2008's Five Worst YouTube Videos

I've watched many awful videos on YouTube during 2008. The following videos deserve special mention for a variety of reasons. There's a saying that "it was so bad that it was good," but these go full circle back to being bad.

1. "Something near the hostel I stayed at," January 24, 2008, from NickolausPacione

Long after dark, there appear to be red flashing lights in the background, down the street, but it's unclear whether it's from an ambulance, or a fire truck. The lighting is so bad that it's impossible to see what's happening, and the audio is garbled, with the videographer breathless as if he had chased the emergency vehicle(s) on foot for half a mile. His camerawork is as shaky as his commentary.

It's laughable that the person filming this considers himself to be a "professional" journalist, photographer, author, and editor. No professional would even consider uploading this to YouTube.

2. "Piss Blogging Rant," April 24, 2008, from NickolausPacione

The topic of discussion, as the title suggests, is nothing but a rant about a couple of bloggers, from a guy who claims toward the end to be a "journalist." The audio quality is terrible, and the speaker, who is filming himself, sounds like a gerbil with a mouthful of marbles. Who wants to listen to an incoherent rant about a couple of bloggers that nobody knows, and to whom this "journalist" has taken a dislike? Unless the people being "trashed" are celebrities, it holds little appeal for anyone but the person who filmed and uploaded it.

3. "Poppy Shut Up," May 7, 2008, from NickolausPacione

This video is a rant at the author of the Liquor series of novels, Poppy Z. Brite, among others. It's filmed in black and white in a virtually unlit basement. This is a grudge video from a guy who not only is homophobic, but also asked for short stories that beat up on gays in one of his submission calls. Again, the audio is atrocious, the speech nearly incomprehensible, and the video has scratchy vertical lines like an un-restored film reel from the 1930s. The only thing clearly visible throughout the video is the speaker's stringy greasy looking hair, which is enough to make a viewer want to gag.

This video is a little closer to trashing a "celebrity," than the previous one, but the subject can hardly be considered a pop culture icon. "Doc" Brite, as Poppy is often called, is well known and respected within certain literary circles, but hardly a movie star, or even "famous for being famous," as it were.

4. "Issue Seven Submission Call," May 9, 2008, from LakeFossilPress

This video consists mostly of silent text in all sorts of weird, barely readable fonts, either scrolling across the screen, or appearing letter by letter, as if typed on an old Remington Rand. From a guy who claims to be a small press publisher, it bodes ill for the person who submits a story. The text layout is awful, as is the lighting for the brief clip in which the publisher appears.

If a viewer can barely read the text in this video, what can he or she expect the layout of the book to look like? During the segment in which the publisher appears, the audio is garbled to the point of near incomprehension; turning up the volume only makes it worse.

5. "An Eye In Shadows," May 10, 2008, from Lake Fossil Press

The 32-year-old self-published author/editor of this book talks about his book, An Eye in Shadows, which is a revisionist history memoir from his high school days. This particular video is in color, but takes place in an extremely dark, cluttered, messy, filthy looking basement, in front of a glowing computer screen.

Likely Page Break

Intended as a video to promote this book, it proves to be the antithesis of one. The gratuitous rant about bloggers whose blogs never existed until the writer was over 30 is a huge clue to potential readers about the content of this "memoir." Mixing up past and present isn't a good idea for a memoir of four years that occurred over a decade ago, nor does it make for good promotional material. It makes the author seem rather schizophrenic.

Parody readings of some material from this book have been made. Those are funny. This video is just nothing but a verbal ramble over hill and dale.

There are many other videos that make my "Top 40" list for being awful, but they are mostly of horrible garage bands or guys filming themselves popping huge zits in front of their bathroom mirrors. The former will always be around, and the latter are simply too disgusting to highlight.

I've watched many awful videos on YouTube during 2008. The following videos deserve special mention for a variety of reasons. There's a saying that "it was so bad that it was good," but these go full circle back to being bad.

1. "Something near the hostel I stayed at," January 24, 2008, from NickolausPacione

Long after dark, there appear to be red flashing lights in the background, down the street, but it's unclear whether it's from an ambulance, or a fire truck. The lighting is so bad that it's impossible to see what's happening, and the audio is garbled, with the videographer breathless as if he had chased the emergency vehicle(s) on foot for half a mile. His camerawork is as shaky as his commentary.

It's laughable that the person filming this considers himself to be a "professional" journalist, photographer, author, and editor. No professional would even consider uploading this to YouTube.

2. "Piss Blogging Rant," April 24, 2008, from NickolausPacione

The topic of discussion, as the title suggests, is nothing but a rant about a couple of bloggers, from a guy who claims toward the end to be a "journalist." The audio quality is terrible, and the speaker, who is filming himself, sounds like a gerbil with a mouthful of marbles. Who wants to listen to an incoherent rant about a couple of bloggers that nobody knows, and to whom this "journalist" has taken a dislike? Unless the people being "trashed" are celebrities, it holds little appeal for anyone but the person who filmed and uploaded it.

3. "Poppy Shut Up," May 7, 2008, from NickolausPacione

This video is a rant at the author of the Liquor series of novels, Poppy Z. Brite, among others. It's filmed in black and white in a virtually unlit basement. This is a grudge video from a guy who not only is homophobic, but also asked for short stories that beat up on gays in one of his submission calls. Again, the audio is atrocious, the speech nearly incomprehensible, and the video has scratchy vertical lines like an un-restored film reel from the 1930s. The only thing clearly visible throughout the video is the speaker's stringy greasy looking hair, which is enough to make a viewer want to gag.

This video is a little closer to trashing a "celebrity," than the previous one, but the subject can hardly be considered a pop culture icon. "Doc" Brite, as Poppy is often called, is well known and respected within certain literary circles, but hardly a movie star, or even "famous for being famous," as it were.

4. "Issue Seven Submission Call," May 9, 2008, from LakeFossilPress

This video consists mostly of silent text in all sorts of weird, barely readable fonts, either scrolling across the screen, or appearing letter by letter, as if typed on an old Remington Rand. From a guy who claims to be a small press publisher, it bodes ill for the person who submits a story. The text layout is awful, as is the lighting for the brief clip in which the publisher appears.

Likely Page Break

If a viewer can barely read the text in this video, what can he or she expect the layout of the book to look like? During the segment in which the publisher appears, the audio is garbled to the point of near incomprehension; turning up the volume only makes it worse.

5. "An Eye In Shadows," May 10, 2008, from Lake Fossil Press

The 32-year-old self-published author/editor of this book talks about his book, An Eye in Shadows, which is a revisionist history memoir from his high school days. This particular video is in color, but takes place in an extremely dark, cluttered, messy, filthy looking basement, in front of a glowing computer screen.

Intended as a video to promote this book, it proves to be the antithesis of one. The gratuitous rant about bloggers whose blogs never existed until the writer was over 30 is a huge clue to potential readers about the content of this "memoir." Mixing up past and present isn't a good idea for a memoir of four years that occurred over a decade ago, nor does it make for good promotional material. It makes the author seem rather schizophrenic.

Parody readings of some material from this book have been made. Those are funny. This video is just nothing but a verbal ramble over hill and dale.

There are many other videos that make my "Top 40" list for being awful, but they are mostly of horrible garage bands or guys filming themselves popping huge zits in front of their bathroom mirrors. The former will always be around, and the latter are simply too disgusting to highlight.