2009 New Year's Resolutions for Amy Winehouse

Amy Winehouse has had a really tough year. Being the tabloids' punching bag can't have helped her deal with her many problems. Hopefully Winehouse has been coming up with a set of resolutions for the new year. But just in case she hasn't, I've come up with a set for her.

Rehab should be Amy's first priority. She should resolve to stay there this time and really spend the time getting well, away from all the negative influences in her life. And I figure the best way for her to do that is to go to rehab in Tibet until next December. I doubt that even the most adventurous paparazzi would venture to Tibet for some photos.

When she gets back from rehab, Amy's first action should be a shopping spree. She has tons of money, but all her clothes look like they were collected from trashcans and used as rags for a few weeks. A shopping spree for some appropriate clothing will help her feel better right away.

She should also go shopping for new shoes. And she needs to remember that ballet slippers do not count as shoes. Those poor slippers of her have seen more than their fair share of blood and dirt and they deserve retirement on the beach. Shoe shopping is always a way to cheer a girl up.

Once she has her new outfits picked out, Amy should resolve to break the world record for longest bath ever. A good long soak and a nice scrubbing will wash all the dirt and grime from her old life off f her, so she can start her new life clean and fresh.

Then she should call a dermatologist and make an immediate appointment for a facial. Amy's poor face has been abused so much this year with dirt, make-up, and drug sores. A clean face will help her feel more confident and ready to face the world.

Next, Amy should hire a good lawyer and start divorce proceedings. She needs to rid her life of all her negative influences, starting with her husband who helped get her into her current situation.

Since she is getting divorced, she might also want to remove some of her tattoos. She should resolve to immediately book some laser tattoo removal sessions. She might want to take a few moments to say goodbye to the naked lady on her arm.

It is very important that Amy start gaining weight immediately. Her drug use has brought her down to a very unhealthy weight, and in order to start her new life in 2009, she needs to pack on some pounds. I recommend that she resolve to stay on a 10,000 calorie a day diet until she is a healthy weight again.

Once she is healthy, Amy should find a home far away from the paparazzi. She should buy a home out in the country far away from the distractions of city life. She can even have her own recording studio nearby so that she can focus on her career.

Finally, once she is settled in, Amy should resolve to make some new friends. She can find some wholesome pals by joining a book club or volunteering a few days a week. With good influences in her life, Amy can pick up where she left off before all the drugs and live a better life in 2009.