drums, guttural vocals, and all. And Stephen Pearcy, Billy Sheehan, and Greg Bissonette give the infamous "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" a distinctively punk treatment.

Honorable (and Dishonorable) Mentions

Christmas Cheer, The Boxmasters

Billy Bob Thornton's band brings an old-school country western vibe to original and traditional holiday tunes on this album. Check out the cover of John Prine's "Christmas in Prison" and the original tune "Slower Than Christmas."

Christmas on Mars, The Flaming Lips

This feature-length film brings a sci-fi take to the holiday as Martian colonists prepare for the planet's first Christmas. Written and directed by frontman Wayne Coyne, the movie features all band members and several associates. The soundtrack is available on CD and vinyl.

An Alternative Christmas, various

This album from label Alternative Addiction brings a safe, radio-friendly roster of songs from whatever-happened-to bands such as Lifehouse and Better Than Ezra and who-the-hell-are-they groups such as 16 Frames and Negative Space. The rock is mild and never distinctively holiday-ish, but the album is good for a game of "sounds like" as knockoff bands honeyhoney and Ryan Star give painful imitations of more commercially successful artists. After listening to "She's a Ho Ho Ho" from pop punk "rockers" Patent Pending, I can officially declare this the worst holiday rock compilation I've heard this year.