2010 Celebrity New Year's Resolutions for Mrs. Tiger Woods Elin Nordegren

Sheri Fresonke Harper
This year hasn't ended very well for Mrs. Tiger Woods. These 2010 New Year's Resolutions might make her New Year happier and help prevent a return to just plain old Elin Nordegren.

Dear, Mrs. Tiger Woods, Elin Nordegren,

I know that 2009 is closing in a really grim way for you. Here's my best suggestions about how to improve your married and love life now that your worst nightmare has come true.

#1 Celebrity New Year's Resolution: Stand By Your Man, Mrs. Tiger Woods

This New Year's Resolution for 2010 might not seem easy right now. Still, if you love him, you ought to be there for him.

#2 Celebrity New Year's Resolution: Never let him out of your sight, Elin Nordegren

That's right, the happiest husbands are the ones that have their dearest wife by their side, cheering them on, enjoying their company, listening to their thoughts and making sure they keep their hands on your body. Keep Tiger Woods in your eye and his on yours.

#3 Celebrity New Year's Resolution: Get a Financial Planner, Mrs. Tiger Woods


Tiger Wood has passed some cash to you; better make sure that you know how to manage it. With the way Tiger Woods is going, he might not have a good financial year next year.

#4 Celebrity New Year's Resolution: Make Him Pay, for Everything, Elin Nordegren


It may sound harsh, but now that you know exactly how much he values you, you better make sure that all your expenses are met out of his budget, after all, the recent payment is likely money for your retirement.

#5 Celebrity New Year's Resolution: Hire a Nanny, Mrs. Tiger Woods

In order to stay slim and trim and beautiful and fresh, leave all the child care to a professional that can be there to give the children naps and feed them at the proper time and bring them to you and your husband for quality family time. But be sure to teach them good family values.

#6 Celebrity New Year's Resolution: Tend to Tiger's Needs, Elin Nordegren

Be sure to be at Tiger's side every moment in order to tend to his needs. A life on the road with a famous golfer is the life you signed up for. His muscles get tired, his head needs peace and he needs you in his bed, for the time being.

#7 Celebrity New Year's Resolution: Trust Your Man, Mrs. Tiger Woods

Not that you know his faults, trust Tiger as far as you can throw your nine iron. That being said, don't try to change him. See item 6 about catering to his needs.

#8 Celebrity New Year's Resolution: Buy CellSpy and other Electronic Goods, Elin Nordegren


Just to be on the safe side, CellSpy can help identify any of the calls Tiger makes and so you shouldn't be the last one to know that you aren't the only one in his life. You never know, skills with CellSpy and other electronic snoop devices can aid you as a later actress or private detective.

#9 Celebrity New Year's Resolution: Practice your Golf, Mrs. Tiger Woods

The couple that plays together will likely stay together, so be sure to keep up your golf practice. It's also a good way to find a second husband.

#10 Celebrity New Year's Resolution: Keep Your Golf Clubs Handy, Elin Nordegren

Minor mistakes in life if they aren't dealt with in an upfront manner are likely to return. So, just in case, keep your golf clubs handy. You never know when Tiger Woods may need to be saved again.

Published by Sheri Fresonke Harper

Sheri works as a freelance writer, novelist and poet. She worked in the aviation industry at the Port of Seattle and Boeing Company for 20 years as a systems analyst/architect where she edited and wrote over...  View profile

13 Comments

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  • Linda M. McCloud12/30/2009

    I wouldn't give him another chance, either. However, I would make him pay for everything.

  • Kanakadurga Dingari12/16/2009

    I don't think she should do anything to stay with him. Tend to his needs, employ a nanny so that she can be there when he needs, can he do the same thing for her, if she needs him both emotionally and physically next to her not running away with so many woman. I don't think so.

  • Karen Gros12/14/2009

    He wouldn't be getting another chance if I were in Elin's shoes!

  • Charlotte Kuchinsky12/14/2009

    I disagree with standing by him unless she really loves him enough to put up with all the humiliation. I'd dump him like yesterday's garbage. One affair I could handle. Two, maybe if there was a good reason (like sex addiction) but when it gets to the double digits and he hasn't tried to curb his appetite, he doesn't deserve another chance.

  • Buba12/13/2009

    After all the women he was with, i would dump him. He had no respect for his wife. Who knows if he caught something from one or more of these women!

  • JerseyNana12/13/2009

    Funny but sad at the same time!

  • Sherri Granato12/13/2009

    He obviously enjoys sexual liasons with many, many various partners. I think he needs to address the underlying issues that have caused him to act on them without thought of consequences. I mean famous or not, this is really strange behavior in the very least. His #1 thought should be looking in the yellow pages for the closest sex addiction recovery center. Showing his wife that he truly wants to save his marriage starts with stifling his compulsive horny behavior.

  • Linda Ann Nickerson12/12/2009

    How about getting ol' Tiger some of those GPS undies?

  • Amanda Cartwright12/12/2009

    Too funny!

  • Bobbi Leder12/12/2009

    Funny!

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